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Long list of lovers vs. asexuality


Moonshinee

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Hi.
New here, frustrated as well.
I have a bf for 6 months now. He's my fourth boyfiend, and 11th sexual partner. I have never felt sexual desire, just sensual attraction to people. I always had crushes on people, mostly boys / men. 
My current relationship is the most serious of all of them. I have never had someone as close to me, and someone, to whom I can be as honest as to him.
But... This moment in my life is also that moment when I start to understand my (a)sexuality. 
He tries to understand me, but can't understand why I had so many sexual partners if I don't feel lust or sex need. He also hardly believe me when I say that I never felt sexual way, and was looking for closeness, but in the most socially accepted way, not understand myself then.
He knows I'm here, he also ask me to find any cases similar to my story.
Please, if you know what I'm talking about, if you have similar experience, or just read about it and can find a source, share it with me. I will be grateful.
 

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Hey, Hi and welcome  :cake:

 

I know exactly what you're talking about.:D But I'm not sure I can offer a solution.:mellow: I used to pick up casual partners because it was what my peer group was doing. But then I would avoid having sex with them, They'd come back to my place and  I'd just drink a bit, talk, make excuses and order them a cab. How messed up is that? All I wanted was some closeness.

So maybe the fact you've had a few partners is about just being like your friends and going through the actions.

 

It sounds like you have a special and important partner now. Sounds like they are beginning to understand and you can build on it. Looking good this time maybe?

 

It would be good to show him the hundreds of similar examples on these pages so he sees that you're not weird! And asexuality is valid.

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Thank you!
Solution is something that has to be found by me and my boyfriend. At this moment we are in the point when thinking seriously about visiting sexologist together.
I'm only looking for life stories with similarities to mine story.
What's more, and I didn't mention it in first post, we had sex. And in the beginning of our relationship I was somewhat wild. Not because desire, but, idk. for not losing him, or to show him my affection, or just to fit into social labels, or to be close, or with hope to finally feel something different about sex... or maybe bit of all above. And now he's suffering, feeling cheated, And I suffer because of his suffering  and weakened trust.
Yeah, he's special for me, and very important. I'm generally too shy to be active on forums, I prefer reading than writing, but when he ask me to find other stories like mine I didn't hesitate.

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