Shronk Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Hello all, I know some people might find this hard to read, so if it makes you uncomfortable please dont. Anyway I have just come to terms with my asexuality but I am still a little confused. I am not fully sex replused, having it does repluse me and watching it between a male and female makes me feel a little awkward. However I still watch porn, it doesnt make me feel anything but I still watch a lot of it. I also masturbate quite frequently, like min 3 times a week. Does this still make me ace? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 There is a difference between sexual attraction and sex drive. Asexuals can still have a libido, which means they can watch porn and masturbate. So yes, you can still be ace. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tarapayrach Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 You can masturbate and still be asexual. You can even enjoy having sex with another person and still be asexual. Asexuality is only a lack of sexual attraction to people. Everything else - sex drive, masturbation, being sex repulsed vs not being sex repulsed - varies individually. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 There are quite a few very horny asexuals around here Asexuals can have a libido like anyone else which often can drive them to seek sexual release through masturbation, but the difference with asexuals is they wouldn't seek out that sexual release with another person. They are much happier to just masturbate and deal with their libido that way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 If you need more confirmation and reassurance, here's a quote from the FAQ. Quote I masturbate/have sexual fantasies. What do you make of that? Most asexuals are physically capable of sex. Some masturbate and some do not. Since masturbation produces a pleasurable sensation, many asexuals choose to use it to take pleasure from their bodies. Some asexuals can only arouse themselves manually (by applying friction to sexual organs), while others can turn themselves on with thought or even outside stimulus, such as pornography or erotic literature. There is an important distinction between sexual and asexual people when it comes to masturbation: while some asexuals don't think about anything specifically sexual during masturbation, if they do think about other people or view pornography, these interpersonal interactions are only fantasy. If an asexual were actually given the opportunity to be sexual with the fantasized person(s), there would be no sexual attraction, or the attraction would be so low as to be completely ignorable. Some masturbating asexuals do not have a sex drive motivating them; they just do it because it's nice or to relieve stress. Other asexuals masturbate because they have a personal sex drive (libido) that they wish to take care of privately; they may experience arousal as a biological response to outside stimulus and wish to relieve themselves of it without a desire for partnered sex. Still more, some asexuals may be considered autosexual; they are sexually attracted to themselves and as such take sexual pleasure from their own bodies. The common factor is that all asexuals, masturbating or not, have little or no sexual attraction to other people. http://www.asexuality.org/?q=general.html#ex9 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Some aces do masturbate or watch porn, that is up to personal preference really. Each individual is pretty complex so to be brief, yes it is possible. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WinterWanderer Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 I'm ace and I also masturbate. It's perfectly okay. All that separates an ace from a sexual person is sexual attraction (or desire, or whatever you want to call it). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shronk Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Thank you everyone! Sexual Attraction is very hard to define. I thought watching porn would count. Learning about being ace is a very confusing at times 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BookWormBecky Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Yes of course it does, Asexuality is a sexuality, just because you have done these or that, does not change what you are. A prime example is this, I am Asexual and have no desire for sex, yet I'm in a relationship for ALMOST 4 years . Lets just give another example a homosexual person may have sex with the opposite gender but are still gay...see? Plus there was a study that stated alot of asexuals masturbated because....... SURPRISE you're human. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 36 minutes ago, Shronk said: ...Sexual Attraction is very hard to define. I thought watching porn would count. Learning about being ace is a very confusing at times Yes. Even I was confused about this, throughout my 20s, before asexual research was more available. So, I thought it meant I really was heterosexual, after all! Some sexual people are confused and uneducated about it, as well; it's partly the reason why some claim to asexuals, "You can't be asexual because you masturbate/watch porn." It's problematic when they spread this misinformation out to others. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shronk Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 29 minutes ago, BookWormBecky said: Plus there was a study that stated alot of asexuals masturbated because....... SURPRISE you're human. I love this! Yes its hard to believe but I am human It feels like I am going throught puberty again! I too have been in a relationship for 4 years 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BookWormBecky Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 It's your body, you have the right to figure it out and what you want to do with it FORGET labels. Wow thats great! I'm glad for you and hope its working out for you. As an Ace and the only one I know it was alittle confusing for me too (and still is!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alexshores Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 On 17/09/2017 at 6:16 PM, Shronk said: I am not fully sex replused, having it does repluse me and watching it between a male and female makes me feel a little awkward. However I still watch porn, it doesnt make me feel anything but I still watch a lot of it. I also masturbate quite frequently, like min 3 times a week. Does this still make me ace? This described how I feel almost exactly but I can't think of anything other than Ace that I could be. I've had boyfriends and girlfriends but thinking back over them all I genuinely can't think of a time when I was sexually attracted to the person. There was definitely romantic attraction there for a couple of them (the rest I was just trying to convince myself I was I guess). I masturbate quite a bit and I consider myself to have a couple of kinks, occasionally I watch porn but again, I can't think of a time that I ever felt sexual attraction to person. On 17/09/2017 at 6:30 PM, FictoVore. said: There are quite a few very horny asexuals around here Asexuals can have a libido like anyone else which often can drive them to seek sexual release through masturbation, but the difference with asexuals is they wouldn't seek out that sexual release with another person. They are much happier to just masturbate and deal with their libido that way. I think FictoVore has the best advice here really, it makes sense to me at least. Obviously they'll be people who don't even enjoy masturbation but for those of us that do, knock yourself out! In the end, Only you can know what you like 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shronk Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 9 hours ago, Alexshores said: This described how I feel almost exactly but I can't think of anything other than Ace that I could be. I've had boyfriends and girlfriends but thinking back over them all I genuinely can't think of a time when I was sexually attracted to the person. There was definitely romantic attraction there for a couple of them (the rest I was just trying to convince myself I was I guess). I masturbate quite a bit and I consider myself to have a couple of kinks, occasionally I watch porn but again, I can't think of a time that I ever felt sexual attraction to person. I think FictoVore has the best advice here really, it makes sense to me at least. Obviously they'll be people who don't even enjoy masturbation but for those of us that do, knock yourself out! In the end, Only you can know what you like 4 I also have kinks and on the very rare occasion enjoyed sex. I was trying to explain this to my boyfriend last night and he was just not really understanding. The best way I can put it to him is "When you look at someone, who is hot, you want to have sex with them". He will agree. So I said that doesn't happen with me, I can appreciate that they are hot and I can have sex with them, but my brain doesn't want to. It would rather be doing something else. I masturbate because I feel need to. I feel that I am ace, because I have just never had that attraction and that describes an ace person right? It's all very confusing! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alexshores Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 5 minutes ago, Shronk said: ... "When you look at someone, who is hot, you want to have sex with them". He will agree. So I said that doesn't happen with me, I can appreciate that they are hot and I can have sex with them, but my brain doesn't want to. It would rather be doing something else. I masturbate because I feel need to. I feel that I am ace, because I have just never had that attraction and that describes an ace person right? It's all very confusing! Yeah I can agree with that sentiment, I can appreciate attractiveness and aesthetic beauty but I can't honestly say that I then think "I would like to have sex with that person" Sometimes (though, rarely) I might even feel arousal in the company of a person who I find aesthetically beautiful, but again, I don't feel that I then want to have sex. I'd much rather just cuddle or something. As for masturbating because you feel you -need- to, I'm not sure if you meant that the way that I read it, but you shouldn't feel you -need- to masturbate to fit some kind of societal norm. you should masturbate only if you -want- to. I get where you're coming from with saying it's confusing though. I'm going through the same thing at the moment. I would still consider myself Ace because, I don't feel sexual attraction to people, but I do have an active libido which often leaves me wondering if maybe I'm not Ace and I've never 'met the right person' But. There is one final nail in that coffin (for me at least) in that, there have been plenty of times when me and a significant other have been nude together, both clearly aroused and romantically interested in each other and the opportunity to have sex has come about and I've either decided against having sex because I didn't want to, or, had sex and then felt uncomfortable during or immediately after. This has been the case, I would say, 9.5 times out of 10. Perhaps I am not Ace, I don't know, but right now all I know is that upon thinking about all the other interactions in my life, Ace seems to describe me better than any other. and if I'm ace, well, then I think from what you've described, you are too Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shronk Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 3 minutes ago, Alexshores said: There is one final nail in that coffin (for me at least) in that, there have been plenty of times when me and a significant other have been nude together, both clearly aroused and romantically interested in each other and the opportunity to have sex has come about and I've either decided against having sex because I didn't want to, or, had sex and then felt uncomfortable during or immediately after. This has been the case, I would say, 9.5 times out of 10. Perhaps I am not Ace, I don't know, but right now all I know is that upon thinking about all the other interactions in my life, Ace seems to describe me better than any other. and if I'm ace, well, then I think from what you've described, you are too You have the same issue as me, my friend. I too just don't wanna have sex even if my body is yanno "willing to" but my heads like "No thanks let's cuddle". Like you, if I do have sex I also feel uncomfortable. I want to scrub my skin off after! Bit dramatic I know I also have felt arousal around someone but still don't want to have sex with them. Finding out that I am ace have answered some many questions I had about myself and I felt that something clicked in me when I was reading about asexuality. Me and you are very similar, so if you think you're ace, and I think I'm ace then maybe we are ace! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alexshores Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 2 minutes ago, Shronk said: You have the same issue as me, my friend ... so if you think you're ace, and I think I'm ace then maybe we are ace! More like, Am-ACE-ing Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shronk Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 3 minutes ago, Alexshores said: More like, Am-ACE-ing I love it! I am going to use that from now on! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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