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Lavinski92

Am I Demi??

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Lavinski92   
Lavinski92

Hello everyone!

As you guys probably know by now, I'm quite confused at the moment.

I hadn't heard about asexuality before the start of 2016, but something clicked for me but I'm still not sure because I'm 24 and have had sex with my partners before.

I have thought a lot about it, and have talked with friends and family, but it still confuses me. As I've said to them, even though I have had sex, it has only been interesting like 5% of the time, and with the rest it was just something that needed to end at some point, because it was very boring.

I litterally told a boyfriend that I was not attracted to him, and I didn't know why. At some point in our relationship I got angry and told him to stop touching me, and it was a very physical reaction I had, it was like my body said stop and not my mind.

I think I might be demi, because with my last boyfriend I wanted to do these things with him, and it didn't bore me.

I've seen porn, it disgusts me and I don't find it interesting at all. But I've had sex and it was fun? My parents told me that it could be a phase, and that it was normal for women to loose the want to sex the longer the periods of "no-sex" was.

But I don't know... What do you guys think? I'm at a loss here.

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LeDeer   
LeDeer

Being demisexual means you only feel sexual attraction after you've estabilished a strong bond with someone. I can't tell if it applies to you, since only you can know exactly what you feel and decide which label to use, if any, but from what you said I think you may be somewhere in the gray area: sometimes you feel sexual attraction and other times you don't (nothing wrong with it of course). Maybe this could help you figure out what fits you best http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/?tab=comments#comment-1061345333

 

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TheAP   
TheAP

Moved from Questions about Asexuality to The Grey Area.

 

TheAP

Questions about Asexuality co-mod

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roland.o   
roland.o

Hello and welcome to the AVEN forums, Lavinsky92. Have some cake :cake: :-)

 

Eventually, it's up to you to decide which labels (if any) best describe your feelings. 5% sounds more like gray(a)sexual than "just a phase" to me. Demisexuality falls under the gray umbrella, yes.

 

Those 5% of the time, and/or with your last boyfriend... did you desire it, or was it just nice/ok, but you wouldn't have missed it if it hadn't happened? The latter might be an indicator for a darker shade of gray.

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