Tirisilex

Posting on facebook wrong?

Recommended Posts

Tirisilex   
Tirisilex

I posted on facebook the other day and told everyone on my list that I am Asexual. My Mom saw it and she was all upset. She was like "You dont post personal things up on facebook like that." She said "It's nothing people need to know." I'm like so what I should be ashamed of it? beside for me facebook is all about sharing just because she doesnt post personal info doesnt mean that I cannot. So she pestered me and told me not to do it again. I of course am not gonna listen. If I want to post personal info about myself on facebook I have every right to. Besides I'm 44 years old I can take care of my self. I dont need my mom to tell me what i can and cant do

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mink_Seragaki   
Mink_Seragaki

Facebook is actually a really good medium for coming out.  It reaches a lot of people, but it also offers some form of safety since there's less threat of physical violence, at least immediately.

 

Besides, as you said it, you're an adult and can take care of yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
threequarters   
threequarters

I came out on Facebook. My dad was wary about it, but that's because he doesn't really understand Facebook even though he (sparingly) uses it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Flower Boy   
Flower Boy

There's absolutely nothing wrong with coming out on facebook.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fioryn   
Fioryn

Some people don't like being open about their lives on Facebook. My parents use it only to network with colleagues, or to post pictures from their vacations. They don't post personal things, especially if not everyone would agree with it. Your mom might be worried that not everyone would accept your asexuality, or that they'll judge you for it. Either way, it's not her decision. I personally haven't shared my sexuality on social media, but I don't think it's wrong to. It helps create visibility.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TopHatCat   
TopHatCat

Hearing about sexual behavior (or apparently the lack of it, even though it's attraction and not behavior) really weirds out some older folk. My mom gets like that when she hears someone is gay, even though she's still able to be friends with said people. But it's an important part of who you are and makes complete sense to post on social media. It could also be something like Fioryn suggested above.

 

Also, YOU'RE 44. Do whatever the heck you want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet   
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

There isn't anything wrong with posting on Facebook.

You ARE 44 years of age, you can take care of yourself, as you stated.

It's true your mom may be worried about others not accepting you because your asexual, but at the end of the day, what you choose to post is your business.

With all due respect, if your mom doesn't like it, she can ignore your post or unfriend you if she doesn't like what you post.

2 minutes ago, TopHatCat said:

Also, YOU'RE 44. Do whatever the heck you want.

^^ THIS. 👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Techie   
Techie

I've identified myself on private Facebook groups but have never posted to my public timeline (yet). I am 55 and my family (sister and elderly mother) have no issues with my orientation so I doubt it would be an issue. And if it is... well (blank) them. I am too old to really care. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
deltaX   
deltaX

I would never consider posting about asexuality on facebook, but if that's what you wanted to do, I don't see anything wrong with that.  Some other people prefer to come out that why since it's less pressure than coming out in person and can reach a lot of people at once.  It's your facebook page, so it's up to you to decide how personal you want your posts to be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tirisilex   
Tirisilex

I mean I can understand about not posting personal stuff about other people. But If I want to post about myself there shouldn't be a problem. It's my choice and If I want to do it I'll do it. It's not like I'm breaking any laws or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NerotheReaper   
NerotheReaper

People most all kinds of things on Facebook, people post pregnancy announcements on there. Should they not be allowed to, since that is personal and that tells people they had unprotected sex? People also come out on Facebook too, I have friends who have come out as gay on Facebook. So why shouldn't you be allowed to post about your asexuality? You have every right to just like everyone else. 

 

It is your choice to post what you want, or be private that is the cool thing. Plus you are an adult, you can take care of yourself and make choices for yourself. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Chris Zulas   
Chris Zulas

what all of these people said yes, I rant on Facebook all the time tho now I do it more on Twitter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busrider   
Busrider
2 hours ago, Tirisilex said:

It's not like I'm breaking any laws or something.

just your neck...?

No clue. - I obviously haven't analyzed Facebook to death. - My state government recently ran an add campaign to make some kids think about what they are posting. 

The sad fact is: If you ever need to get a(nother) decent job, it might be wise to treat Facebook and similar online stages connected to your name as part of the folder you are sending in to apply for that job, because a potential employer will turn anything your name ever rambled there against you. + "The Internet tends to forget nothing".

 

Personally I am very reluctant to start using Facebook and similar. It is easier to appear prim and proper when people can't dig out soul stripteases online. 

YMMV. There is no right and no wrong, there are only more or less tolerant societies and I don't know the one you are living in.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Remmirath   
Remmirath

One certainly should not post anything on Facebook that one would not be comfortable with everybody they know (and some people they don't) knowing, so to a certain extent I agree that private things are best left safely off of it... but on the other hand, it's entirely up to the individual to determine what is considered "too private" and isn't, and you're clearly of an age where you don't need anybody else to tell you what to do or not do.

 

I don't think there's anything at all wrong with posting personal things on Facebook or anywhere else on the internet -- it's just that, due to the nature of the internet, it's safest to assume that nothing on the internet is private. Doubly so for any site where one uses one's real name. Given that you presumably didn't intend this to be private knowledge, I see no problem at all with posting it on Facebook. It could, I suppose, potentially upset people, but then so could essentially anything else you post, so there's not much use in worrying about that so long as what you're saying isn't inherently offensive (which this clearly isn't).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tirisilex   
Tirisilex

It's just like having friends over watching movies and how I have to sit and deal with friends making sexual comments as we watch movies. They have No problem letting me and others know that they have sexual appetites but If I say that I'm Asexual publicly it isn't appropriate ?? Where is the thinking in that? I spoke to my Sister in law today about this incident with my mother and she agrees. If I want to talk about my sexuality publicly then I have every right to do so. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tirisilex   
Tirisilex

I was talking to my friends about my Moms reaction to my coming out on facebook. And I was like.. What If I had posted on facebook a picture of a half naked gorgeous girl. Would that bother my Mom then? A picture like that is a statement in itself. It says "hey I am heterosexual and this is what I like." I have 2 friends who have posted many times pictures of half naked girls.. I've even seen my Mom share pics of muscle bound guys with their shirts off. She's got no problem sharing that and that is a statement in itself. Why are these pictures more acceptable but my sexuality isnt?  But GOD FORBID If I use words and say what I am as a person. I am upset that my Mom would think that for me coming out is even an inkling of a bad thing. She's being Hypocritical.. She's like "So what if your asexual it's not a big deal." if its not a big deal then why are you having a fuss about it? I really need to talk to her about this because I am really feeling discriminated with this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Techie   
Techie

To be perfectly blunt, you are 44 years old and an adult. As such you can tell her, as another adult, to shut up and mind her own business. I am 11 years older and I have been forced to tell my elderly mother to shut up. Granted it can be gut wrenching and the deer-in-the-headlights look quite stunning but there are times you need to do it. Mothers and fathers are perfectly capable of dishing out cr-p that you would NEVER take from anyone else. There are times you need to stand up and say enough. From my point of view, I didn't tell my parents to have sex in September 1961 and drag me into this world in June 1962. As such, I do not always buy into the premise that our parents deserve 100% deference in all things because they are our parents. Having children is a very selfish act on the part of adults. I am not aware of any person who ever begged to be conceived and born. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer   
Homer

It doesn't even matter if it's right or wrong in anyone's eyes. You made a decision, end of.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nanogretchen4   
nanogretchen4

It is totally appropriate to be entirely out of the closet if you choose. There are gay celebrities who have chosen to come out in a public statement. If you are not famous your sexual orientation is not as widely known as theirs, but by coming out on Facebook you did make the choice that you were okay with anyone who knows you at least potentially knowing about your sexual orientation. It was a brave choice, and a good one in my opinion. You are helping to raise awareness of asexuality, which benefits you and also benefits other members of the asexual community who don't currently feel confident enough to do the same. Who knows, your example may inspire other asexuals to come out, or it may help an asexual who has never heard of asexuality before to understand them self better. As for your mother, maybe she should stop and consider that your coming out is a done deal and can't be undone now. I don't know what she hopes to gain by forbidding something you've already done. I would just ignore her criticism and not discuss the issue with her any more if she doesn't bring it up. She may gradually come around if you give her time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
aeimquy159   
aeimquy159
On 9/10/2017 at 3:27 PM, Tirisilex said:

 

I posted on facebook the other day and told everyone on my list that I am Asexual. My Mom saw it and she was all upset. She was like "You dont post personal things up on facebook like that." She said "It's nothing people need to know."

 

I wonder if she would have said this if you posted that you were sexual. Do you think she would of had the same reaction? Seems less bout her concern over your privacy and more about her being worried about what other people think. Just my 0.36 Pesos.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pramana   
Pramana

I've posted about such matters on Facebook before, and will probably do so again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now