Am I considered Asexual?

[chritikal]

Hello everyone,

I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm still not 100% sure what my sexuality and I often get asked if I have any crushes or am with anyone. Whenever I get asked these questions I tell people no because in my mind this is the honest answer. I've never been attracted to or crushed on anyone. In middle school, my friends would ask me if I thought this one guy was hot and I would say yes, but really I wasn't attracted to him at all. When I think and as myself if I'm asexual I often think maybe I haven't met the right person or something. But after 16 years and not every being sexually attracted to anyone I've been thinking about asexuality a lot. Then I begin thinking how my parents would react if I told them. All in all, am I really asexual and any tips for anyone that thinks asexuality is just a phase?

Thank you all!

[TopHatCat]

Hello and welcome to AVEN!

It's funny how similar everyone's stories of self discovery are, your description sounds textbook ace to me. Naturally, only you can judge how you feel and decide how you want to identify.

 

Labels serve a few purposes-one is to feel like you're part of a community if you feel isolated by your experiences, and it's a perfectly legitimate reason to label yourself. The main reason they exist is to help you communicate with other people about your feelings/experiences. Sometimes people understand/respect the "definition" of a label better than the term itself.

 

 My parents understand and respect me when I tell them something like "I'm not interested in dating" should the topic come up in conversation. If I used the label then they might think it's a phase I picked up from the internet. All but one of my siblings are completely chill about different kinds of sexual orientations, so I told the ones that are respectful that I'm ace and they didn't care.

[Star Bit]

Crushes have nothing to do with Asexuality. Asexuality is about not desiring sexual activity with anyone. Not crushing/desiring a relationship with anyone is called Aromantic. Shorthand for being both is Aro Ace. But most have their sexuality emerge as late as 17, a minority as far as 20, so you could call things by now, you could not. Crush wise, there's no real limit; some get their first crush at 18. I assume you don't desire to make out/foreplay? If you do however, you could end up being a sexual person with responsive sexual desire like half the population. If you've never masturbated you could end up being sexual after that as well.

[Guest]

46 minutes ago, Star Bit said:

. But most have their sexuality emerge as late as 17, a minority as far as 20,

My sexuality didn't emerge until I was 28 haha, so it can be very late for some people!

[clairevoyant]

I'm honestly so glad I read this! Your story is the exact same as mine - I'm 17 and in high school and honestly I questioned myself and my sexuality a little bit too. I've never really been the crush type, and when my friends ask me who I like I say no one because it's the honest answer - and really, what's so weird about not liking anyone? But sometimes it was the responses I got that made me question whether or not I was 'normal.' Discovering the term Asexual and finally identifying as such was so liberating! I definitely recommend researching until your eyeballs fall out of your head. I found multitudes of articles and forums that gave me a lot of insight into the ace community and the variety of people within it.

In regards to your parents, literally not 15 minutes ago I read an article that might just help you out if you do decide to tell them;

http://www.asexualityarchive.com/a-parents-guide-to-asexuality/

The bottom line is - you identify how you want to and how you feel you should. If deep down in your heart you know that you aren't a sexual person, then theres a bloody good chance that you're asexual. Simple as that x

I wish you all the best in your journey of self discovery! Thank you so much for sharing.

[Star Bit]

On 9/18/2017 at 1:23 AM, FictoVore. said:

My sexuality didn't emerge until I was 28 haha, so it can be very late for some people!

Yes. Perhaps I should be wording it as "Most have their sexuality emerge as late 17, a vast minority as far as 20, and a vaster minority past that age"