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Apersonontheinternet

What age did you discover you were asexual?

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Apersonontheinternet

Me, just recently... I am almost 14, too young? Phsss... High school is a weird place, all I have to say.

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mistfallen

I'm 16 and found out when I had just turned 15. you're definitely not too young, I thought I was "just not ready for sex" for a long time until i realized that most people start feeling sexual attraction at around age 12 or 13. Weird. 

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Chris Zulas

I always knew even as a little kid that I would never be into it. I could've been wrong, many in that position were. I wasn't. Apply a label to yourself whenever the Hell you feel you can/want to/should and be okay if it changes. I knew I wasn't into dating as a kid. That evolved into the term "asexual" when I originally heard it, then when I possibly had a crush on a girl in middle school and started watching porn I doubted myself but romance and watching porn do not mean I want to have sex, they are different things. I went from "I don't like girls" to "asexual" yadda yadda yadda to what I ID as now, a demiromantic autochorissexual asexual with a lot of non-practicing kinks, very low but not non-existent libido, and a distinct lack of interest and willingness for sex or even doing stuff on my own.

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podsnap

By the time I was 14 I was in the beginning stages of figuring it out that something major was going on with everyone else that for some reason, just wasn't happening for me.

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Annie9

i realised at 14 that i was asexual.

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quietcrayon

I first heard the word when I was around twelve? I was confusing it with aromantic (thought they were the same) at the time, but I really don't think fourteen is to young to know you're ace. I heard the word, and had already been questioning whether I was gay, but then it was just 'no wait, that actually makes wayyyy more sense'. Its stuck with me since. 

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Decaf

I always knew on some level, but I didn't hear the word until maybe 1979. The first ace yahoo group began in I think 2000 or 20001, so I began to identify from around that time, making me 40 when I began to think of myself as asexual. I'm 56 now.

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Midnight Spiral

When I was 13 I noticed I never had crushes and had no real interest in romantic things, but I thought that was what most people were like and figured I was normal.  I barely had a concept of what sexual stuff was back then, so I didn't think much about it.  I didn't notice much around me as I tended to keep to myself.  In high school I started to notice more just how many people were dating, but didn't think about it much as I assumed I just wasn't ready or met the right person yet.  Though I knew for the time being I didn't feel sexually attracted to anyone.  I didn't really realize I might be asexual until I was 19, when I was in college.  That's when I payed closer attention to people's relationships.  I fully realized I was different when I tried to date people as it seemed like the normal thing I should do at my age and then I realized no matter how much I tried I couldn't feel sexually or romantically attracted to people even if I really liked them.  I heard the term asexual about a year before that, if I heard it earlier during my high school years and did more research on it I might have understood myself better sooner.  Basically I noticed my lack of attraction when I was younger, but didn't realize I was asexual until I really started to compare myself to others.  I don't think you're too young to label yourself as asexual, if I had known more back then I might have done the same.  Dating was not a good experience when I didn't really feel romantic or sexual attraction to the people I tried to date, so knowing sooner would have been nice and would have saved me some trouble.

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Quasar.w

With 18.5 years (oh yes I remember it that precisely) I found the term asexual, I always knew that there was something different about me but I just couldn't figure out what...

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LadyFie

As I am romantic, the thought of being asexual didn't occur to me for most of my teenage years. I had crushes, I felt sensual attraction and I tried some sexual things because I was really curious. I knew sex as that "great" thing that everyone was talking about, so I tried to get myself in sexual situations, so I could also feel that "great" feeling that was supposed to occur, but I never did. Sexual contact was just a mix of boring and disgusting and awkward.

Spoiler

As I got older, I even managed to create orgasms by masturbation, but it was a really physical experience, I didn't really get any mental satisfaction from it.

Eventually, I started to realize that I wasn't doing something wrong. I just wasn't into sex, I didn't like it and had no desire for it. I discovered the term "asexual" only quite recently (I'm 18 now) and it really helped me understanding that there's nothing wrong with me.

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Ornithorhynchus anatinus

I first realised I was asexual when I was 15 but initially identified as romantic because I had difficulty (and on occasion still do) differentiating between platonic and romantic attraction.  

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theperksofbeing

i realized when i was 14 too, through a whole lot of research. i can't tell you when i heard the term 'asexual' for the first time, but i was lucky enough to know what it was pretty early on, so it didn't take me long to figure it out from there 

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lazypanda

At about 20-21 years of age i guess. But then,i only found out about sex at 18 (no,they didn't do sex-ed at my school)....so i guess it's not too late.......

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ArcticWolfies

Hi! I'm 13 at the moment, 14 at the start of next year, and I found the label/community 'asexual' only this year, but my entire life I've had no interest in sexual/romantic relationships. All of my friends had figured out their sexuality (whether they'd come out to me or not by that stage) by late last year. I figured at that stage that I was ace. I don't know if I'm too young - might change in the future, but I don't see that happening. Still trying to figure out my romantic orientation though.

 

So, in summary, I've been ace my entire life, realised it at 12, and began using the label and coming out at 13.

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MandraSedai

I didn't hear about the term "asexual" until I was a freshman in college. I didn't know that that's what I was until sophomore year of college. Due to lack of exposure I always just assumed that I was nothing other than completely "average". That I was a cisgendered heterosexual person. I just never gave it much thought as a child. It never occurred to me, when I was younger, that there were any other "options". Haha. Ugh. I just though I hadn't had the spark lit yet. I thought I was just a late bloomer. I believed that I just hadn't met the right people. Oops. Then again, I was ignorant. As a young person I was never exposed to anything other than the norm! So how could I fathom that I was anything other than that! Lol. Well, guess what, I'm 110% asexual. I did some serious angsty soul searching throughout college and a bit after, and finally found that the orientation of asexual did indeed apply to me, no more question about it. So.... I knew I was asexual by the time I was 19 or 20 y/o or so. Agender around the same time. Aromantic(ish?) by the time I was 24. Eep! 

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Zebrafinch

I first thought I might be asexual when I was twelve, after reading an article about asexuality in New Scientist. Then I mostly forgot about it. 

Now, after a bit of soul-searching I'm here. I'm twenty-five.

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Ka'el

From what I remember I was 16 or 17. Wasn't really sparked by anything, was just like "oh well this explains a lot" and moved on, also I find that knowing what to do with said knowledge is often more important that acquiring it (but that's just me).

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GLRDT

Well I've always felt something was different since like fourth grade when people were getting crushes or talking about how cute celebrities were. But the first time I actually discovered there was a name for my orientation and that it was a real thing and accepted it for myself was several months ago? So age 27. It makes me happy and a little envious of those of you who are discovering this about yourself so young. Of course it can always change as you get older, but it might not and either of those things are okay. The important thing is you have a label and a community you can identify with now and that brings you comfort now. I wish I had that when I was younger, so congrats to all you young people!

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wussa

I was about 20 when I realized I was asexual. I guess I never realized because I thought plenty of people were cute and didn't notice that beyond acknowledging someone was cute I didn't really think about/want to be physically involved with them. Discovered what asexual actually meant and had an aha! moment, I always felt uneasy when I said I was straight before because it just didn't fit so it was nice to have a label for myself finally.

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fuzzipueo

I knew when I was thirteen that I was asexual. I just didn't have a word for it (1980s y'know - the dark ages ;)).

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Violet_Finch

About six months ago or so, 22 years old! I'd heard the term on the internet but never really looked into it, when I started doing some reading I realized a lot of it applied to me and made a lot of stuff in my life make sense :lol:

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Big J

Growing up I thought I was bi. Then I figured out I was gay. But I knew there was more to it all still. I never really cared to look into it more and then this year I heard the term asexual. I looked it up and it all clicked for me. I am 37.

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Joyd

About 4-5 months ago, so when I was 20. I technically knew long ago, just haven't properly researched about those terms before, so I didn't have a specific way to call it. Used to consider myself heteroflexible since I kinda liked guys more aesthetically, but had no real feelings when considering being with a woman. In the end, I'm kinda meh either way. I just prefer to look at guys if I have to choose.

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Mermaidy

I could only be realistically sure when I was 20

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sarahcasm

It was about two years ago when I first learned what asexuality was, so I must have been 19 or 20. If I knew the term sooner, I'm guessing I would've known when I was around 16 and all my friends were talking about sex and whatnot and I was 100% not interested in joining that discussion...

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weijiangling

Basically this year and I'm 30. I was sort of unsure and feeling like the odd one out until I was 19 and then ended up convinced I'd just been a late bloomer or whatever because I ended up in a relationship with a very very sexual guy and was okay with that for a while (before it just kind of got awful). Having been out of that relationship for getting on 5 years, I will just say that having someone intentionally mess with your head when you're working on forming an identity does not help anything.

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Sean-Kat

This year. 24 y/o.

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Lirpaderp

I first heard the term when I was 16, at first I was excited somebody finally told me a definition that fits me, and then I was in denial....for 2 years... Now I'm ok with being ace. My extended family doesn't know, but people's sexual preferences aren't anybody else's business. And they haven't asked me, so yeah

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iōnas

Looking back at it I should've realized when I was 13-14 but being naive and such it only hit me years later when I was 18 or 19 that when people talked about girls they talked about them sexually, whereas I was just "gee, she sure is looks pretty" and moved on. Obviously figured by then that I was different and at age 21 I properly looked into asexuality and realized that hey that's me. 

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Hermit Advocate

I began to realize it when I was 12-13, but I didn't actually sit down and think about what asexuality was and if I was asexual until I was 19. I guess I kind of procrastinated on figuring myself out. I was to busy reading and trying to avoid people. 

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