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coming out stories?


kittyblomu

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@nimbus Congratulations on having the courage to come out! Sorry your mom didn't understand, but maybe she'll come around later.

 

(By the way, I removed your duplicate posts.)

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9 minutes ago, TheAP said:

@nimbus Congratulations on having the courage to come out! Sorry your mom didn't understand, but maybe she'll come around later.

Thank you!

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I really love the story about how I came out to one of my brothers! Lemme tell you. I was with my cis-little brother, it was around his birthday so he was 11 or 12. We were wakling at the lake with our mom, aunt, uncle and cousin. It was so hot and sunny I hate this weather (yeah I really hate summer). I sat under a tree and asked my lil bro to join me, the other ones were like 20 meters in front of us. I started questioning him about someone we barely know that is trans, and my bro just said yeah if he feels better this way, then I'm happy for him, people should do whatever they want to be happy.  So this lead to this:

me: You know, I think I'm a boy.

bro, starring at me: I think I'm a boy too.

That was so fucking sweet! He didn't ask or question me about it, he just looked at me like hm yeah we're boys. 

 

(Now he forgot about this, I don't mind, I think it's too much to handle for him but it was very cute)

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I tried to tell some friends I was asexual. They took it as a joke and told me not to be stupid. Its really hard to admit in a world thats so obsessed with sex. I haven't mentioned it since.

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@Koma17 Awesomeee *-*

@nimbus I hope your mom will understand eventually. Am i the only one who hates/dislikes the sound of this? That we might change our mind or something? Like you know the "we might end up liking it"? For me, i know that sexuality can advance and it is fluid but getting that response everytime is just really annoying.

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(Part 2) Another coming out story of mine is something recent. I came out a few months ago to a friend named Melissa. An online friend who's in her late 30s. I also did to a few friends.

Anyway, Melissa and i had a conversation about sexual stuff, trying to discuss them.. even a few months ago. And guess what she said recently when we brought it up again.. "My boyfriend don't think you're asexual, he can read people just by looking at their photos" "maybe you're not sexually awakened yet" "or you haven't met the right person yet"... This sort of upset me because HECK why should i care. I already know of that possibility. I know she was only stating her opinion and her thoughts but, i feel like i was being forced on to be something/one else even though that might not be something she intended to make me feel or think. She said that i shouldn't make what her "boyfriend" said as an authority and i'd have to agree on that but saying that he can read people and such, it was a way to make me think that i'll eventually change. But i'm already trying to be open to that. Yeah, i have to admit that people can be sexually awakened after netflix and chill. But still.. When she said all of those to me, i felt a bit crushed. I wanted to not even use the word asexual and just use straight because it hurts a bit. I know it's just a label and there's nothing to fuss over but i just want to get older to actually really know my sexuality so that i don't get this pressure that maybe i'll change or something. It's annoying.

 

The second one is not necessarily coming out but i came out to this guy who's had a crush on me since elementary (he confessed after i didn't go to school anymore/on chat)

This guy is not good looking and we heard rumors about him picking boogers and eating it and stuff. We talked online a lot a few times back then. And this year, when he had a gf, he was calling me nicknames and stuff so i ignored him for 6 months.

This month, i was a guest model and walked on the runway. He saw those pictures on my post (disappears in 24 hrs) and messaged me saying he was still in love with me. (Nah. Never had a relationship with this guy. He's a complete turn off despite his sweet and fake flattery tricks) Anyway, i talked to him nicely and i was laughing through out the chat with the emojis. I was basically feeding his ego, i did not notice it clearly at the time since i was invested in the conv. Then i realized there were weird and strange messages he's sending me like "i kinda grew up" and at some point, he even told me "look mommy, i'm a grown little baby boy"

Basically, too much innuendos. This guy is the same guy who told me that there must be a way for me to feel sexual attraction (previous post in this forum)

So yeah, this guy suddenly told me he was gonna leave the country soon blah blah, he still hasn't hugged me yet blah. So he and i kinda ended up planning a meet up. Then we mentioned a few places then he was like "I'm just gonna say it. Can't you just visit my house?"...

That's when it weirded me out. I was like 0-0 Uhhh... That's sketchy but i think it's okay? (Ehemm... I didn't expect that i'd actually bump into someone who's like this but i didn't face that he was actually like that) so i agreed. Before those meet up conv started coming up, he asked me if i had or have any boyfriend, and i said no. Didn't want to lie. So yeah, when i agreed, he wanted a video call almost immediately. He was flirty through out the chat but i'm not giving into it but i was still in a vulnerable state. So i chatted up my online friend who's a guy, he knows me better than this fxckboy. He painted me a bigger picture of the situation and i was grateful to have finally realize that... The guy only wanted sex from me. The clues were all over the place =_= I felt like i was harassed. Growing up thinking that sex was only a "want" thing and not an "attraction" thing, it's hard to think that people have sexual attraction. I still have that until now. I don't think it's that common for women here to be interested in the D or sex. That's why i thought that sexual attraction didn't exist. To them, it's probably common sense, that's why they realized it even before they were taught that sexual attraction existed. Heck, they might've not been taught about that and still know it! Okay, when i realized that the guy wanted a sexual interaction and was going to take my body, i told him "nuuu" that i didn't want to video chat. I guess i really needed to be straight up serious because i was compelled to be nice and friendly. So he tried to call me, but i didn't pick it up LOL x) I was lucky. I didn't even plan to but knowing about his intentions clearly made me relieved and angry as well as disgusted. So i told this to my mom and told her his age. She was just like "yeah.. they're pretty hot".. I have no idea what she meant by this but i think she meant that they have huge and strong desires towards sex (our language's weird but i can make an assumption based on how she said it)..

And i asked her if she had any of those (sexual attraction).. She did not answer. She brought up a different topic then we went back to this topic again. She did mention that people had sex out of curiosity (as if that was their drive to have sex). And i'm just confused.. This makes me think that my mom might be asexual. She told me that there'll be lots of guys who are like this (i only knew them as "perverts".. What i didn't know was the chance to actually come across and talk to them 0-0) and i told my mom that "I'm actually not interested in those.. Like, to have sex" and she was just like "That's good 👍".. She meant it. Because i think she might feel the same way or that she didn't want me to be taken advantage of. I was massaging her and decided to tell her, that's how it came about. I wasn't nervous haha. My mom isn't interested in those anyway so..

Another one i told this fkboy story to was.. My other sister (told this to her before mom). We talked and stuff. And i asked her if she ever felt sexual attraction, she was just like "no, i don't"... Then i asked if she wanted to ever touch people in that way and she was just like "NOoo"... I asked why, then she said "because.. It's bad to think that way" and THIS again, confused me. Because what the f*ck?? Why is that bad?? Howww...

That's why i never thought sexual attraction existed because... women around me barely have any signs of being interested in men like "that".

When i guest modeled, the make up artist took away the lollipop from a guy's mouth and start licking it weird. And you know what.. I finally got what it meant. If i was the old me, i think it would be an innuendo but now, i think i really know what it is that she was doing =_= clearly.

Long story xD

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36 minutes ago, Cooper86 said:

I tried to tell some friends I was asexual. They took it as a joke and told me not to be stupid. Its really hard to admit in a world thats so obsessed with sex. I haven't mentioned it since.

Yeah.. It can be really annoying and discouraging. Eventually, there might be someone who's willing to listen. Even if there won't be. We're here for you, just similar to you :)

I wonder what their reaction would be like if you said it once again and told them that you really were serious. If they aren't okay with listening and being open about what you're going to be saying then, maybe later on, they might. And if they won't then that's okay too. We'll meet people like that one way or another whether it be sexuality or something else. If they can't support you, someone else will 👍

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23 minutes ago, Sera1001 said:

Yeah.. It can be really annoying and discouraging. Eventually, there might be someone who's willing to listen. Even if there won't be. We're here for you, just similar to you :)

I wonder what their reaction would be like if you said it once again and told them that you really were serious. If they aren't okay with listening and being open about what you're going to be saying then, maybe later on, they might. And if they won't then that's okay too. We'll meet people like that one way or another whether it be sexuality or something else. If they can't support you, someone else will 👍

Thank you! I wasn't aware of asexuality being a thing until the most recent years of my life. I think alot of people are still unaware of it. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So im really glad i found this place!

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1 minute ago, Cooper86 said:

Thank you! I wasn't aware of asexuality being a thing until the most recent years of my life. I think alot of people are still unaware of it. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So im really glad i found this place!

I think so too. When i first found this place.. It was alien to me because i thought i was straight xD when i thought i felt sexual attraction and found out my sister didn't, i was like "woah.. you don't feel it?? O.o" then i realized eventually that i confused it with arousal haha. I think people from where i'm from knows that not all people want it.. Or maybe that's just me 0-0

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2 minutes ago, Sera1001 said:

I think so too. When i first found this place.. It was alien to me because i thought i was straight xD when i thought i felt sexual attraction and found out my sister didn't, i was like "woah.. you don't feel it?? O.o" then i realized eventually that i confused it with arousal haha. I think people from where i'm from knows that not all people want it.. Or maybe that's just me 0-0

See... most people around me are crazy about even the idea of sex. Or at least act like they are. Ive never pretended to show big interest in it because ive just never felt that way.  Legit thought part of me was dead until I googled it and found out about asexuality haha 

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Just now, Cooper86 said:

See... most people around me are crazy about even the idea of sex. Or at least act like they are. Ive never pretended to show big interest in it because ive just never felt that way.  Legit thought part of me was dead until I googled it and found out about asexuality haha 

I haven't come across many people like that. Only on you guys' stories only tbh :/ also in the movies like i think it is very common in America to have those experiences, for example. I do think that guys who are like that are most likely perverts who wants to see people naked and that's it. I never felt that way either but now that i found out about that, i'm just... gonna slowly back away 0-0 Hahaha. Good thing that you found out that nothing about you was dead.

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When I was 12, my mother told me she was asexual. She is married twice, divorced once and has 4 kids. I didnt understand this at the time. She also told me she thought my grandmother was asexual, but being a Victorian, a woman had to marry or live in poverty back then. My gran died before I was born, so I couldn't ask her.

 

When I was in my mid 20s, I was getting a bit fedup of the grilling my friends/work mates/siblings were giving me about my lack of boyfriends. I'd made a weak go of it, but wasn't interested at all. At one point, the constant quizzing became intolerable, like it was all anyone ever asked me about:

 

Was I raped, was I abused, don't I feel like I want kids? But you're such a nice looking girl, why are you single? But you love children, don't you want one? You'll get broody one day etc etc. You know the drill.

 

My little sister in-particular became obsessed with figuring out if I was gay or maybe bi. This didn't float, as I like male aesthetics, and had male squishes, though all my close friends were female. My older sister was convinced I was straight, and hearing them argue about my orientation made my eyes roll into my skull. To me, it didnt matter. 

 

I consider myself genderfluid, and asexuality meant that the topic itself was actually pretty uninteresting. I could be girlish or tomboyish at whim, which threw people off.

 

Eventually, my friends were in a hot debate about men over lunch this Summer, and after asking me again who am I dating, I said I think I am asexual. They're teachers, and their reaction was to actually go and look up what was asexuality. I got no grief from them at all. They now dont ask me about dating, babies or romantic blahdeblah. But I do listen and show an interest in their tales, which I think they appreciate. I am still curious, as sometimes the antics of sexuals seem totally nuts and comical to me, but I never say that out loud!

 

I recently went back and asked my mother what she knew about asexuality, and she basically said 'nothing.' In the 80s, she had simply decided asexuality best described her and thought it was a made-up word she had assigned herself. She hated sex, touching, romance etc and simply had kids due to social expectations. I showed her AVEN and explained asexuality, but now she is in her 60s, she wasn't much interested or much bothered. She didn't quibble with me about it, and said as long as I'm happy supporting myself independently and living my life, it was all fine. I'm cheerful, confident and content in my own company, in my own home, with my pets and a good (if small) friend network.

 

My little sister was very abashed to hear I was asexual, and she too has stopped trying to set me up with men (or woman), and perhaps feels a little silly.  My older sister says she admires my independence, as she is stuck in a string of toxic relationships, but fears being alone with her 4 kids. 

 

Many work colleagues and a few family don't know, but I'm not that interested in telling them, as I get bored of explaining it. But if asked, I will outright just tell people, and let them make of it what they will and point them to wiki and AVEN.

 

 

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I've always been casual in telling people outside my family that I am asexual (it's an easy way to discern who I should and shouldn't continue a relationship with), but I spent a long time questioning whether or not I should tell my family. I ended up telling my dad I was asexual when I was 16 in an email. He told me that I might grow out of it or that I might change my mind, but he didn't seem to mind. At the time I thought I was aromantic, but it after a lot of questioning I determined I wasn't, but I never told him. A year later I dated a female and considered telling my family, but I was too afraid to since there has been some mild homophobic comments in my family. After my girlfriend and I broke up, I ended up telling my sister (after a few months) that I was asexual demipanromantic. I still hadn't told the rest of my family at this point, or even my friends about my romantic orientation. It wasn't until I was 18 that I told my friends while we were all together about my romantic orientation and they were super accepting. We also had an emotional conversation about sexuality and coming out since 2 of them are also LGBTQ+, so it was all around an accepting and safe environment. It wasn't until recently that I came out to the rest of my family. I was super nervous about it, but they accepted me (though they are still confused about asexuality). I still get some mildly acephobic comments that can mostly be attributed to lack of understanding of asexuality, but in general coming out was a pretty chill experience.

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2 hours ago, Cooper86 said:

Thank you! I wasn't aware of asexuality being a thing until the most recent years of my life. I think alot of people are still unaware of it. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So im really glad i found this place!

Tell me about it.

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1 hour ago, Zyden said:

When I was 12, my mother told me she was asexual. She is married twice, divorced once and has 4 kids. I didnt understand this at the time. She also told me she thought my grandmother was asexual, but being a Victorian, a woman had to marry or live in poverty back then. My gran died before I was born, so I couldn't ask her.

 

When I was in my mid 20s, I was getting a bit fedup of the grilling my friends/work mates/siblings were giving me about my lack of boyfriends. I'd made a weak go of it, but wasn't interested at all. At one point, the constant quizzing became intolerable, like it was all anyone ever asked me about:

 

Was I raped, was I abused, don't I feel like I want kids? But you're such a nice looking girl, why are you single? But you love children, don't you want one? You'll get broody one day etc etc. You know the drill.

 

My little sister in-particular became obsessed with figuring out if I was gay or maybe bi. This didn't float, as I like male aesthetics, and had male squishes, though all my close friends were female. My older sister was convinced I was straight, and hearing them argue about my orientation made my eyes roll into my skull. To me, it didnt matter. 

 

I consider myself genderfluid, and asexuality meant that the topic itself was actually pretty uninteresting. I could be girlish or tomboyish at whim, which threw people off.

 

Eventually, my friends were in a hot debate about men over lunch this Summer, and after asking me again who am I dating, I said I think I am asexual. They're teachers, and their reaction was to actually go and look up what was asexuality. I got no grief from them at all. They now dont ask me about dating, babies or romantic blahdeblah. But I do listen and show an interest in their tales, which I think they appreciate. I am still curious, as sometimes the antics of sexuals seem totally nuts and comical to me, but I never say that out loud!

 

I recently went back and asked my mother what she knew about asexuality, and she basically said 'nothing.' In the 80s, she had simply decided asexuality best described her and thought it was a made-up word she had assigned herself. She hated sex, touching, romance etc and simply had kids due to social expectations. I showed her AVEN and explained asexuality, but now she is in her 60s, she wasn't much interested or much bothered. She didn't quibble with me about it, and said as long as I'm happy supporting myself independently and living my life, it was all fine. I'm cheerful, confident and content in my own company, in my own home, with my pets and a good (if small) friend network.

 

My little sister was very abashed to hear I was asexual, and she too has stopped trying to set me up with men (or woman), and perhaps feels a little silly.  My older sister says she admires my independence, as she is stuck in a string of toxic relationships, but fears being alone with her 4 kids. 

 

Many work colleagues and a few family don't know, but I'm not that interested in telling them, as I get bored of explaining it. But if asked, I will outright just tell people, and let them make of it what they will and point them to wiki and AVEN.

 

 

Sometimes it can be annoying if the person comes across as bragging about their 'performance'.

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On 11/9/2017 at 4:00 PM, Sera1001 said:

@nimbus I hope your mom will understand eventually. Am i the only one who hates/dislikes the sound of this? That we might change our mind or something? Like you know the "we might end up liking it"? For me, i know that sexuality can advance and it is fluid but getting that response everytime is just really annoying.

Thanks, I hope so too. I feel like I shouldn't bring it up again with her unless something necessitates it, which sucks because I'd love to be able to talk about it. And yeah, the double standard is unfair. For some reason, it's assumed non-heterosexuals will change their minds and become heterosexual someday, yet nobody questions heterosexual people and it's assumed they'll stay that way forever.

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On 10/11/2017 at 3:33 AM, will123 said:

Sometimes it can be annoying if the person comes across as bragging about their 'performance'.

I don't hear this much. My friends are all women and 30+ in steady relationships. They tend not to talk about the details of sex or brag. I prefer mature friends as theyre less preoccupied with their genitals!  Isnt bragging more of a male trait?

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