Puberty/hormones and being ace?

[prettydarncoolperson]

Hey, all!

 

I've been trying to figure out my orientation for a little while now and have come to the conclusion that I fall under the asexual umbrella. Whoo-hoo! I was confused for a while because I thought I was straight even though I had no interest in sex, and recently found out that asexual people can have kinks or fetishes. Thanks for everyone's help being awesome and giving me info on this site!

 

However, I've got one more thing I'm trying to figure out. As far as I can tell, I'm a hetero-romantic asexual, who experiences sensual but not sexual attraction. However, here's the kicker, and I'm wondering if other aces have experienced this too. Being a hetero male, I've been interested in women since a young age, but in my early teens definitely went through puberty and hormone changes and found myself much more attracted to the women figure, specifically parts of the body that are usually associated with sexual attraction, such the butt and the chest. (I mean no disrespect towards any women, all I'm saying is that's what I'm naturally attracted to). I'm not sure if these were just aesthetic attractions because A) they're typically associated with sexual attitudes, and B) this came as a part of puberty.

 

I do like things like cuddling and kissing, but I've never been interested in sex itself. However, have any other aces recalled going through puberty and suddenly being much more attracted to the opposite sex (or same, if you're LGBT+)? Or am I possibly not ace?

 

Thanks a ton for all the help. (Also, does anyone know if there's a trick to uploading a profile picture? I can't get it to work no matter what I do. )

 

 

[EggplantWitch]

If you don't experience sexual attraction now, then you're asexual. It's as easy as that! Maybe you weren't back then. Maybe you were. It doesn't affect how you label yourself in the present. I admit I never went through anything like what you're describing when I was a teenager (in fact, it was the complete lack of any interest romantic or sexual during my teens that set me on the course to self-discovery aged 16) but everyone's different.

[SilentRose]

I actually really know what you mean. During my teenage puberty years I had a period where I was suddenly turned on all the time (still not interested in sex, but would just Google pictures of cute guys 24/7) and because of that I assumed I was heterosexual..

It wasn't until I was older and my libido I guess took a breather that I realized I actually didn't experience sexual attraction at all. 

But I did like looking at more sexualized parts of the body too, like the butt, so don't feel weird...I think a lot of us have gone though a very similar thing. 

 

[Philip027]

Puberty had little effect on me other than deepening my voice, making me grow way too much hair everywhere, and forcing me to start using deodorant.  An overall annoyance, really.

 

I wouldn't say it caused me to feel more *attracted* to the opposite sex.  What it did do though, was cause me to feel a lot more annoyance and disconnect with those of my own sex, because they seemed a lot more changed overall by puberty... and in my eyes, not for the better.  As a result of this though I did tend to start associating more with, and feeling more connected to, the opposite sex.  That's something that hasn't really changed for me.

[Lichley]

It's perfectly natural to experience that, especially during puberty. Liking how certain parts look is more like having a type. As long as you do not desire sex with that person you are still asexual. It's like a girl appreciating a muscley guy with his shirt off. It doesn't make them sexual, it means they like a guy with muscles. Similarly, you like a girl with a more hourglass figure (or without no judgement). You're not desiring to have sex with her, you are just appreciating the parts.

TLDR : hormones suck, but you can still be ace 

[tarapayrach]

I think I did start seeing men and women as more aesthetically attractive when puberty hit, and while I always chalked up my appreciation for beautiful women to aesthetic attraction, I assumed I was heterosexual because I liked to look at beautiful men. So there are at least two of us!

[mAx1n3]

Hey, I'm pretty sure the others answered your question, but I did have certain attractions that developed over puberty. When I was around Thirteen I came to the conclusion that I was  aro/ace. As I went through puberty though I started thinking more and more abt boys (I'm heteromantic btw) so I started to think that I perhaps wasn't ace. When I was about fifteen however I realized that while I did still find some guys appealing, never once was it in a sexual way. It was always hey you are my bff but I want to get closer to you, but plz no sex cause that's gross kinda way. I started researching on things because everyone else seemed to be interested and I simply never had been. It took me a while to figure out o was asexual because I hadn't realized that sex and romance were two different things. Eventually though I did come to realize that I was still ace even if I was romantically attracted to ppl. But all that really matters is how you feel now. We all felt different going through puberty, but it's who we are now that makes us.

[cuppa차]

It's person to person, for example I feel like I lost some attraction over my adolescence. 

[Homer]

On 22.9.2017 at 10:14 AM, prettydarncoolperson said:

However, have any other aces recalled going through puberty and suddenly being much more attracted to the opposite sex (or same, if you're LGBT+)?

This is kind of the point of puberty. Your body is going through a lot of changes. Your sexual orientation developing/showing is one of them.

 

 

On 22.9.2017 at 2:03 PM, EggplantWitch said:

If you don't experience sexual attraction now, then you're asexual. It's as easy as that! Maybe you weren't back then. Maybe you were. It doesn't affect how you label yourself in the present.

I disagree.

 

Asexuality is defined as "not experiencing sexual attraction". Asexuality isn't something that just comes and goes. If you experience it, or if you ever have experienced it, you're not asexual. Simple as that. (That's one of the major misconceptions a few people on here seem to have about sexuals - they do not experience sexual attraction all the time.)

 

I am not eating meat as I type this - does that make me vegetarian? I don't think so..

 

It's also worth noting that asexuality isn't a spectrum. It's an absolute - you either don't experience sexual attraction/desire, at all, ever (i.e. you're asexual) or you do (i. e. you're sexual, no matter how often you experience it or which circumstances it requires)

[Lichley]

23 hours ago, Homer said:

This is kind of the point of puberty. Your body is going through a lot of changes. Your sexual orientation developing/showing is one of them.

 

 

I disagree.

 

Asexuality is defined as "not experiencing sexual attraction". Asexuality isn't something that just comes and goes. If you experience it, or if you ever have experienced it, you're not asexual. Simple as that. (That's one of the major misconceptions a few people on here seem to have about sexuals - they do not experience sexual attraction all the time.)

 

I am not eating meat as I type this - does that make me vegetarian? I don't think so..

 

It's also worth noting that asexuality isn't a spectrum. It's an absolute - you either don't experience sexual attraction/desire, at all, ever (i.e. you're asexual) or you do (i. e. you're sexual, no matter how often you experience it or which circumstances it requires)

I think they meant that if you haven't experienced sexual attraction up to this point then you can call yourself asexual, rather than just how they currently felt.

[Homer]

I'm of the opinion that it's utterly useless to slap a label on your forehead before puberty actually hits.