Samst3r Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 I tried to tell my cousin that maybe I'm asexual. She said I couldn't be only because I'm 15 and that not everyone is the same all our hormones work differently. I proceeded to tell her that I just wasn't sexual attracted towards any gender and she said that it's normal. And again I started to question my orientation once more. So does it have to do with hormones? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yatogami Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 It can and can't. It is best to get a clean bill of health though. If you havnt hit puberty yet. It is possible to be a late blooming sexual. If you have and feel nothing, you can be asexual. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Most people start feeling those sorts of things around thirteen or fourteen, but it's not unheard of for people to suddenly start being attracted to other people at like eighteen. So the 'late bloomer' idea is one you're going to get hit with until you're well into your twenties, but you don't have to let it bother you. You can identify as asexual NOW because NOW you don't have sexual feelings, and then if that changes later you can go 'well, turns out I'm actually ___!'. So long as you don't pigeon-hole yourself and try to force yourself to remain something or some way that's damaging your life, you should be fine. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samst3r Posted September 16, 2017 Author Share Posted September 16, 2017 Thank you, you have helped me so much Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Well, she's actually right. Most have their sexuality emerge as late as 17, a minority as far as 20. And a majority of females rarely if never experience sexual attraction (it's primarily a male experience) and need sexual arousal or foreplay in order to trigger their desire for sex every time, so if you've never masturbated or had foreplay you could end up being a normal sexual female with responsive sexual desire. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerdyByNature Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Don't let what others have to say get you down. I remember when I was in middle and high school, I used to force myself to fool around with partners because that is just what people do. I didn't realize I was asexual until my mid-20s. If you can skip all that, then good for you. It has been mentioned in earlier posts to not pigeon hole yourself. If you feel asexual now, then you are asexual. It may change in the future and it might not. Oh, the joys of your teenage years! Just know that everything evens out in your 20s and you will eventually figure yourself out. Best of luck to you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samst3r Posted September 16, 2017 Author Share Posted September 16, 2017 No, I've have never had an desire to do so and masturbation makes me really uncomfortable :/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samst3r Posted September 16, 2017 Author Share Posted September 16, 2017 Thank you NerdyByNature means a lot to me you're very kind Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 You have no association to things down there so things are likely simply not linked up yet. This is a real thing, so I don't support what @NerdyByNature said in this situation because there is a real and likely reason for the impairment of your sexuality. Alot of sexual people find genitals and the act of sex ugly, but they know the pleasure it gives them and that overrides things. Since you've never had it there's nothing to override this yet. You can also be desensatized to such things once you get enough exposure to it, so you thinking things are impossible or repulsive now may not be how you think of it later. Masturbation (or sex) isn't supposed to be pretty. You don't even have to go inside; most females need clitoris stimulation in order to orgasm. You can just rub up against something to stimulate it. Sitting in a chair in the right position works too. A full bladder actually helps stimulate things. The female body is especially complicated sexually so finding out how these things work can take some learning. The female brain has sensitive arousal breaks, so something as simple as literal cold feet or fear of someone walking in can prevent things from working. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samst3r Posted September 16, 2017 Author Share Posted September 16, 2017 Okay I understand I guess I just have to wait till I'm like 20 or something Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 No, not 20 (nececerily). Like I said, masturbation. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 I indeed have hormone problems, such as low testosterone, but even when I was temporarily on testosterone shots, nothing changed. They're more likely to influence libido, not attraction, but even that was completely unaffected for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Back when homosexuality was thought to be a mental illness, there were attempts to "cure' homosexuals through administering testosterone, but all it did was increase their libido levels (without affecting their same-sex attractions).If you don't find anyone sexually attractive, don't have have sexual thoughts/fantasies/desires for other people, there's an indication that you're not experiencing sexual attraction and may be asexual. Masturbation has more to do with libido, and regardless of whether you experience libido spontaneously or responsively, that has nothing to do with whether you're sexually attracted to anyone else. There is no need to try anything you don't want to. I would add that at your age, there is still a reasonable chance that you could start to develop sexual attraction at some point in the near future, but at the same time it's fine to use the labels that best describe you now. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 23 hours ago, Philip027 said: I indeed have hormone problems, such as low testosterone, but even when I was temporarily on testosterone shots, nothing changed. They're more likely to influence libido, not attraction, but even that was completely unaffected for me. Yah, but the OP has never masturbated before. Big difference. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 On 9/16/2017 at 2:13 PM, Samst3r said: No, I've have never had an desire to do so and masturbation makes me really uncomfortable :/ There are plenty of asexuals who have never masturbated, and their asexuality isn't invalidated by that. It's also true that many asexuals masturbate because they have a libido, but again that shows that masturbation doesn't entail a sexual orientation. Enjoying masturbating in itself isn't going to make you sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex and thus heterosexual, for example. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 Quote Yah, but the OP has never masturbated before. Big difference. So? Neither had I. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 It's still normal to not have any sexual development until the age of 18, as explained to me at the time more the 10 years ago at ages 18 and 21, I had a hormone developmental delay physically, physically not complete until 21, psychologically may never be complete. Only fragments of sexuality 25 and beyond, that's just feeling some attraction for guys and girls and developed homo-romanticism, often much younger boys. At it's earliest, I was about 7 years late on average, completely missed experiences during school and college. I had also a number of congenital and mild intersexuality birth defects before then, reconstruction of some parts of male genitalia. Those happened at the worst time at age 4, the time kids become more physically aware of themselves. Things like the testis, penis and muscle development has been missing or undeveloped right up to age 21. The sexuality has also had some developmental differences being a Tourettes-Asperger, but also various fetishes has become a mild and rare thing to experience with a mostly low to very low libido, Treatment for the Tourettes and a chronic depression and hypo-mania may have actually increased libido or any anxiety toward the socio-sexual world if any, a history of morbid obesity during teens has also been put toward a sexual development difference. Gender awareness and apathy of my own possibly has also contributed to some gender difference. Developing some sexuality at 18-19 may still be considered just on the cusp of normal sexual development, being without any physical sexual development is perhaps a good indicator sexuality is underdeveloped, the mind is often the last things to finish to sexually develop, but could be the first things to change during puberty. As long as there's no other physical problems/symptoms, its clear you're normal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 On 16/09/2017 at 7:03 PM, Star Bit said: Well, she's actually right. Most have their sexuality emerge as late as 17, a minority as far as 20. And a majority of females rarely if never experience sexual attraction (it's primarily a male experience) and need sexual arousal or foreplay in order to trigger their desire for sex every time, so if you've never masturbated or had foreplay you could end up being a normal sexual female with responsive sexual desire. Many, many guys I know now absolutely require foreplay first too, If true then my own libido response is that of a normal sexual female, which maybe correct, usually i can take the role play as i submissive gay guy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samst3r Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 So can I call myself an asexual? I do understand that I could change due to the fact that I'm still young Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Well, people still don't react well when you change what you identify as, so I'd more so go with "questioning asexual" so no one can call foul. And the reason for that still hast to massively do with the fact that you've never masturbated and not so much your age, eventhough that can still be a factor. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 On 9/17/2017 at 7:51 PM, Philip027 said: So? Neither had I. That's a major factor because things simply aren't linked up yet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 On 09/18/2017 at 5:44 PM, Samst3r said: So can I call myself an asexual? I do understand that I could change due to the fact that I'm still young that is up to you. infact that is so up to you that the administrators of this site prevent us from saying yes or no to that sort of question. I would consider it pretty unimportant until assumptions adversely affect your interactions with others. also: don't be afraid to explore yourself and your [a]sexuality, but also don't think there is some masturbation requirement or something. there is no ace council that will revoke your permit. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samst3r Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 Ha thanks so much @gisiebob and @Star Bit I'll just call myself questioning asexual Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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