Victor Nicolai

What is your experience with your identity?

Recommended Posts

Victor Nicolai   
Victor Nicolai

Hey there. I'm new to this website, but I'm hoping some of you would be willing to help me out with a project I'm working on. 
I'm currently writing an article that I hope to get published some time, about asexuals and aromantics. It would be nice to get some more experience into it, though, so I'm wondering what YOUR experience with your identity (within the ace/aro spectrum) is. What label do you prefer (if any), and how do you experience your sexuality? 

 

It'll be in Norwegian, and sent to a Norwegian publisher, but please let me know if you want to be credited with your name (and if so, what name?) or if you want to be anonymous. If you don't say whether or not you'd want to be credited, I'll leave you as anonymous. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Caphyra   
Caphyra

Hi Victor. Do you have any examples of your previous work as a writer? I feel like what you are asking needs more information about who you are, and why you want to write this article. What brought you to this subject? What is the goal of the article? I understand if your work is in Norwegian, but I think some more context is needed if you are asking for someone's personal stories, many of which you can find just by browsing this website.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Chris Zulas   
Chris Zulas

For me, while it's a largely unusual experience, I've always been open about it, felt the need to be open about it and not hold myself back from bringing it up when it's relevant or if I have some comment to make that's not based wholly on my asexuality but rather relevant ("I'm asexual but I really like this adult art you made" "I'm not into that but glad for you" "I wish I could help you more here but I'm aromantic so IDK what to say" etc.) and I now wear a bracelet with asexual colors on it sent by a friend. I've always kind of known even as a kid that that was how I was always gonna be, and while to the vast majority of people I'd just say "I'm asexual, I don't wanna have sex or date though some asexuals do wanna date" I'd specifically identify as an autochorissexual (as in I enjoy fantasizing but have no interest in the real thing and enjoy porn and stuff like that) non-libidoist (I have no problem if I never masturbate in my life and though I've considered it don't really want to) asexual aromantic (no romantic interest) or maybe demiromantic (I might be romantically interested in somebody, though not sexually, if they were a very specific kind of person, in my case probably somebody female or androgynous making me demigyno or demiandroromantic if I am romantic at all). I do however experience aesthetic attraction and find pretty much everyone attractive, though especially women and androgynous people and have a number of what you might call aesthetic kinks or asexual kinks. People mostly either brush it off that I feel as I do or are cool with it or don't understand. Only one person as been hostile about it and he probably riots with tiki torches and is just generally a very bad guy. I consider my sexuality a good thing, it makes life easier and less stressful. I've only come in recent months or a year to fully take interest in the details of the sexuality and terms, though I've always known basically how I was and heard the term as a kid. You can use my name if you want, Chris Zulas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nothinbuttrouble   
nothinbuttrouble

Always knew I wasn't feeling the same things the people around me were where sex was concerned. Thought I could ignore it. Now, at 35, I have finally given up trying to be sexual. I always knew the "crushes" I had weren't the same as others'. But I thought they could be, they would be, they... no. They're called "squishes," apparently. I identify as a panromantic asexual. I wanted to say "gray-A," just to leave some wiggle room because I hate feeling trapped by anything, but I knew in my heart that it was a lie. But I'm obviously panromantic. Probably the reason I tried so hard to be sexual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zenzencat104   
Zenzencat104

I want to understand what this big deal sexuality is about, I have no clue, and also, some people treat asexuals like they're 'not humans' for whatever reason. I just use my philosophical knowledge to explain my argument and counter they'res. People are strange. They also somehow can't understand how people have different needs too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Victor Nicolai   
Victor Nicolai

@Caphyra Unfortunately, I don't have anything worth looking into when it comes to articles. This one is actually an assignment from the course I attend, so I'm a writer-in-learning (if that's even good English). The purpose of the assignment is to start getting my stuff out there to the public, even if it's a 'genre' I'm not too familiar with, and the reason I chose this subject was because it's something I see too little of in media and would love to educate the world more of. That being said, I do see your point, and of course I won't ask anyone to share more than they're comfortable with. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Caphyra   
Caphyra
17 hours ago, Victor Nicolai said:

@Caphyra Unfortunately, I don't have anything worth looking into when it comes to articles. This one is actually an assignment from the course I attend, so I'm a writer-in-learning (if that's even good English). The purpose of the assignment is to start getting my stuff out there to the public, even if it's a 'genre' I'm not too familiar with, and the reason I chose this subject was because it's something I see too little of in media and would love to educate the world more of. That being said, I do see your point, and of course I won't ask anyone to share more than they're comfortable with. 

Thanks for replying @Victor Nicolai. I am sure you have written something worthwhile in Norwegian. As a writer-in-training who sounds like you are passionate about educating others, then it won't be long before you are published. And that might even be self-published in a blog or other medium. I asked the question because it is important for the people who post here to feel safe and for those who reach out like you did to be sensitive to that. 

 

I wish you well with your project. When you are done I hope you will share it with the World Watch forum where the moderators collect information in many languages related to asexuality.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now