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FireHose

Am I asexual/graysexual/whatever?

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FireHose

Hey :)

 

This is kind of complicated, but I'll try to explain my situation. Sometimes I have 'moods', in which I'm really horny, and then I watch porn(oral stuff, I find vaginas&assholes gross.) etc and masturbate. But when I'm not in one of those moods really anything related to sex disgusts me. And I'd never want to do anything sexual with another person. Never. However, I do like cuddling, holding hands, kissing etc. Can anybody help me find out what I am? Btw, I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong section. 

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Any

Hm, watching porn and masturbation does not contradict being ace. It is about attraction and desire, you might even want to have sex. I have sex (because my spouse desires it), and I am realy attracted romanticly to them, but I do not feel attracted sexually (at 90% of the time, this is why I label myself aceflux...). I like cuddling, holding hands etc. too, but I am very touch averse. I love romantic things though, moonlight, stars, candlelight dinner. So maybe you are asexual, but romantic?

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FireHose

Thanks for your reply. :)  About the masturbating etc, I don't do that anymore, probably should've said that. And whenever I got the urge to, I always tried to resist because I didn't want to, and afterwards I'd have regrets. Often I didn't succeed in resisting.. I recently got a gf and now I can resist, because it feels like cheating(I know it technically isn't).

29 minutes ago, N'y said:

you might even want to have sex. 

I don't. I'd rather die. 

 

You're probably right that I'm (some kind of) asexual. I'm definitely romantic. I've fallen in love before and I'm in love right now. As I mentioned before, I have a gf, but I would never have any sexual interactions with her, blegh. (Unless kissing counts as sexual). I'm defenitely attracted to her, but not in a sexual way. 

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Asexuality is considered a spectrum in it self sometimes, some would deny this and say, it is an orientation in itself. I do not really have found a sufficient definition, but I happen to think in spectra and prefer fluid fuzzy systems... I think it is completely valid to say you are ace. :) If you like kissing, fine. I do not. For me it is just... no... Orientation is just about what you usually would act like, so a gay man might have a gf as might a hetero girl... This flexibility is just part of human nature. I am greysexual but I allready had sex with masculine and feminine persons, though only a longlastion relationship to another nonbinary person (my spouse...) I happen to be polyromantic and I experimented a bit as a youth.

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F1shCake

I relate to this, masturbating and actually wanting to have sex with another person are two very different things, so you could be ace.

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FireHose

I'm becoming more and more certain that I'm asexual haha :P 

Thank you both for your replies :)

 

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Puck

Many aces masturbate as they may still have a libido even if they don't experience attraction or any want to have partnered sex and many who do masturbate do it utilizing porn. The line is usually drawn at, do you watch it because you are attracted to the person doing whatever action you are watching, or are just just into the action itself?

 

So, if it's not about the "who" and just the "what," and you have no other interest in partnered sex, that would suggest that you are asexual :)

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