Jump to content

Perhaps I'm Gray-A?


oceanfire

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone, I'm new here, and based on my previous post a couple of people suggested I could be Gray-Asexual.

I'm a 27 year old female, and never experienced sexual attraction until a few days ago, towards  a bisexual woman. It was very intense, and whenever I see her I feel it. She is not interested in me. I guess my dilemma is deep down I would

like to be in a relationship involving sex (but only if I am sexually attracted to the other person).  I just don't know who I can date, because if I date another Asexual, neither of us will be attracted to  one another.  I don't know if I should explore dating other women and see if feelings of attraction develop...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey I'm new to this whole concept of asexuality aswell but from what I've gathered an Asexual can be in a romantic relationship and have sexual fantasies without carrying any of them out and still be Asexual. Again, Im not too familiar with this topic

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! Just remember that many aces are alloromantic (experience romantic attraction) and would be perfectly happy to be in a romantic relationship with someone. Some aces are also what we call sex-positive, which basically means that they either like sex or would do it in general for a variety of reasons. Anyway, here's some cake!

%20138280-49fdab4f7bf207b3cc31f72186c86b

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear @oceanfire If you explore these forums, and continue reading, I am sure you will find some similar stories and people to connect with. I am quite new but really when you finally land here you just want the validation that you fit somewhere. And it is quite possible it is here. I feel like finally there are people I can relate to, to chat to, without the uncomfortable aspects of sex sex sex all the time time time. When you have a conversation, it can be about what you feel, where you fit, but it is not threatening because it is below that threshold of sex talk that many here can accept and feel comfortable talking about. 

 

Keep reading.

Link to post
Share on other sites

That sounds pretty gray to me :P

 

Welcome! Hope AVEN can be a good resource for you!!!

 

I am asexual so I've never dated with sex being something I want, but perhaps if you can figure out what it is about this woman that you found enticing, you can seek out others similar to her that might requite these feelings :) In the mean time, I hope this community can support ya!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks all for your replies! Yeah the attraction disappeared after a few days haha. Yeah I am glad I am on this site with others who understand. Have some cake!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Suddenlyshorty

As someone who considers themselves a gray-ace, you can definitely be attracted to to another asexual/gray ace but there just may not be enough sex drive between the two of you to physically act on it. I've got a lot (A LOT) of feels, sometimes sexual even but I don't ever hardly want to act on them. We can still catch feels and still be very asexual in my opinion. 

 

Also hi, first post :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
weijiangling

Basically what @Suddenlyshorty said (and hi, welcome to both of you!). I have no shortage of romantic feelings to go around, occasionally something might take on a sexual flavor, but I'm just as happy not doing anything with that if it happens. Even if that kind of mood strikes, I'm usually satisfied by a make-out session and don't really want anything beyond that. I consider myself grey-ace too.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/19/2017 at 2:05 PM, oceanfire said:

Hey everyone, I'm new here, and based on my previous post a couple of people suggested I could be Gray-Asexual.

I'm a 27 year old female, and never experienced sexual attraction until a few days ago, towards  a bisexual woman. It was very intense, and whenever I see her I feel it. She is not interested in me. I guess my dilemma is deep down I would

like to be in a relationship involving sex (but only if I am sexually attracted to the other person).  I just don't know who I can date, because if I date another Asexual, neither of us will be attracted to  one another.  I don't know if I should explore dating other women and see if feelings of attraction develop...

Hi! I just found out very recently a similar thing about myself. I'm 25/F and dating a straight man...and I now understand where sexuals are coming from, although this is the only time I've ever experienced it. I'm thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him constantly, and I'm like, WTF, is this how most people feel by the time they hit high school?? It's kind of terrifying but I love it and I definitely feel like some kind of psycho (which I've seen sexuals as for years LOL). I've had zero interest in having actual sex before, and the emotional connection is definitely key so I feel confident saying I'm demisexual now. 

 

As for your situation, I say yes, you should explore dating other women if it's something you're comfortable with :).

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...