kittyblomu Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Well so as you guys know, I identify as demi-biromantic asexual. I am now sure of my sexual/romantic orientations, but I plan to reevaluate in 6 months or so to see if anything has changed. However, there's this new girl at my school. I don't have a crush on her, but I do appreciate what she looks like. She has soft, gentle facial features and greenish hazelish eyes? I don't really remember but in a nutshell she's quite attractive. I think I have a squish on her. I want to get to know her and be really good friends with her, and I want her to be really good friends with my friends, but I don't want to be in a relationship with her or anything. Plus I don't think she swings that way anyway so. What does this mean? I think this just means that I'm aesthetically attracted to a girl, is all. My sexuality hasn't changed, and neither has my romantic orientation, correct? Agh. And when I finally thought I had my orientations figured out, too. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 If you don't have fantasies or daydreaming thoughts about hugging, kissing, and being in a relationship with this girl, then, yes, that sounds like aesthetic attraction to me. Also, yes, it doesn't change or have anything to do with your sexual orientation or romantic attractions. Here are the definitions and differences between aesthetic, romantic and sexual attractions. https://lgbtq.unc.edu/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 14 minutes ago, sg06 said: If you don't have fantasies or daydreaming thoughts about hugging, kissing, and being in a relationship with this girl, then, yes, that sounds like aesthetic attraction to me. Also, yes, it doesn't change or have anything to do with your sexual orientation or romantic attractions. Here are the definitions and differences between aesthetic, romantic and sexual attractions. https://lgbtq.unc.edu/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation Ah I see! Thank you so much! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Apathetic Echidna Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 just to lend another voice in confirmation for you, yes it sounds like aesthetic attraction, and it changes nothing about your sexuality or romantic attraction. A pretty face who you would like to see is very common, hence why some people become popular for seemingly no reason beyond other people wanting to see them. The woman in the Mona Lisa painting has been dead a long time but people are still drawn to her face 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 I think of it this way: I can think someone is pretty just like I think a flower is pretty, I can think someone is cool in the same way as a super rad dragon. And with people it's even better, because I can really like their personality too! Like a favorite fictional protagonist. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Reluctant_Dragon Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 Aesthetic attraction is when you appreciate someone's looks. You don't want to have sex with them, and, you don't want date them. Just like how girls can say that other girls are pretty. What your feeling does sound like aesthetic attraction. Just make sure you don't want to bang her or date her. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 https://secondlina.deviantart.com/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 this might help http://life-of-an-asexual.tumblr.com/post/102762643654/desires-for-relations-based-on-types-of-attraction or maybe this. in the end, it's up for you to decide where you fit, but that doesn't mean it can't change later if something happens, just go with the label you feel most comfortable with. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 On 9/7/2017 at 7:40 PM, Apathetic Echidna said: just to lend another voice in confirmation for you, yes it sounds like aesthetic attraction, and it changes nothing about your sexuality or romantic attraction. A pretty face who you would like to see is very common, hence why some people become popular for seemingly no reason beyond other people wanting to see them. The woman in the Mona Lisa painting has been dead a long time but people are still drawn to her face I'm so sorry for the late response! I can't believe I just saw this now! Thank you so much for commenting! It means a lot and really helped me out! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 On 9/7/2017 at 8:14 PM, OldSoul said: I think of it this way: I can think someone is pretty just like I think a flower is pretty, I can think someone is cool in the same way as a super rad dragon. And with people it's even better, because I can really like their personality too! Like a favorite fictional protagonist. aaaaaa I apologize for the late response! But thank you so much for this! It really helped. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 On 9/10/2017 at 8:19 AM, The_Reluctant_Dragon said: Aesthetic attraction is when you appreciate someone's looks. You don't want to have sex with them, and, you don't want date them. Just like how girls can say that other girls are pretty. What your feeling does sound like aesthetic attraction. Just make sure you don't want to bang her or date her. Yep I don't. That was over a month ago, too, and a lot changes in a month, so now I no longer feel any attraction towards her and I actually don't like her at all... Thank you for this comment, and I'm so sorry for responding so late! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 On 9/10/2017 at 1:54 PM, Lichley said: https://secondlina.deviantart.com/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 this might help http://life-of-an-asexual.tumblr.com/post/102762643654/desires-for-relations-based-on-types-of-attraction or maybe this. in the end, it's up for you to decide where you fit, but that doesn't mean it can't change later if something happens, just go with the label you feel most comfortable with. Aaaa thank you so much! I'm so sorry for the late response! Your comment really helped me and I'm about to click on those links. ps: I see you everywhere bahahaha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 @kittyblomu Well, I am on here an awful lot Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Gnat (Natalie) Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 I would agree that that sounds like aesthetic attraction, but obviously you're the best judge of what you're feeling. To that end, I thought I would share the analogy that finally helped the idea click into place for me: If what you feel when you look at that person is no different than what you feel when you look at an amazing sunset or your favorite style of architecture, you're feeling aesthetic attraction. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted October 24, 2017 Author Share Posted October 24, 2017 13 hours ago, The Gnat (Natalie) said: I would agree that that sounds like aesthetic attraction, but obviously you're the best judge of what you're feeling. To that end, I thought I would share the analogy that finally helped the idea click into place for me: If what you feel when you look at that person is no different than what you feel when you look at an amazing sunset or your favorite style of architecture, you're feeling aesthetic attraction. That's a really good way to think about it. Thank you so much for your comment!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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