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What age did you discover you were asexual?


Apersonontheinternet

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With 14, I had this really big crush on one girl (my first one) and I got closer to her and hung out with her (and her friends) every break, we would play a card game and at first I thought my love was a pretty normal one I was happy to spend time with her.

Then during a theatrical play we were supposed to play a couple. Up until then I never really thought I wanted something like that with her and I didn‘t really care for the idea during the play we we were supposed to hug and pretend to kiss and such and I thought it was weird that I just felt nothing.

During the later parts of the play we also started having swimming class together, and even then seeing her in her bathing suit triggered nothing I realised I didn‘t care for her body.

At first I thought Something was either wrong with me or everyone else but I then did some research and found out about asexuality, and now I‘m here.

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3 years old i told my mother i didnt want to have sex

 

5 i told my mother penises scared me 

 

9 i googled "dont want to have sex" i found out about asexuality 

 

11 years old i came out to my mother as ace.

 

but i knew from the start sex wasnt for me. my lack of sexual attraction towards people wasnt what made me realise, it was my disinterest in sex. it started as a fear (at age 3) but grow into a boredom towards sex. at 11 i realised i didnt look at boys and wanna sit on them kinda thing. 

 

all my crushes were me not wanting to fuck them but me wanting to be them. id look at boys and wanna wear there shorts and id look at girls and wanna have there hair...it was never i want to kiss and touch you. never ever.

 

my kindergarden teachers (age 3-4) called my mother telling her that i said "i dont want to have sex" they asked her how i knew about sex at such a young age all i can say is i knew my body i knew i had a whole down there and that i didnt want anything going up there. 

 

im not sex repulsed 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I "knew" long before I knew there was a word for it. If someone asked me "are you gay straight or bi?" I often replied with 'or' or 'none of the above', sometimes I even straight up would basically define asexuality by saying I was like 'the opposite of bi'.
However, I first found out there was a word for it when I was about 19 [which is the year I joined here, iirc].

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I struggled with my sexuality for years. I couldn't figure out what I was and wasn't attracted to, and it got worse after I graduated. It wasn't that long ago that I discovered that I had misinterpreted aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction, and that pretty much cinched the whole asexual thing. Shortly thereafter I discovered I was aromantic as well, and even though that didn't take nearly as long to figure out, it was a lot harder, since romantic attraction is a lot more difficult to define.

 

This was all this year, by the way. I'm eighteen years old. :)

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I was a teenager and feeling left behind by all the crushes that my friends had. I wasn’t bothered at all but knew that I was different for feeling that way. It was only last year that I first heard the term and realised that it was a real thing. I was so relieved! I’m 40 now!

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manly unicorn

I always knew I guess, but the thing is, I thought that was "normal" and that everybody else felt the same way I did. It was only until mid teens that I realized this is not how most people feel about this. Heck I didn't even know what a penis even looked like until I was like 16 because it never interested me to really know. I discovered the word asexual a lot later and I'm not completely closed to the idea of finding out at some point that this term doesn't apply to me anymore but I figure this will continue to be true unless proven otherwise. 

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I was 18 years old. My friends could not stop talking about sex at the time, and not only did it make me uncomfortable, I just wasn't interested! I declared I wouldn't start dating until after university, which is when one of my friends joked about me being an asexual. Never hearing this word before, I went home, googled the word, and never looked back since! 

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awkward_pterodactyl
On 9/28/2017 at 11:58 AM, Ka'el said:

From what I remember I was 16 or 17. Wasn't really sparked by anything, was just like "oh well this explains a lot" and moved on, also I find that knowing what to do with said knowledge is often more important that acquiring it (but that's just me).

Me too. I kinda assumed that since I was a tomboy, I just wasn't feeling it yet, but now I'm 17 and I happened by some asexual posts on Tumblr that made me realize- oh yeah, that makes sense. I always assumed sexual attraction was just a stereotype or exaggeration, but turns out I'm just out of the loop.

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FinneganCatch

I realized in my teens that I really didn't have the same views that a lot of my friends had when it came to sex and dating but it wasn't until I was in my 20's (21-22 ish?) that I found out there was a word for it. I'm 26 now and just starting to use the word asexual for myself.

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On 12/4/2017 at 6:50 PM, LoopingBear said:

I was a teenager and feeling left behind by all the crushes that my friends had. I wasn’t bothered at all but knew that I was different for feeling that way. It was only last year that I first heard the term and realised that it was a real thing. I was so relieved! I’m 40 now!

As a teen I didn't seem interested at all in dating, even though I knew girls as friends. It didn't know anything about asexuality until I was in my early 40s.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Adventurefreak

At around 20

Actually I first thought that I was straight since I was attracted to guys only. 

 

I heard people saying "Yeah sex is something that you must wait till you're married..... "

I was like its normal, definitely not hard at all to wait...

 

I never understood why some people rush over for sex in a relationship...  even if it gives them pleasure....as there are MANY other ways to have fun as a couple....

 

I could understand if couples wanna kiss & caress but when one says they badly want to have sex, I always thought they were joking or exagerrating xD....

 

I do experience sensual or aesthetic attraction & I actually thought that was sexual attraction xD

 

I never thought that wanting badly to have sex was a real thing till recently. I thought only rapists were like that though xD

 

& I was like phew that explains a lot of things!!

I am not the only one 😊

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I found out this year (I'm 15). I knew what it was, but always thought that I wasn't. Now, it's really apparent that I am (I've only had one crush which was purely romantic, and I can't really fathom the idea  of wanting to have sex with a specific person). Whenever I told people about it, they said that I was probably ace, but I just dismissed it. Now, I've finally accepted myself.

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EnterCreativeName

I was 14 (I'm 17 now) when I first heard of it through an LGBT assembly at my school. It was the last definition in their presentation, and took up less than half the slide. I didn't think much of it until over the summer, when I had more time to think. I never thought I was any different than any other strait person, but the second I searched the definition of asexuality, I knew it was me. I realized how different I was from my friends, and within an hour I had fully accepted that I was an aromantic asexual. 

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Hermit Advocate
6 hours ago, EnterCreativeName said:

It was the last definition in their presentation, and took up less than half the slide.

Well that's more information than most people give. 

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EnterCreativeName
8 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Well that's more information than most people give. 

Yes, it is. Above it was the definition for pan and I believe gray-A. They were all squished together on one slide. If I heard right, there is an asexual in out GSA. I thought about going to a meeting once and saying hi, but I haven't had the time. 

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I found out I was asexual when I was 21 going on 22 earlier this year. The year before, I fully realized I didn't want sex out of a relationship and wasn't attracted to men in a sexual way (my sex drive is nonexistent, I've just got romantic drive). But even after talks with my parents, I felt like I wasn't being understood. I was starting to think that maybe I was broken, that there was something wrong with me. I mean, if everyone else wanted sex, why shouldn't I? The longer this went on, the more it bothered me.

Then like every other asexual, I learned about asexuality and AVEN earlier this year, and I felt such relief and happiness in realizing I wasn't broken. Literally everything fell into place and made sense - I mean, all my life I'd felt this way and never knew it or had the words to describe it. And to find that there were others like me gave me so much affirmation and helped me feel like less of a lonely freak of an ace. I'm all the better for it

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When I was ten-year-old in fifth grade knowing exactly what sex was and how it should feel thanks to the absurd amount of sex jokes my friends and classmates were making and the Internet, I was asked by a friend if I'd have sex with a future partner. Instantly, as if by instinct, I responded with a serious no. Shortly after that and being confused as to what the heck all the hype about hot or sexy people was about, I knew that I wasn't the same as my peers. I later learned that this perspective towards sex had a name: asexuality.

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I learnt about asexuality when I was 17 or something, but only associated it with me when I was 20 or something, and accepted it when I turned 23 :P 

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Fantastic Name

I've always known there was something different about me in that way, but for a long time could never really put my finger on it. I stumbled across asexuality when I was 11 or something, but didn't really take it seriously then. Lo and behold, look at where I am now years later. Nothing special. :P

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24. No idea until then.

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19 hours ago, TheNerdyOne said:

I found out I was asexual when I was 21 going on 22 earlier this year. The year before, I fully realized I didn't want sex out of a relationship and wasn't attracted to men in a sexual way (my sex drive is nonexistent, I've just got romantic drive). But even after talks with my parents, I felt like I wasn't being understood. I was starting to think that maybe I was broken, that there was something wrong with me. I mean, if everyone else wanted sex, why shouldn't I? The longer this went on, the more it bothered me.

Then like every other asexual, I learned about asexuality and AVEN earlier this year, and I felt such relief and happiness in realizing I wasn't broken. Literally everything fell into place and made sense - I mean, all my life I'd felt this way and never knew it or had the words to describe it. And to find that there were others like me gave me so much affirmation and helped me feel like less of a lonely freak of an ace. I'm all the better for it

Yep. I jealous of you ;) It took me until I was 44 to find out about AVEN.

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I first heard the word and immediately came out at 18, but I had been dancing around it all my life--but I'd say from 15 on, when I first came out as gay (ONLY because I didn't feel for boys the same way my girlfriend's did), that's when I really truly felt asexual.

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With me, it was sort of like a scene from the lion king. When one of the king's new friends is described as an insectivore his friend replies "oh, so that's what they call it". Frankly I seldom thought much about the fact I never felt any sexual attraction to anyone. It was probably this forum that introduced me to the term asexual. That would have been 2014 and I was 57. I suppose as far as I'm concerned people aren't straight, gay, bisexual or asexual. People are just people to me. 

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When I was about 17-18 I realised that I wasn’t quite the same as the rest of my friends. They were interested in going out to pull girls, whereas I was more interested in going out to socialise, meet new people, and have a laugh. Sex was never even on my mind, but it was never something I worried about. 

It wasn’t until I was about 21 that I 1st came across asexuality after reading about Morrissey the musician. I talked to a few close friends about it, but they were like “Nah, that’s not a real thing” and I think this caused me to go into the ‘I must be broken’ phase that I know a lot of us have gone through at some point.

Then at about 25 I had one disastrous sexual encounter (I could write a whole comical post about the evening lol) and this made me think “Stuff this! Yes I am asexual.” And that was it, I’ve been fairly happy ever since. 

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earlier this year. i never even thought of not liking sex, until i realized it's just boring to me lol. sex was more of a fear of std's or pregnancy to me, and when i realized i was asexual i felt so much better lmao. also i'm 22

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Three years ago? Went on a research binge when I discovered that the asexual spectrum existed. Everything just "clicked." As a preteen I never got on the whole "I'd-totally-bang-such-and-such-actor/person" and as I got older, any sexual advances just flew over my head. Now that I know that I am asexual, it makes going out and hanging with friends so much easier because I know my boundaries and what I am comfortable with. Now I can focus on having a good time and enjoying any conversations that float my way. (Which totally back-fired once, which is a story that is both laughable and borderline cringe.) On a serious note, I cannot thank AVEN enough for providing a safe community for everyone to ask questions and to get the support that they need. 

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I began getting the feelings that are typical of an aro ace when I was ten?

Then I found the official definition and immediately knew this was the identification I was looking for, so I started labeling myself as aro ace a few months ago. I'm thirteen now, and I've come out to three friends officially, so yeah, the title feels right.

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From my early teens I always knew I was different. My friends always used to comment on how hot a particular celebrity was, I agreed and just went along with rating the celeb. Later in my teenage life, as my friends were becoming more sexually active, I still didn't have the urge or desire to have any kind of intimate relationship with another person. I shrugged it of as I never had been in any form of  relationship (romantic or sexual), so I presumed when I was in a relationship the desire for sex/intimacy would naturally follow. Fast forward about 2 years, and I got into my first relationship, as it was my first "proper" relationship, I fell for him hard, lets say "love"(?). Throughout the relationship, I didn't feel the sexual attraction which I almost expected, it wasn't a good feeling, as it made be very confused. When that relationship ended, I was heartbroken, obviously, but I am a very reflective person and I realised I never wanted to be intimate with him. So I was scrolling through some LBGTQ+ accounts on Instagram, I found the term "asexuality", and the description clicked with me instantly. It was a massive weight off my shoulders, as I wasn't broken, and it was totally okay to feel like this. That was almost 2.5 years ago, and I'm still very happy with the asexual label, it still describes me very well.

 

My romantic orientation is still pretty new, as I thought I was a romantic ace, but doing that reflective jazz, it hit me I've only experienced romantic attraction to one other person, my ex. Prior to him, I never have experienced any romantic attraction, only platonic. Et viola, that's how I defined myself as a grey-heteroromantic ace. :D

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