coming out stories?

[kittyblomu]

Does anybody have any coming out stories that they'd like to share with me? I'm beyond curious and I need some inspiration (and courage). I love reading coming out stories but there haven't been many on demi-biromantic asexual.

 

But I'd like to know regardless of your sexual/romantic orientations.  

 

 

[Yatogami]

I told my parents over the phone 2 days before Christmas, while on the other side of the country. They didn't care, because they had the whole collection now. My sister is Bi. My youngest brother who is mtf is gay (likes men as bio male). My other younger brother who is also mtf, is straight (likes women as bio male.) This was confusing to write @-@.

 

I'm the asexual. Woot!

 

They forgot, and I told them again...and they forgot again. 

 

So I gave up.

[kittyblomu]

On 9/5/2017 at 7:03 PM, Yato said:

I told my parents over the phone 2 days before Christmas, while on the other side of the country. They didn't care, because they had the whole collection now. My sister is Bi. My youngest brother who is mtf is gay (likes men as bio male). My other younger brother who is also mtf, is straight (likes women as bio male.) This was confusing to write @-@.

 

I'm the asexual. Woot!

 

They forgot, and I told them again...and they forgot again. 

 

So I gave up.

That's so cool how your siblings are LGBT as well! :0

 

Oh my God, they forgot? I'm torn between feeling bad and laughing. 

 

I'm glad they accepted you, and your siblings, though. Well, technically they accepted you, even though they forgot... but you know what I mean.

 

Thanks for commenting! It means a lot! ❤️

[Chris Zulas]

I feel like this is an interesting enough perspective to say even tho it's not what you're asking - I never came out. As a kid I was a kid so it was okay to not like people that way, I've never seriously considered pretended I was straight and have always found women especially attractive even if I knew I wasn't and would never be into that, and well before the "Okay you should start dating or want it" vague age I learned the term asexual and I early on in life decided I won't lie about my interests and who I am, I'd hide my political beliefs or just general beliefs if it isn't worth it but I fly my freak flag high and that shit's connected with steel wire and attached to my spine so have fun removing it from view. So there was actually never a moment in my life where I had to tell my admittedly very hetero-normative dad "Dad I don't like girls" or turn down a girl. This isn't to say I'm better in any way - obviously that'd be stupid, it's not even a point of pride, life just rolled some dice and I don't live in a violently oppressive home. God bless y'all who have had to or even CAN'T come out, I can't imagine that. For me, good family has accepted it, some bad family has too and my parents have said they think I'll "Come around" which oddly is easier to deal with for me than if it were a friend because I'm just kinda used to my parents being varying layers of bad. Fellow students in school either said nothing about it, said well-meaning things like "It's his choice" which I actually do appreciate, though one archetypal redneck whose said "I'd rather work with an incompetent idiot than a gay person" called me the F-word (in a rare show of meatspace interaction I owned him and he was and remains my bitch) and one shitty history teacher actually called me out for it mid-class saying "That's not real" and I guess my mind panic shifted to calm because I logically shoulda acted like a loonie, not that that's a good idea but I'm a fragile little boy and if you knew me it's remarkable how I dealt with it, I think I coulda called him out with bad words and gotten him fired but oh well, he Googled it and found it was real and went quiet. All things considered, I'm lucky how my queerness has treated me. Kudos to you guys who have dealt with so so much worse, you have my sympathies.

[kittyblomu]

On 9/5/2017 at 9:35 PM, Chris Zulas said:

I feel like this is an interesting enough perspective to say even tho it's not what you're asking - I never came out. As a kid I was a kid so it was okay to not like people that way, I've never seriously considered pretended I was straight and have always found women especially attractive even if I knew I wasn't and would never be into that, and well before the "Okay you should start dating or want it" vague age I learned the term asexual and I early on in life decided I won't lie about my interests and who I am, I'd hide my political beliefs or just general beliefs if it isn't worth it but I fly my freak flag high and that shit's connected with steel wire and attached to my spine so have fun removing it from view. So there was actually never a moment in my life where I had to tell my admittedly very hetero-normative dad "Dad I don't like girls" or turn down a girl. This isn't to say I'm better in any way - obviously that'd be stupid, it's not even a point of pride, life just rolled some dice and I don't live in a violently oppressive home. God bless y'all who have had to or even CAN'T come out, I can't imagine that. For me, good family has accepted it, some bad family has too and my parents have said they think I'll "Come around" which oddly is easier to deal with for me than if it were a friend because I'm just kinda used to my parents being varying layers of bad. Fellow students in school either said nothing about it, said well-meaning things like "It's his choice" which I actually do appreciate, though one archetypal redneck whose said "I'd rather work with an incompetent idiot than a gay person" called me the F-word (in a rare show of meatspace interaction I owned him and he was and remains my bitch) and one shitty history teacher actually called me out for it mid-class saying "That's not real" and I guess my mind panic shifted to calm because I logically shoulda acted like a loonie, not that that's a good idea but I'm a fragile little boy and if you knew me it's remarkable how I dealt with it, I think I coulda called him out with bad words and gotten him fired but oh well, he Googled it and found it was real and went quiet. All things considered, I'm lucky how my queerness has treated me. Kudos to you guys who have dealt with so so much worse, you have my sympathies.

I'm so sorry you have classmates and even TEACHERS who will call you out for that. You don't deserve it. I'm glad your family accepts you, though. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

 

Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your story with me (and whoever comes across this topic)! It means a lot!

[MiraMeyneth]

I guess i'll drop my experience here.

 

So I tried to come out to my parents when I was 15. I was sitting in the car with my mother, and she asked if had a crush on anyone that I would like to take to Homecoming that year (as we were at the mall then and she was going to pick up a dress if I said yes.) I of course, said no, and she sighed and said that having a boyfriend was a good experience. All I remember was me mentioning that I was too busy for a relationship, and that I had never really felt that way towards anybody anyway. I then mentioned asexuality in passing, and she straight up asked if I was a lesbian. I said no, and then I remember her asking me if I had ever tried masturbation. I said no again, and she looked at me like I had three heads, then she dropped the subject. 

 

Looking back, my junior year went by without me mentioning anything in terms of romance or love to her, which probably tipped her off when I came out (again) the end of my junior year. (She forgot when I mentioned it to her the first time) 

 

Thankfully though the second time stuck and she accepted it. My father knows, but he really seems to not mind, which is nice. As for the rest of my family, I'm not out to them but I really don't care about their opinion on my life. 

 

It is rather humerus though, as my parents haven't had a single kid that is straight. My sister turned out to be a lesbian, while I turned out ace/aro.

 

I hold massive respect for those who resist the pressure of others over their orientation. Stay strong, wherever you are.

 

[Lichley]

I had the rather awkward "We'll accept you no matter what-" yay "but-" fml "are you sure, have you not met the right person, aren't you a bit young for this, etc. Ect." I was so hyped for acceptance, however as with all of my descision in this household I have to spend several hours justifying that what I felt really clarified as a proper descision, and if I was just doing it for attention. Finally, after about two hours, I just went to bed, they accepted it, and we never really spoke of it since.

[Zacharie]

I never felt the necessity of "come out", even I was already with some one very sexual. I was very curious at first and tried a lot of things but it never stick to me and never really looked for it or thought about having sex. I talked to him about how It was feeling like too often to ask for sexual activities, and he said it was ok, he said "it's going to be difficult for me but I want you to be comfortable".

 

Layer when I discovered the word asuexual i thought  it wasn't really necessary but I told him about the concept and that maybe is what I am. He said "well... it's fine. I guess it's ok if you identify with that". And that was pretty much it. Nothing really changed between us because even before he was very understanding that not all people like the same or feel comfortable doing sexual things.

 

we still do things sometimes and we are very good friends.

[wussa]

I've come out to one person. They were my roommate and they had come out to me really nonchalantly in the middle of a conversation as bisexual and then talked a little about how they had come to terms with it. This is the exact same way they came out as genderfluid to me about a year before. So I did the exact same thing and was like, "Well I found out I was asexual when blah blah...". I felt super comfortable with them so it was easy and we ended up having a cool convo about what being ace meant to me. I really want to come out to my immediate family as well as my best friend and then maybe others. There's been a lot of instances lately where I was talking to my mom or sister or friend where I felt the words bubbling up but I couldn't bring myself to actually say anything. After my cousin came out last Christmas and a couple other times they have casually/jokingly asked, "do you have anything you need to tell us?" and it made me super panicked so either automatically said no or was super sarcastic with them. It freaks me out because I don't know if they know I'm not straight or if they were actually joking. Also mentioned asexuality to my best friend and she was sorta dismissive; she didn't deny that it was an actual thing but she implied that it was weird which sucked because I've never really felt that I was weird for being ace but that comment made me feel a little like that. Regardless I think she might be the next person I tell because I think she would understand if I explained...even if explaining is kind of a hassle :/ 

[Farawaystranger]

Causally talking with parents. Gets on subject of sex/gays/love. [14 at the time, I am now 17].

Me: I think I may be asexual.

Dad: yeah, your Cousin [insert fake name to protect idenity] said that, 3 month later she was pregnant. 

Me: yeah. 

[Decides to wait until completely over with puberty to put a label on myself again.]

(This isn't really a coming out story because my parents don't think I am asexual. But to be honest, they would be okay with it)

 

[will123]

My experience coming out last month:

 

 

[plasticapollos]

Ironically, my brother came out to be as being demisexual. Took me completely by surprise, so I casually came out to him about being ace.

 

We kind of sat there for a minute, and then glanced over to the room where my mother was sitting doing homework and we both just kind of went.. "Ohhhhh" :DDD

I've always wondered if it was genetic, since there's three of us in one family.  (Even if my mom doesn't know she is)

 

On the other hand, I've been considering telling my best friend. But he just came out as gay, and I can't help but feel like it wouldn't help things.

Plus I had told him that I had had a crush on him (Grey-romantic), and didn't really want to explain how that all works and/or cheapen the confidence I think he gained by knowing I found him "attractive", especially if he learned that it wasn't a sexual.. attraction..

 

Y'know, all these people be out here sayin' they want someone to like them for their personality, but I KNOW that ain't entirely true. 

[kittyblomu]

@MiraMeyneth I'm glad your family didn't give you too much of a hard time when you came out. 

 

@Lichley Ehhh that's kind of what I'm afraid of.. the whole "you're too young to know this stuff" response. But other than that, I'm glad they ended up accepting you (even after two hours).

 

@Lar It's good that nothing changed between you and your partner! I'm happy that he respected you and wanted you to feel comfortable.

 

@wussa This is, like, exactly how I want to come out to someone, whether it be a best friend, or my mom, or my dad, or maybe even a professor when I go to college or something. I want to just come out and say it, not have to repeat it, maybe explain it briefly, and then I want the person/people to say "oh, that's cool", and then just continue with the conversation as if nothing had been said. Then I want the person to talk to me after and maybe ask me what my beliefs or how I found out I was asexual, etc. Maybe just have a small, private conversation with them. Thing is, I don't want my coming out story to be this huge, dramatic thing where I come out and then everyone's like "whaaaaaaat oh my god, you're asexual??????" and I definitely don't want to deal with the prejudice that comes along with not being straight (but of course, that's a given). All in all I'm glad your coming out story was not too rocky.  

 

@mollie2060 Yep I can definitely see my dad telling me this. My parents have a tendency to kind of invalidate me?? So I wouldn't be surprised if I came out to them one day only to be faced with this response.

 

@will123 I'll definitely check it out!! 

 

@plasticapollos That's so cool how your brother is also a part of the LGBTQ+!

 

 

Thank you everybody for your responses! I'm so sorry I got back to you all so late. I appreciate this very much! 

[Dancer23]

The first time I came out it wasn't really a planned thing - a friend at uni had organised a trans-awareness workshop (sadly, it was only a few of us that went) and as part of it they covered a whole bunch of terms relating to gender, sexuality etc. A friend asked a few questions about what asexuality meant and I ended up saying that I'm asexual without really thinking about it. Being as the people coming to the workshop were the most LGBT+ positive and aware people on the course (to my knowledge) I really didn't feel I had too many worries about them knowing, and they've been totally cool with it ever since (or if they haven't, I haven't been aware of it!).

 

The second time was to a friend who previously had said some things that meant I wasn't sure how they would take it, but there were a few other things they'd come across where their initial reactions could seem like they weren't that supportive but really they were just trying to get their head around it and understand it, so I thought it would be worth the risk as we've been friends for years. Honestly I think they were a bit like 'oh, ok, I don't understand why you're telling me this but sure, that's cool' which was nice. (To be clear, they never said they didn't understand why I was telling them, they just seemed a bit nonplussed by it. They could also just have been surprised.)

 

I'm meeting another friend later in the week to tell them, but I'll be really surprised if they're not cool with it.

 

There are a few people I would choose not to come out to - it feels too much like talking about my sex life to want to tell my family, especially as I'm heteroromantic, and a couple people on my course had some not-so-great reactions when we covered asexuality in class, so I'm not planning on being too explicit there! I will say that after coming out, I've had a few days after of just feeling a bit more vulnerable than usual, I guess because it's a part of me that I haven't spoken about all that much offline. That feeling passed quite quickly, but I thought I'd mention it because it took me by surprise - then when I felt that way and googled it, it seems quite a few people had that feeling too.

[will123]

4 hours ago, kittyblomu said:

 

 

@wussa This is, like, exactly how I want to come out to someone, whether it be a best friend, or my mom, or my dad, or maybe even a professor when I go to college or something. I want to just come out and say it, not have to repeat it, maybe explain it briefly, and then I want the person/people to say "oh, that's cool", and then just continue with the conversation as if nothing had been said. Then I want the person to talk to me after and maybe ask me what my beliefs or how I found out I was asexual, etc. Maybe just have a small, private conversation with them. Thing is, I don't want my coming out story to be this huge, dramatic thing where I come out and then everyone's like "whaaaaaaat oh my god, you're asexual??????" and I definitely don't want to deal with the prejudice that comes along with not being straight (but of course, that's a given). All in all I'm glad your coming out story was not too rocky.  

 

@will123 I'll definitely check it out!! 

 

 

Thank you everybody for your responses! I'm so sorry I got back to you all so late. I appreciate this very much! 

On the bold, that's how my friend was to when I told him.

 

Your welcome!

 

Sometimes I'm afraid that I go a bit 'overboard' with some of my posts and/or topics. When someone replies and says they feel the same way or have had the same experience(s), I feel like my effort was worthwhile and helpful.

[CallaWolf]

I was in the car on the way home from Disneyland and my mom and I were talking about relationships and how I was finding it hard about getting into one. I then just said it: "I think I'm asexual, because doing it isn't a priority and I never seem to know why it comes up at times, and that I don't think I even WANT to be in a relationship." The conversation sorta ended right there.

 

 

The next day I had a conversation with her (like the "sit down....lets talk about it" kind) with her saying she's cool with it and that she just wished she had seen it sooner. She seemed pretty cool ever since then, and it's been a regular conversation piece amongst us and she's been pretty accepting, Asexuality isn't really that weird, in my mind at least, and thankfully she at least agrees.

[kittyblomu]

@Dancer23 Wow, a trans-awareness workshop? That's amazing. I wish I could have gone, but alas, I don't attend your university.  I'm glad you feel safe enough to come out to more than one person. Lord knows I need that kind of courage, but it'll come when it comes and for now, I'm not rushing it. 

 

Yeah, there are a few select people I'm not comfortable with knowing about my orientations, mostly because I don't know if they're homophobic or not. Even if they aren't homophobic, I don't know if they'll accept me. The thing with asexuality is, not everyone knows that it exists and therefore end up invalidating the person trying to come out, whether it be by intention or not. I can even hear the conversation that me and those select few people may have: "I'm asexual." "What the f*ck??" or even "That's not a thing, right?"

 

I'd really rather not have to deal with that, though I guess when you're coming out as any sexuality, bigotry and ignorance is just a given.

 

@CallaWolf That's great that your mom accepted you! I'm so happy for you aaaa ! I agree — I don't think asexuality is weird or strange at all. I am quite happy being asexual and that's all that really matters-if you're comfortable in your own skin.  

[wussa]

@kittyblomu I actually have more to add! I recently came out to my mom and my sister. We were at Dallas Pride and as I was displaying all of my LGBT knowledge, my mom kept side-eyeing me like 'why do you know all these things?'. So , we're sitting down on the grass waiting for the parade to start when I see this dude, and he's dressed up as  an asexual pirate (you probably know what tumblr post this is refering to). I got super excited about it and as I was explaining the joke to my mom and sister she asked me "do you have something to tell me?" and I was like "uhhhh... I'm asexual". She asked what that meant and my older sister jumped in to explain and then was like "hey, you want a picture with him? let's go" and that was that basically. So...yea. 

 

[kel naismith]

I came out to my mom (kind of accidentally) in tears, over the best French toast I've ever had. It went. in retrospect, actually pretty well. I think she pretty much got it, even if she didn't totally understand it. She said most all of the right things, even if I can't recall them all now.

 

I came out to my dad, twice, because apparently neither he nor my mom were really paying attention the first time. ( A lot of my cousins were getting married that year, so after one wedding, fueled partly on liquid courage, I came out to my dad as we were returning to the hotel, with my mom in the car. Then at the next wedding, we had an almost identically conversation (with my mom actually saying to me after something along the lines of "I didn't tell him about your sexuality before because you asked me not to share it" both times). That said, he didn't really care (in the best way).

 

I came out to my cousins (also at a wedding (well, technically the night before)) semi-accidentally. I'd blame it on alcohol, except I knew pretty much right what I was doing. One of them asked if I was seeing anyone and I said "Nope. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, and not likely to change either way". I thought I was being "subtle" while not lying, because at that particular moment, I really didn't feel like being evasive. (In my defense, someone else had just announced they were bi, so the extra clarification about not having a partner of either gender seemed to be okay). Naturally, then someone asked if I was bi, and I said no, I was not interested in anyone. "Oh, you're asexual?" "Yep, that it" and then we went back to playing Cards Against Humanity. All in all, it went pretty well. 

[kittyblomu]

On 25.10.2017 at 3:39 PM, wussa said:

@kittyblomu I actually have more to add! I recently came out to my mom and my sister. We were at Dallas Pride and as I was displaying all of my LGBT knowledge, my mom kept side-eyeing me like 'why do you know all these things?'. So , we're sitting down on the grass waiting for the parade to start when I see this dude, and he's dressed up as  an asexual pirate (you probably know what tumblr post this is refering to). I got super excited about it and as I was explaining the joke to my mom and sister she asked me "do you have something to tell me?" and I was like "uhhhh... I'm asexual". She asked what that meant and my older sister jumped in to explain and then was like "hey, you want a picture with him? let's go" and that was that basically. So...yea. 

 

Oh my goodness that's awesome! I'm so glad your family accepted you!  Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! 

[kittyblomu]

4 hours ago, kelnaismith said:

I came out to my mom (kind of accidentally) in tears, over the best French toast I've ever had. It went. in retrospect, actually pretty well. I think she pretty much got it, even if she didn't totally understand it. She said most all of the right things, even if I can't recall them all now.

 

I came out to my dad, twice, because apparently neither he nor my mom were really paying attention the first time. ( A lot of my cousins were getting married that year, so after one wedding, fueled partly on liquid courage, I came out to my dad as we were returning to the hotel, with my mom in the car. Then at the next wedding, we had an almost identically conversation (with my mom actually saying to me after something along the lines of "I didn't tell him about your sexuality before because you asked me not to share it" both times). That said, he didn't really care (in the best way).

 

I came out to my cousins (also at a wedding (well, technically the night before)) semi-accidentally. I'd blame it on alcohol, except I knew pretty much right what I was doing. One of them asked if I was seeing anyone and I said "Nope. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, and not likely to change either way". I thought I was being "subtle" while not lying, because at that particular moment, I really didn't feel like being evasive. (In my defense, someone else had just announced they were bi, so the extra clarification about not having a partner of either gender seemed to be okay). Naturally, then someone asked if I was bi, and I said no, I was not interested in anyone. "Oh, you're asexual?" "Yep, that it" and then we went back to playing Cards Against Humanity. All in all, it went pretty well. 

Huh. That's definitely an interesting way to come out, but I would agree - especially considering everyone seemed to accept you anyway.  

[SylviaDragon]

I'm pretty obvious about my Aceness online. I use this little icon i made on most of my accounts and tend to share lots of ace jokes  and stories, ect. But since my parents and the people they surround themselves with really hate the queer community I have only come out to my sister in the real world so far. shes my best friend so I knew she would handle it well....so i came out to her in the dumbest way possible. She has such a love-hate relationship with bad jokes.

 

I stood in her closet with the light off. "Hey, want to hear a dumb joke?"

"uh, sure."

"How many Asexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"....How many?"

"Just one. but to be honest she'd prefer not to screw anything."

"What?"

"Ok new joke." I closed the closet door. "Know knock."

"Whos there?"

"The asexual from before. Let me out of this closet! I didn't screw in the light bulb so its dark in here!"

She threw open the door and gave me a death glare. "Really? Are you serious? That's how we are gonna do this?"

"yep."

"Get out of the closet you nerd."

 

It was great.  I had to explain some things to her afterwards  since she was familiar with the term but fuzzy on its meaning but overall she was perfectly accepting. (once she stopped groaning about my terrible jokes anyway) She has had quite a few friends come out to her so she didn't even bat an eye. Afterwards I led her to Aven with a little wink and a nudge because I had a hunch. A few weeks later we were talking about some of the questions she had about the ace spectrum and froze mid sentence and said: "Oh my god I'm a Demi!"

"Oh good you caught on!"

"You knew!?"

"I was half expecting you to come out when i did." 

"So many things make sense now!" 

 

 

 

[Semiterrestrial Scientist]

I actually came out yesterday to my sister (and kinda my mom since she was in the room next to us). It was a little bit of an accident. We were putting away dishes and joking around when she saw the ace flag taped onto my phone with AAW written on it. 

 

Her:What’s this?

 

Me:The asexual flag. It AAW.

 

Her:(I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was somewhere along the lines of) Ha! Cause you are one!*puts hand on my shoulder in a joking matter*

 

I was kinda surprised so I kinda just stood there like, uuuummmmmm...

 

Her:*with a slightly more serious look on her face*Wait, are you?

 

Me:*nods* Yeah...

 

Her: Oh. What does that mean?

 

I ended up explaining a lot to her about the different stuff and romantic orientations. She was slightly familiar with the term before cause she’s a big supporter of the LGBTQ+ but she didn’t know what it meant. After telling her she said “Yep, that sounds like you.”

 

[Sibemarie]

Just a few people know about me. A few people i told i only told them because it came as a subject of conversation as they were also criticizing society for being oversexualized (even them being sexuals), and i told them because they are intelligent and open minded.

My best friend and mate knows and obviously my asexuality and his kind-of asexuality make a perfect fit of a deep friendship of a guy and a girl. He also sees society as messed up and oversexualized.

My parents don't care, don't ask, they are old people from the countryside, they think that there is something like "people who want to be on their own and not marry" (probably this is some sort of less complex label for asexuality that might have happened in the countryside in the past).

But some people i tried to explain, they did not only failed to understand but also disrespected me. Two guys at least, they seemed to be kind of intelligent regarding art , music, society, but then...one was not believing, which was very very annoying (you tell the freaking TRUTH and a person does not accept it,it pissed me off, so much, SO much!!) And the other later on made jokes, really disgusting nasty jokes about me. It made me furious.

I don't tell and i avoid coming out at any cost. I hate discussions and judgement and everything around. I need peace and quiet. I prefer not to tell than to have to go through the exhausting ordeal of explaining to idiots who dont believe even after they read or listen.

The worst is that soon i will have to share a house (working abroad), a small house with a random person, due to my financial problems. I am already a mess emotionally just to think of it.

[nimbus]

I'm not out to anyone yet and these stories are really helpful. Keep 'em coming please!  

[colossalpenguins]

I didn't really ever come out to my family, I didn't need to. I've never been one to talk about crushes or relationships or X celebrity is soooo cute or whatever. My mum has a pair of rings which she had made from her grandmother's wedding ring, one is a wedding ring and the other is an eternity ring. When my sister and I were younger it was always assumed that I'd get the wedding ring and my sister would get the eternity ring. 

Last September while I was home my mum asked me whether it would be OK to give the wedding ring to my sister instead since I wasn't likely to get married (with my sister and her boyfriend it seems to be a case of when rather than if). When I told one of my friends about this conversation she was kind of insulted on my behalf that my mum would say something like that but realistically, for me, even if I were to meet someone I'm unlikely to get married and on a more aesthetic level, the eternity ring is not my style!

As far as friends go, one of them pointed me towards asexuality in the first place and pretty much all the others had a response something along the lines of "holy **** that makes so much sense" once I had explained to them. I have one "friend" who, as far as I know, still doesn't believe asexuality is a thing and that it's just BS attention seeking or something because how could anyone not want sex? But life's too short to have one person who doesn't believe me upset me.

[elenab123]

I've only come out to a few of my friends. My best friend, who is the most amazing person in the world, told me that she had a feeling and she was perfectly fine with it as long as I loved her and of course I do lol. My other friends were also okay with it, but I think their knowledge of it is very limited, so it was like an "ohh okay" and that was it.....well we were pretty high so I'm not sure they were functioning correctly haha. But then it turned out my roommate is thinking she is too, which was really interesting so I've been trying to help her with it, but it's different for everyone yaknow? 

As for my parents ... I haven't yet, but here's the thing: I'm not sure its a big deal. Like I feel like being gay, or trans, or every other sexuality is more of a "wow factor", I mean people say asexuality isn't even a sexuality its just a preference. So I feel like it isn't big enough to make an effort to actually "come out". Like all the times I told my friends we were just having a casual conversation and sexuality or sex came up and I said it. I know if you are coming out as gay, or trans, etc it's a bigger question of "will they accept me" but I feel like asexuality is not like that as much..???

Am I making any sense? I'm not really sure haha it's hard to explain.

I mean if I did I'm sure they would accept, they might be confused about what it is, but other than that I feel like they'd be chill.

[Sera1001]

Okay! *exhales* Hoo! I came out and how i did it and what i was feeling was pretty stupid. Let me explain. The moment i was addicted with the labels, it was really hard to feel natural with it. So i added lots of romanticism labels and such. Like it was to the point where i just used too much and letting labels describe me more than i gave a meaning to a label. So yeah, i came out to my sister who was probably asexual. A bit nervous but nah. We're pretty open about stuff. I even admitted to her that i masturbate >_< and she gives me that weird look. Then she told me that it was natural to do that. Anyway, i told her and she asked me if i knew what sexual attraction meant. And i was like "yeah" even though.. Well, soon after that, i was terribly confused. Okay so here's my coming out story. My sister was ok with it. But for me at the time, it was hard to comprehend. I thought i understood it easily. I've been going to forums and forums. Then still ended up confused. Now, not so much. I'm not so frustrated and worried, i just don't care anymore. 

 

My other coming out stories were:

 

¤ I came out to two friends, told them in the group chat. I think they might've been off put or something. I was using lots of labels and trying to explain. We moved on. It was hard for them to understand, i thought.

¤ I came out to a guy on chat who's had a crush on me for years and he was like "Why's everyone who's good looking and a person with a best attitude always have a different sexuality" and i told him that i didn't experience sexual attraction. I told him i was gray ace, that i barely experience it (unfortunately, now. I can really say that i don't feel it at all. Probably never did)

Then he told me, "There must be a way" and it came across to me that it was very discriminatory in some way? But i told him that there's a way since sexuality is fluid. Then after that conv, i ignored him for months XD it was ok eventually. I'm not attracted to that guy, btw.

¤ This other one is very interesting. I told my online friend who's a guy that i might be bisexual. BUT remember that i had a crush on this guy (platonically) and he said he was probably gay =_= xD Okay, i was glad and sad. We both thought we are asexual. And then i told him i kinda liked him He's thinking that he might be homoromantic. I think i'm gray hetero-romantic/platonic. I was sensually attracted to him. Like i even (night) dreamt about cuddling him on the bed XD

¤ I told my other sister about it. She was like "You're so dumb. You didn't know why?" and she thinks that she is Bi. I don't believe it lol

She thinks that it is more on to having sex with a girl than attraction (then again, who am i to say that. It's her life). We had that conv yesterday too. She was just like "I haven't found anyone like that yet. I'm very picky about girls"

At one point, i thought i was bi back then. I was a bit worried and probably happy too I felt really bad because i've met people who are very homophobic behind people's backs. People are nice in front of them and talk crap about them behind their backs. I do make gay jokes sometimes though but i wouldn't want to talk crap about them. Anyway, i don't mind girls and guys. More on to, guys though Just not sexually haha. Girls are sexually/aesthetically appealing to me. So yeah! That's about it. I did kinda come out on instagram but people just didn't care XD

I always thought that asexuality was the thing everyone had. I just thought people had sex because they wanted to but not because of attraction :/

 

I agree with elenab, it's not much to come out as asexual but there are still people who are discriminate towards it. Probably bringing violence and such. It's something easy to accept, i guess. But not to some people.

[Sera1001]

HahahahaXD That was interesting! @Syrthia

[nimbus]

Yesterday, I came out to my mom as asexual. I was nervous and didn't exactly need to tell her, there's no need for her to know my sexuality, but I wanted to do it because it'd been increasingly bugging me lately, having to keep it a secret. It was becoming clear that I was in the closet and I didn't like being there. I hadn't told anyone outside of AVEN and wanted to come out so I could get it off my mind and move forward as an asexual person. Her reaction was basically something like, "You just don't have enough experience, you'll change your mind about wanting sex later." Not the greatest response, but this isn't a matter of anyone's opinion. It felt relieving to just the get the words out of my head, even if she didn't understand. Knowing you're asexual is one thing but it feels like saying the words to someone else affirms it. I'm glad I did it, I feel better now.

Some advice for anyone else who's thinking of coming out: you'll be fine if the main reason you want to do it is for yourself, for your own clarity and happiness, rather than to please someone or to seek validation. There's an element of fear you have to overcome. If you're going to do it, make sure you want to do it; coming out isn't a requirement.