Questions for sexual trans people (particularly AMABs/transfeminine folks)

[The-world-is-quiet-here]

Hi!

 

So I've been hanging out with my younger sibling a lot over the past couple months, and we've bonded over being LGBTQ. 

 

I have a couple questions about sexuality-type stuff relating to Sasha. I hope these aren't out of line, but let me know if they are.

 

Before I get into the questions, Sasha's background is: they're adopted, and they're almost 13. They're AMAB.

 

1. This first question is a little weird, so I'm just gonna say it. they seem to be like, fake flirting with me? Like, they keep touching my face and saying sexual things. I'm pretty sure they're not actually flirting with me, but it kinda weirds me out, cause of anxiety and whatnot. Is this normal? I think they're mostly doing it to get a reaction out of me. Idk though. I need to have better boundaries around this, and say something like, "When you're pretending to flirt with me, it bothers me. I don't feel comfortable when you do that. I need you to stop doing that, please." Note: i'm mostly saying this on the internet so I can hold myself accountable  but if you have advice about this, feel free to chime in.

 

2. Are there any good books, YouTube videos, etc, for AMAB people going through puberty? For AFAB people, there's all those American Girl type of books about ~taking care of your body~, but I didn't know if there was something like that for AMABs.

 

3. Sasha seems to be somwhat into kink, and I can't tell how much of it is talk and how much is legit. I can't think of any specific examples right now, but they keep mentioning that they're kinky. I want them to feel like they can talk to me about it- I'm like 99% sure they wouldn't talk to our parents about it- but because of my own experiences, I also feel vaguely uncomfortable with kinky stuff. I want to help my sibling (if I can), but I obviously don't want to hurt myself or my mental health in the process. So yeah, idk what to do about that.

 

4. I guess my main question is: are there things that are part of a "normal" sexuality? Like, things to watch for, or on the other end of the spectrum, bad signs or problematic things? 

 

That's all I can think of for now. Thanks for reading this! I'd love to hear your responses, if you're comfortable with that  

[LeChat]

Hello. I'm not trans, but I've been watching trans peoples' YouTube videos and documentaries about trans kids, where parents explained their child's behavior before and after they transitioned. Perhaps, those might help you.

 

Is Sasha seeing a gender therapist? I'm sure they'd be able to understand and explain why Sasha's acting this way toward you. That way, you don't have to try to figure this out all by yourself.

 

1. It depends on what you mean by Sasha saying, "sexual things." In the documentaries I've watched, parents of trans kids, as well as trans teen, Jazz Jennings, mentioned that they/their trans kid would express desire for the opposite (i.e. their desired) genders' genitals and body characteristics because they wished they were born with those body parts and wanted to have them, now.

 

But if you meant that Sasha is expressing desire to be sexual with you, rather than just expressing a desire to have your female face or genitals because they want to transition to female, that's something completely different from this, perhaps expressing a sexual orientation preference for females.

 

Have you tried asking Sasha whether they're attracted to, or have any crushes, at anyone else in their classes at school, just to divert their attention (which might subtly let them know that you're not interested in a sexual relationship with them, in case they're expressing sexual attraction toward you)?

 

2. Since you asked, here is a list of books about puberty for boys: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=boy+body