Urges to masturbate: do you get them?

[Zacharie]

Must of us don't think about sex at all but our body might think otherwise. As an asexual with high libido, there are certain days when the hormone is high and the need to masturbate becomes a thing you have to get done. 

 

Regardles of how how high your libido is,

do you get this urges?

 

How do you deal with them?

 

Do you think they determine whether or not you should be called asexual because you experience them?

 

Personally I think that it doesn't get in the way of how you identify as since is not something you can control and is not in your everyday mental agenda. I feel good masturbating in the simplest way (without toys or porno or any other), get the job done and continue my day. My urges normally come at night or very early in the morning.

[flyco]

Yes，I have a libido at some nights or very early in the mornings. If it comes strongly ,I just do it.Then I don't feel happy,but my body will be comfortable ,so I think that's ok, masturbation isn't something difficult.

[Zacharie]

27 minutes ago, flyco said:

Yes，I have a libido at some nights or very early in the mornings. If it comes strongly ,I just do it.Then I don't feel happy,but my body will be,so I think that's ok, masturbation isn't something difficult. comfortable

Yeah, I do feel torn about urges. I enjoy them as long as I can get release soon, but sometimes the itch stays for what it feels like an eternity (I might be in the line between of physically one sex and natural intersex). So I just do what I would with a mosquito bite and try to ignore it before I get hurt trying to get satisfaction  :/

[TheAP]

I don't think so. If I do, it's very weak. I don't think it means you're not asexual, though.

[Homer]

40 minutes ago, Lar said:

Must of us don't think about sex at all but our body might think otherwise.

I believe that a lot of people on here think about sex quite a lot

 

34 minutes ago, Lar said:

Regardles of how how high your libido is,

do you get this urges?

Yes. I don't like them, but I don't have a say in the matter. My body still produces semen, whether I have use for it or not. It needs to get rid of it every now and then. How often this needs to be done depends on a few parameters, but still.

 

36 minutes ago, Lar said:

How do you deal with them?

Masturbate. What else are you going to do? Sure, you can delay things a bit (or a few bits), but eventually you got to do it. It's like taking a dump really. You might manage to hold it back for a while in order to get back home and not crap your pants in the subway... but still. Eventually you're going to take a dump.

 

38 minutes ago, Lar said:

Do you think they determine whether or not you should be called asexual because you experience them?

No.

[SorryNotSorry]

I used to, but around age 46, my diabetes pretty much put the kibosh on that.

[swirl_of_blue]

I have a ridiculously high libido, especially for a biological female and it fluctuates according to which phase of the menstrual cycle I am in. Usually masturbating once a day or at least every other day is good, but if I'm feeling especially "needy" it can go up to four or five times a day. I can go without if necessary (for example vacationing with friends and having a shared room so that there's no privacy,) probably as long as I need, but usually I will be looking forward to having some "me time" after a few days. The longest break has probably been around a week. I don't mind having a libido, as the physical pleasure from an orgasm is really nice, and a good way to relax. Sometimes I watch porn or read erotica, but most of the time it's just me, my hand and my imagination.

[Nanoic]

I deal with it in the usual way.

[Galactic Turtle]

I don't but I'm also a girl. I think in general our bodies might work differently but also some girls might have a libido? I'm not sure how common it is though. Like I know we have the ability to masturbate but I don't think in general it's seen as much as a necessity as it might be for male bodies. I could be completely wrong.

[WinterWanderer]

I don't usually feel an urge to masturbate. But when I have felt horny in the past, masturbation was the only way to ease it. 

[pdRydia]

I have a very weak libido that comes to visit me about one day out of my menstrual cycle. It used to be stronger/more common, but after getting put on a particular medicine my libido went way down. Apparently that's part of why my wife wasn't surprised I was asexual: because my libido basically disappeared and I didn't care.

 

I do still masturbate to take care of it. I like to use a vibrator bc it just makes things go faster (and feel better).

 

I don't think it invalidates someone's asexuality. Getting horny and wanting to deal with that doesn't make you sexually attracted to anyone. It is confusing though.

[Joyd]

Very rarely. Tbh, I think it mainly happens when I focus on the idea of doing it on purpose. If I don't bother at all, I can go without pretty much forever. Still, it can be nice once in a while due to the physical feelings. Otherwise, meh, don't care.

[Ka'el]

I get urges to masturbate but they generally come in random "chucks" (i.e. sometimes I go months without masturbating). When I do get urges they're quite often unrelated to people at all, I'm usually not even being thinking about anything that could be considered alive (or dead) and just doing normal stuff. I do watch/read porn just to make the process faster so I can get on with life. 

 

I don't think urges really have anything to do with being asexual. While general society would likely draw the conclusion that they are, when the truth of the matter is that only you can know if you're asexual (or not). To add to this, from what I understand about asexuality it is fairly flexible and doesn't really "disallow" anything (except for being like full on, 100% sexual, also not meaning to sound like a jerk here please correct me if I'm wrong). 

[J. van Deijck]

I just don't. 

not only my drive is so low that I barely even notice it, but also I just can't do it. even the thought of touching myself in this way is highly repulsive to me.

so I don't do it even if it occasionally gets higher.

[Muledeer]

12 hours ago, Homer said:

I believe that a lot of people on here think about sex quite a lot

 

Yes. I don't like them, but I don't have a say in the matter. My body still produces semen, whether I have use for it or not. It needs to get rid of it every now and then. How often this needs to be done depends on a few parameters, but still.

 

Masturbate. What else are you going to do? Sure, you can delay things a bit (or a few bits), but eventually you got to do it. It's like taking a dump really. You might manage to hold it back for a while in order to get back home and not crap your pants in the subway... but still. Eventually you're going to take a dump.

 

 

I agree with Homer.  I view masturbation as an excretory function.   

[Ashmedai]

My libido's rather high, to the point where it happens roughly 2-3 times a day on average. It's pretty much just like any other body funciton.

[Yatogami]

I don't have any real libido, but occasionally I try to masturbate if I get aroused by my fetishes. Albeit, it doesn't do anything. I've only achieved orgasm once while awake, and a few times in dreams.

[Hermit Advocate]

I sometimes get the urge. I don't know if my libido is high or not. On those few occasions where I listen to the urge I end up accomplishing nothing and feel slightly gross with myself after and wonder why I wasted that time when I could have been reading fanfiction instead. It does nothing for me.

[EggplantWitch]

My libido is pretty low, I think. Like other people have said, it's like a faint itch. If I was told I could never scratch that itch again I'd shrug and get on with my life, but since I have a fortunately very harmless and also quite common fetish, where content that doesn't involve explicit sex is easy to come by, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't. I don't have any desire to engage in it with other people or even alone however (though if I had a partner who also had the same fetish, I'd be more likely to consider it than I would other fetishes like bondage and all that). And also like other people have said, it comes and goes. I've gone through months and months where I didn't think about it at all, and periods of a few days or weeks where it's an every other day kind of thing.

[Lucas Monteiro]

Yes, I have some urge to masturbate, because my libido is pretty high, but it's really interesting that once I finish doing it I just feel free from all those sexual thoughts, they dissapear and I have zero inclination to think about sensual or sexual things anymore. 

 

Because it's just masturbation, I do not believe it invalidates me being asexual, because I do not look and I do not care about sex. For me masturbation is just a way to relieve this libido soon, in a fast way, and nothing more and nor is it even a matter of pleasure.

 

 

[Laplace]

Not to sound callous or overly robotic, but I just view it as another bodily need like eating, going to the bathroom, or exercise. I have no control over my unconscious mind, so if my body itches, I scratch.

[Treesarepretty]

Hi, sexual here. For those of you who are romantic, could you ever picture wanting your significant other to masturbate you? (Maybe because it is gross to do it yourself?) If your answer is "no," would you consider an answer of "yes" to disqualify someone from being ace? 

 

Thanks. ☺

[swirl_of_blue]

1 hour ago, Treesarepretty said:

Hi, sexual here. For those of you who are romantic, could you ever picture wanting your significant other to masturbate you? (Maybe because it is gross to do it yourself?) If your answer is "no," would you consider an answer of "yes" to disqualify someone from being ace? 

 

Thanks. ☺

I am very much libidoist, but having someone touch me like that would be absolutely horrible. I would rather just lie there with my eyes closed and be f***ed than have someone's hands or mouth anywhere near my genitals. Touching one's own privates is not gross, but someone else's hands there certainly is too much for me, to the point where genital-to-genital contact is preferred.

 

And being masturbated by someone else certainly qualifies as "partnered sex" for me, so actively desiring it with someone would kind of contradict aceness for me. About the "too gross to touch it myself" I can't say, since I don't understand how someone else's touch would be any less gross because for me it is exactly the other way.

[Treesarepretty]

1 hour ago, swirl_of_blue said:

I am very much libidoist, but having someone touch me like that would be absolutely horrible. I would rather just lie there with my eyes closed and be f***ed than have someone's hands or mouth anywhere near my genitals. Touching one's own privates is not gross, but someone else's hands there certainly is too much for me, to the point where genital-to-genital contact is preferred.

 

And being masturbated by someone else certainly qualifies as "partnered sex" for me, so actively desiring it with someone would kind of contradict aceness for me. About the "too gross to touch it myself" I can't say, since I don't understand how someone else's touch would be any less gross because for me it is exactly the other way.

Thank you. This is a very informative answer. 

[Nea Rose Symphony]

I don't get urges and unsure if I should be able to or not

[ben8884]

I experience arousal but do I get the urge to masturbate? Sometimes I guess? I usually just get wet dreams which I also don't like. In terms of hand stuff... I like the idea of it but I am unsure whether I would like the reality of it. I would say my libido is average, whatever that means.

[A shard of glass]

Hey there!

 

Yes, I get the urge, and I deal with it by masturbating. I also masturbate to deal with stress (I call it madturbating - the process of masturbating out of madness/anger)

 

However I say that the process of masturbating does not define your sexuality. I masturbate a lot, and my libido is crazy high, still demi though as I'd rather masturbate than jump into bed with someone I just met... But jumping into bed with someone who I trust and care about in an emotional way... THAT is where I live... IF I HAD A GIRLFRIEND XD

 

-BW

[weijiangling]

On 9/28/2017 at 10:37 AM, Galactic Turtle said:

I don't but I'm also a girl. I think in general our bodies might work differently but also some girls might have a libido? I'm not sure how common it is though. Like I know we have the ability to masturbate but I don't think in general it's seen as much as a necessity as it might be for male bodies. I could be completely wrong.

That's a pretty common misconception, since there's some societal narrative that women aren't supposed to have a libido. It varies from person to person and to the variety of potential extremes you might expect for anyone, and masturbation has really similar physical effects no matter what genitals you have. If anything, I think female bodies just tend to be a little more inconsistent since the menstrual cycle affects hormones and that means for a lot of people it can be way higher or way lower depending on what time of the month it is.

 

On 9/29/2017 at 5:03 PM, Treesarepretty said:

Hi, sexual here. For those of you who are romantic, could you ever picture wanting your significant other to masturbate you? (Maybe because it is gross to do it yourself?) If your answer is "no," would you consider an answer of "yes" to disqualify someone from being ace? 

 

Thanks. ☺

Hesitant yes. I can veeeeeery rarely be in the right mood to do something like that with my SO (I have done that before and enjoyed it)... but that's also why I'm calling myself grey. I think I can safely say, though, that if it was something I thought was gross to do by myself, having a partner do it wouldn't help at all. And honestly I think if I brought a partner into it I'd generally be happier if they just kiss and cuddle me while I deal with the genital touch myself. 

[Xavy]

Urges - not so much, but every now and then I check that things are still working. 

[Janus the Fox]

Not any-more, not without the partner present, the urge to masturbate is gone due to having sex on a weekly basis.  The partner libido meanwhile is pretty much the opposite and could masturbate to my image or porn up to twice daily.