Halp Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Hey, I'm a girl who is really confused on her sexuality. I'm at the age where all my friends are dating or having crushes while I'm just there. It's really odd since my friends are teasing me about my close male friend who I feel nothing but friendship to. I have thought about sex and relationships and I'm looking forward to it! But I've been asked out a few times, I've rejected. I also tried forcing crushes to no avail, it's hard because no one believes me when I say I don't like anyone yet. Of course I can imagine settling down with my friends but I don't feel anything besides companionship. Trust me, I've observed both males, females and I'm hesitant to consider myself bisexual as I don't want to be accused of copying my best friend. It's just strange, I'm trying to be normal and my friends don't get my lack of romantic/sexual feelings to anyone we met. I have friends squealing in group chat about their crushes, hell my female best friend (one of the two I tried forcing myself to like) has a crush. Sure I've admired good looking people but I never actively wanted them, they were just good to look at. I do want a husband and children in the future but I'm worried I might actually have to force myself to like a man to get the romantic dream I always wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
BinaryFission Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Hi, and welcome to AVEN! In AVEN, we have a tradition of "offering" the new member a slice of cake. Here you go ! (My favourite cakes are the Black-Forest cake or Sachertorte, so yummy) I see that you posted in the "Announcements" page. I'm pretty sure someone will move it to it's right place! Anywho, from what I am reading here, I can assume that you are under the ace spectrum, more specifically an asexual or aromantic asexual. However, it's really up to you to label yourself as one. A label is pretty much showing to everyone else what you describe yourself and who you are. An asexual person is a person who doesn't experience sexual attraction, however most have a romantic orientation instead. For myself, I am a heteromantic asexual, which means that I "seek out" for romantic relationships with the opposite biological sex as mine. However, I don't really look for one, it just happens. Asexuals can also feel aesthetic attraction, meaning that they are able to identify a person as physically attractive, but not really having the desire to date them and stuff. An aromantic person is someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction. They aren't really interested in romantic relationships in general and don't really seek for one. However, some aromantic people experience sexual attraction. An aromantic asexual is a person who is both of things that I mentioned above. They don't experience sexual attraction or romantic attraction. People who are aromantic asexual tend tohave platonic relationships and friendships, but from what I read there are relationships that are more than a friendship, but less than a romantic relationship (I think kind of between really, but I wouldn't know because I am not one). If you ever identify as any of those that I mentioned above (or any other labels out there, really), it doesn't always have to be permanent. People's feelings and attractions aren't engraved in stone, and they can fluctuate from time to time. It happens to some people but not to all. I hope I somehow helped you a bit about your trouble Link to post Share on other sites
Halp Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 Thank you, I didn't ever consider being aromantic asexual I will see if it fits me. Link to post Share on other sites
Notquitesure1 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Hi, I can relate to a lot of what you said. I currently am identifying as demisexual but i'm not sure that's the right word for how I feel. I have the same problems with my friends being in relationships and having crushes, but just know that if your friends care about you they shouldn't accuse you for copying their sexuality, you do you, be who you want to be! xx Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Sounds like your experiencing aesthetic attraction, but not romantic and sexual attraction. maybe these could help. http://life-of-an-asexual.tumblr.com/post/102762643654/desires-for-relations-based-on-types-of-attraction Link to post Share on other sites
Halp Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 I again would like to thank everyone for trying to help me out. Link to post Share on other sites
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