weijiangling Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 For the romantic ace people here particularly, do you experience jealousy regarding your romantic partners/interests? I really don't, except maybe in rare instances when my relationship with the other person is so tenuous that someone else could pose a legitimate threat to it, but the number of times in my life I think I've felt something that might be called jealousy, even mildly, I could probably count on my fingers. When I searched I didn't really see much come up, so I'm wondering now if that's more normal in this group? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
banoffeepie Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 I can be jealous. But there's something I noticed a long time ago. If my partner acts just a little bit jealous, maybe just a tad clingy I don't. It's like I'm reassured by their jealousy. So when a friend complained to be about his partner's jealous behaviour I suggested he acted jealous for a bit. He did and sure enough, his partner stopped acting like that. Anyway to answer your question yes, absolutely, when I get bad everyone feels like a threat. Funny you should mention interests ... not at all. It's about who else is interested too, and their motives, so that becomes about people again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yatogami Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 Lucky for me, I prefer to be single even while in a relationship. I am open to open relationships too. So them going after someone else, would not be a bother to me. I don't get jealous, because I desire practically no attention of intimate nature. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 I'm not, but the reason is that I trust him deeply. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
weijiangling Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 15 minutes ago, banoffeepie said: I can be jealous. But there's something I noticed a long time ago. If my partner acts just a little bit jealous, maybe just a tad clingy I don't. It's like I'm reassured by their jealousy. So when a friend complained to be about his partner's jealous behaviour I suggested he acted jealous for a bit. He did and sure enough, his partner stopped acting like that. Anyway to answer your question yes, absolutely, when I get bad everyone feels like a threat. Funny you should mention interests ... not at all. It's about who else is interested too, and their motives, so that becomes about people again. That's really fascinating. I guess since jealousy can be seen as an indication of caring, that makes sense. I'm actually the opposite, though. If a partner acts more than the tiniest amount of jealous/clingy it upsets me... though that has a lot to do with trauma and having been in a relationship where it was actually used as a form of control. Not a good experience. I think it's important to have strong indications that your partner cares, either way, but that one just doesn't hit me that way. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleJane Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Thus far I've only been in relationships with allosexuals, and yes, I do get jealous. It's directly correlated to any insecurities I'm experiencing at that time, whether they're personal insecurities or insecurities specific to the relationship. Because my jealousy is mostly my own issues, I usually don't even bring it up to my partner... unless I'm feeling exceptionally bad about it, and then I basically just ask for some quick reassurance and/or a reality check. My jealousy is often irrational and ridiculous. It's not even like I think I'm going to lose my partner to this other person specifically. It's more like... for example, one of my exes usually went for very femme women -- makeup and heels and all that. My style trends more toward the tomboy end of things. Though I knew that he loved me and found me attractive, I would occasionally worry that a super hot femme chick would somehow make him realize that he wasn't actually into me at all. Not that she would "steal" him, but that her existence would somehow snap him out of whatever magic spell that had made him be attracted to me in the first place. See? Totally ridiculous! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
weijiangling Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 20 minutes ago, PurpleJane said: Though I knew that he loved me and found me attractive, I would occasionally worry that a super hot femme chick would somehow make him realize that he wasn't actually into me at all. Not that she would "steal" him, but that her existence would somehow snap him out of whatever magic spell that had made him be attracted to me in the first place. See? Totally ridiculous! Hah! I can understand that, though, just from my own insecure episodes. I haven't really had it land on other people who maybe seem more desirable like that, but I definitely have had periods of "But why would you want to be with me?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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