A person That is real Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 So my everybody thinks I am super straight, but honestly I believe I am ace. I am scared to come out tho because I know my family won't accept it. At least not at first, so what should I do??? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
carbomb Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 My best piece of advice is don't do anything that would put you in any sort of distress. If that means coming out to your friends / family, then just don't do it. But besides that, just recognize that labels don't matter and your behaviors don't need a justification. In my experience, using the term "asexual" around people who have no idea what it means just further complicates things. If they ask why you're not engaging in dating / sex, just say that you're not interested. If they need an explanation beyond that, then maybe talk about asexuality and it's meaning with them. If they take it poorly and think it's any sort of disorder, direct them towards the DSM-V. For other questions / negative reactions, I'd direct them towards whatisasexuality.com and its sister site asexualityarchive.com. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nirnroot Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 Just tell them that love is not a priority to you, and you would rather not think about it. They probably aren't knowledgeable about asexuality, and it's probably better to explain yourself in away that sounds like you're simply not doing something they expect than it would be to explain that there is something about you that they wouldn't expect, does that make sense? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A person That is real Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 Thanks to both of you and any future people that will answer this question its been on my mind a lot lately and you are very helpful 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mistfallen Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 You don't always have to come out to anybody if you don't want to or feel uncomfortable doing so. I've known I'm ace for over a year now and have never felt obligated to tell my parents because I know for a fact they won't like me being anything other than ""normal."" Do what feels right for you! Me, I've told some friends, never really felt the need to mention it with others, and casually mentioned it on social media posts- basically I just pick and choose who I tell. Feel free to do the same- there's no need to shout it from the rooftop. If I were you I'd start with a friend who you trust and feel safe with, maybe LGBT+ if you have one. I was a little worried about telling people at first and actually ended up meeting another asexual person who is now my very good friend, so you never know what could happen! 43 minutes ago, yourcaptaiin said: For other questions / negative reactions, I'd direct them towards whatisasexuality.com and its sister site asexualityarchive.com. I completely agree with this. Online resources can be super helpful in answering questions from skeptical people. It's kind of a way to show that asexuality is a legit thing and not just something you made up, which is the reaction of a lot of people since it's not as out there as other sexualities are. Good luck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trooper17t Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 On 9/26/2017 at 0:23 AM, yourcaptaiin said: If they take it poorly and think it's any sort of disorder, direct them towards the DSM-V. For other questions / negative reactions, I'd direct them towards whatisasexuality.com and its sister site asexualityarchive.com. For clarification on this statement see here: http://www.asexualityarchive.com/asexuality-in-the-dsm-5/. Basically asexuality is NOT a mental disorder, and is specifically addressed in the DSM-V. The DSM-V has a lot of other issues with medicalizing identity, but at least here it gets it right. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgetown Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 You're best off never coming out. It won't help you in life. I regret coming out, but I must accept my decision and live openly asexual. Socially, faking it as gay or straight is actually way more fun, even if you never end up in a relationship. And you may get turned onto sex or find a compromise if you end up in a relationship. Many open asexuals are lost souls and have significantly reduced social and dating prospects. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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