[NSFW] Am I actually graysexual, or is there something wrong with me? Or is this normal?

[Was here]

I admit I have no experience with anything related to sex or romance, but I'l be stupid and post this anyway. 

 

So I know I'm sexually attracted to guys, and that I have pretty bad genital dysphoria sometimes. I have sexual fantasies a lot too. But sometimes, I feel like I don't need sex. Like right now I can't even relate to sexual people that much. I think,"sure, it'd be nice if i could [have a penis and try things with it] try having sex with a real person, but I don't need that. All I need is my lower parts to be different and I could just masturbate." But it's kind of weird to not be asexual and not feel like sex is a necessity. 

 

Basically, i can go from,"I need a dick and to have sex or masturbate right now" to "it'd be nice if I had different parts and could do things with it, but oh well". most of the time i just feel like i need different parts and to masturbate with them rather than have sex using them.

 

Is there something wrong with me? Am I just desperate? Am I not as sexual as I thought? Am I just a sexual person with different standards? Is it just that I have no experience and can't relate to people that easily when it comes to sexuality? Could it be dysphoria suppressing my sexuality?

 

All this is the same for me with romance too. It's complicated, but I think I've only had a crush on one person who I can't even be with. I go from being obsessed with them I ( and I've had bad experiences with this person. I get very sad and unmotivated to do anything when I think about him because I've realized I can't even be friends with him anymore because it's too painful for me.) to forgetting about them and being able to move on.

 

EDIT:I guess I can't accept that I'm like this because I got in an argument with someone who said that you can't be allosexual and not have sex as a necessity.

[Guest]

I am sexual (though I identify as 'in a foggy grey area' but definitely not asexual) and I haven't had sex since 2011, have never once enjoyed sex when I have physically had it in the past, and don't mind if I never have it physically again, even though I do desire certain sexual activities (and fantasize about them) and know that under very certain circumstances with the right person I can desire and enjoy certain types of partnered sexual activity. I am an extreme example, but most sexuals only want sex sometimes haha.. it's certainly not something people want all the time, or even every day of the week :3

[Was here]

I've realized how silly this is and that it doesn't matter, and that I don't have to be so specific about my sexuality. I just get anxious like that. I read something posted here saying that no one needs to have sex if they don't want to, regardless of their orientation, and it made me feel a bit better I guess. I get overwhelmed over stupid things. I shouldn't have posted what I said in whatever thread, I was misunderstood and shouldn't have stated a controversial opinion. I don't know how to put into words right now that I think it might have to do with emotional pain or something else like dysphoria or anything. I should probably just stop caring, because I'm me and no one should tell me otherwise *shrugs*.

[Star Bit]

Just wanna point out that bisexuals can identify as such and never been with both genders. Activity and desire are different, so the only requirement for being a sexual person is wanting sexual activity with others; going as far as needing it isn't a requirement. There are sexual people who are fine being single; to them sex isn't a necesety either. They'd probably like it but they don't need it.