Alzzarla Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I recently met an Asexual person for the first time - she is the coolest person I have ever met, we like each other, but we don't know where the relationship is going - but ever since she came out to me (less than a week ago)... I've kinda sorta lost my sex drive, or what I've thought was my sex drive. I don't get aroused and don't really seek out sexual relief anymore. I've - ahem - watched porn for a long time, but recently been more and more disinterested. And now I don't even bother. This is probably a phase, but I don't know. When I think back to the times I've had chrushes... I mostly remember being attracted by their clothes and personality (and sometimes their piano skills). I also have a though time trying to explain sexual attraction to MYSELF, and don't really understand/recognise others descriptions about it. My own theory is that I want to be with her so much that I can somehow completely forsake the idea of sex for her sake... but that does not make ANY sense. ... right? Is this a common thing? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nomiverse Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 Loss of libido doesn't automatically mean you're asexual. There are sexual people with a low sex drive just like there are asexual people with a normal sex drive. Arousal is physical, sexual attraction is mental. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alzzarla Posted September 3, 2017 Author Share Posted September 3, 2017 Yeah, you're right. What's happening is probably that my libido is overshadowed by my need to get to know her and to be near her. Don't now if "squish" is the right term, but it's pretty close to what I'm feeling. Anyway, thanks CapaldianEra Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SimplyStormclouds Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Well personally, I've always seen sexuality as somewhat fluid. Certainly for some people it's very solid throughout their lives, but really sexuality (and gender but that's not really relevant to this particular topic) is never the same for any two people. Basically what I'm saying is that this could quite possibly be a phase for you but I don't think that necessarily means that you're not somewhere on the grey-spectrum. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vara Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 I have a slightly different take on the topic so I'm gona toss in my two cents. Whether or not you are Asexual, Grey Ace, Demi Ace or Sexual...what you feel right now is what you have to deal with. If it changes then deal with that as it comes. I myself have not experienced a change in my status. Learning about the terms and that there is a whole group out there who feel simmilarly has only made me feel excited and confident with what I have always felt. Whethere sexuality, sexual attraction/identity or even self-identified gender changes for others...I genuinely have no opinion on. Because their experience is their own--just like yours is, and will continue to be, your own. You have a squish. Enjoy it! hehe Get to know her. Hang out. Have fun. Try not to miss out on the good in it by continuing to try and pin down a solid definition for yourself. Over time you'll figure out where you fit. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Reluctant_Dragon Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Sexuality is fluid. You can be asexual now, and in 3 days be gay, then in 8 years be straight. Just identitify yourself based on how you feel. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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