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How Do Relationships Work?


yoshi2017

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How do relationships work? Because I envy that comfort and happiness my friends feel in a relationship. And I hate how many friendships have been ruined because a perfectly nice guy asks me out but I know I can't be in the relationship the same way he wants to be. I know I'll never feel a physical attraction - what then? How do I work towards creating a relationship? Because I envy that closeness and comfort, and I want it. I just know my view is going to be so different from the other person. 

 

I just don't know what to feel. I can't help but feel I'm going to be alone forever, and I'm never going to know what it's like to be in a close relationship with someone else.

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To me, they work a lot like a friendship. The only thing is, you want to be around the person ALL the time, make them happy every way you can. Spend the rest of your life doing things together, even the silly things like going to the car wash, or buying groceries. And when you have a disagreement, you try to work on it without invalidating each other's feelings. But I will admit that I worked under the philosophy of marry your best friend.  

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One of the problems with being a smaller sexual minority is that WE ARE SO FEW.

 

Possibilities include finding a really progressive guy that respects your orientation enough to find an outlet (I don't mean to be crass, but one does not necessarily need another person for sexual release), finding a compromise is which you do engage in occasional sexual acts so long as you can handle it (and aren't emotionally hurt from it), and finding an asexual guy.

 

Online relationships are really difficult to sustain, but they're are the most likely if you're trying to find an ace guy. There are websites where you can track them down, but another method that might help is planning ace meet-ups and facilitating ace awareness in LGBT clubs (assuming you're a student). This will help you find more ace people in your area as well as find ones closer to your age (AND advance the ace agenda, mwahaha). AVEN isn't supposed to be a dating website, but there's definitely a lot of opportunity on here should you require it and find an online relationship manageable.

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