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I have questions.


I'm like this

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So I recently figured out (with my lesbian best friend by my side) that I'm either demisexual or asexual. I have come out to one other person, but my family is very religious and I don't know if they would accept me. I'm proud that I figured it out and that I'm now part of the LGBTQ+ community, but I still don't know if I'm demi or if I'm ace, and I don't know how I'm going to come out openly as either one, or if I am. I'm really nervous and scared, but I know that I have people by my side if I need help, just the only demisexual person I know is an upperclassmen (I know her fairly well) but I almost never get to talk to her. I really want advice. I also would like to go to LGBTQ+ pride marches with my friends, but I'm a 13 year old girl with strict, conservatively Christian parents, but I'm also passionate about my Christianity as well. If my parents accept that I'm ace/demi, (which I need help figuring out) I doubt that they will let me go to pride-related activities. Help?

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Hello, and welcome! :cake:

 

You don't have to decide or try to figure out whether you are demisexual or not, right now. If you haven't had a relationship before, it's difficult to try to determine this, anyway, like trying to decide your future and which career you'd like, without even trying it out, first.

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oh, wow. that's tough.  but no need to worry now hun. you'll get to go to the events when you're older. my mom still doesn't want to accept that I'm demi or a and she's liberal lol

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Hi @I'm like this 

you have every rigth to feel like you do, but just hang in there for a moment. As I have said before: don't get a tattoo yet, because the label migth change a bit. ...or at least the need to use a label. 

I would not let my daugther go to a parade, a school dance, a movie... if the idea of the parade is to show your sexuality. Ok to go to a school dance to have fun, to dance, to talk but dont go to be part in something which is about sex. Perhaps you could go to support and be part of the LGBTQ+ in other ways? Parades sometimes end up looking like a sex show in costumes, where rainbow dressed people bump and grind genitals. 

 

My advice is: 

1. Look, feel and accept who you are now, since you sound quite ok.

2. Accept that the level/importance of your outter/inner sexuality could change a bit during the next few years of your life, due to hormones racing around in your body and mind. 

3. Hardcore religion is a bitch and not easy to work around. It ends up in strict rules and a lot of "things must be done this way because, (insert religious reason that only is reason to the religious).

4. Most families do stupid things out of love. Try to see past the stupidity and feel the love.

5. Give it time.

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@MrDane Thanks so much for the reply! of course when I say "pride-related parades and marches" I mean I would go to them to show my curiosity and support of people in the LGBTQIA+ community, as I'm not completely sure in my sexuality yet though. Thank you again, it's great advice!

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Don't rush into a label, but at the same time don't be afraid to take one temporarily. If you're ace now you can call yourself that, if you turn out to be Demi you can just change it later. There's no need to announce it to the world, it's just about putting a word to how you feel so that it can be understood better. 

With Pride, you don't have to go to pride to show your support. Other ways are available. If your parents don't want you going to events based on sexuality, it's probably best to do something else anyway, and then go to Pride later in life.

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