Did anyone think that they were bisexual?

[Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit]

Before identifying as ace did anyone else feel like they might be bisexual? My rationale for thinking that I might be bi was because I felt little sexual attraction to either gender I assumed that I liked them both equally?

 

Is this a common experience?

[Yatogami]

I admit, I gave it a thought that perhaps I was gay rather than straight (Before I realized I was Asexual). I thought perhaps I was after the wrong gender. But the thought of being with either made me uncomfortable, and I liked neither. 

[Emjay537]

Yeah I had the same experience of thinking I must be bisexual, but then I felt I was pretty rubbish at being bi too. 

[Podsnap]

I thought maybe I was the wrong gender.

[Kelpie]

Yep, for similar reasons. 

[LadyFie]

I thought I was bisexual because I couldn't understand how someone's gender could ever stop another person from loving them. Then I discovered the difference between being sexual and being romantic. Now I think maybe because of my asexuality I see love as an almost exclusively mental thing and that's why I don't care about someone's gender at all.

[Jea]

1 hour ago, Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit said:

Before identifying as ace did anyone else feel like they might be bisexual? My rationale for thinking that I might be bi was because I felt little sexual attraction to either gender I assumed that I liked them both equally?

 

Is this a common experience?

I had the exact same thought for years. Step one: I don't like boys so I'm probably gay. Step two: oh but I don't like girls more than boys so if I like them the same way I must be bi.

(Then of course, step three (occurs after hearing about asexuality): ohhhh but wait a minute)

 

I think this must be a common experience, as bisexuality is the closest well known thing that we kinda can identify to until we actually question whether we feel sexual attraction instead of just wondering towards which gender we feel it.

[WobblyWallaby]

This is why I'm Bi-romantic...I assumed because I found both sets of people aesthetically pleasing that eventually the whole sexual attraction thing would come into play.

[Busrider]

I'm not sure if I thought much but I looked and saw no real appeal.

[Plectrophenax]

I definitely thought it was more likely than me being heterosexual or homosexual, once I had a vague-ish grasp of these concepts.

But the lack of desire/attraction was so prevalent that it wouldn't have occured to me to ever consider using the label in any meaningful way.

[carbomb]

For like a couple days.

[weethreequarter]

I briefly wondered, as I could tell women were aesthetically good looking or not just as I could with men, but whenever I pictured a relationship or future with someone, it was always with a man. Just with little or no sex. 

[Janus the Fox]

I did and do like both in some aspect with leaning toward more guys, for romantic and other inter-personal reasons, I can have sex with both for some romantic reason for them.  Very rare if nearly never such feelings for another person develops, only been in 1 relationship and currently after 30 years of life.

[JMichael]

Yup, for many of the same reasons mentioned. It never felt exactly right, but it was the closest language I had to label my emotions.

[Zebrafinch]

Yes, as in I'm not very interested in men and, theoretically, having sex with a woman seems about as appealing as having sex with a man, therefore I must be bi.

I also went with "I'm probably straight; most people are" for a while. 

This reminds me of forms with the question "What's your sexuality?" Gay, Bi, Straight or Prefer not to say. Umm.... I think I'll go with Prefer not to say as I'm not actually sure... The last one I had to fill in had "other please state" and I'd worked it out by then so I could put asexual for the first time.

[Gloomy]

Yeah, a few years ago I thought I was bi. I did and still do think both males and females can be aesthetically attractive, so I just went with that for a while.

[utca]

Yep. I felt indifferent toward both, and wondered if that meant I was okay with both.

[Mychemicalqpr]

I actually managed to discover asexuality before bisexuality, but I still didn't totally understand the separation of sexual and romantic attraction, so I said I was "asexual and bisexual". With the words that I knew at the time, I was as close as I could have been. 

[Salted Karamel]

Back when I was a teenager I wondered if I was gay because I wasn't physically interested in boys; I just developed crushes on them, and I kinda had a crush on a girl at the time. But then I realized I didn't want to get physical with girls either. I'd heard about asexuality and wondered if that might have been me, but unfortunately it didn't come with the explanation that asexuals can still feel romantic attraction, so I ruled it out because I'd had pretty strong crushes on people.. xD

 

If I'd only had that crucial bit of information, I probably would have identified as asexual about 15 years ago, but then, without the 10+ years of being convinced I was just a faulty heterosexual, I may not have gotten into the relationships that made me decide I was demisexual when I became reacquainted with the ace spectrum and all its nuances.

 

Ironically, though, these days I wonder if I really am just ace with only an intellectual interest in sex.

[MelMart]

17 hours ago, Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit said:

 

Is this a common experience?

I don't know if it's common, but that was my same conclusion!

i didn't know what asexual meant, so I thought that I was bi, but I wasn't far off.

These days I identify as panalterous because I could like any gender expression including thirdgender (multiple genders, no gender, etc).

It encompasses more.

Asexual my main orientation, as I never act upon these feelings.

[kiaroskuro]

No, I never thought I could be bisexual because I realised I was asexual at the same moment when I realised I was biromantic. I guess.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

Not really but I started to free myself from all given social expectations and mainstream lables while discovering my true nature which is an amazing experience.

[Rhyme]

I secretly identified as bi for a couple of months, because I didn't feel anything different regardless of gende

[TheCatBehind]

Me! I did!... kinda.

 

I tried all the big four labels and none of them felt right.

[ArcticFoxes]

Yes! That or pan. I thought romantic attraction and sexual attraction was the same thing so. 

[LeChat]

Yes. When I wasn't aware that there were differences between sexual attraction, aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction, I thought I might be bisexual (because I experienced aesthetic attractions towards a couple of my female friends, once in elementary school and another in middle school, yet also experienced a lot more stronger, romantic attractions towards my male classmates, several times during elementary and middle school).

 

I thought both of these things I was feeling were sexual attraction, but just at smaller, varying degrees.

[Flowertheflower]

I thought I was bisexual at first since i wasnt straight nor gay, but then i learned more about lgbtq+ stuff and discovered much more sexualities.

I choose not to label myself as anything, but panromantic seems to fit the best.

[kimchee]

This feels relatable, might be the reason why I believe I'm pan...

[Issy_Marie]

I 

On 9/3/2017 at 4:52 PM, Findus said:

I had the exact same thought for years. Step one: I don't like boys so I'm probably gay. Step two: oh but I don't like girls more than boys so if I like them the same way I must be bi.

(Then of course, step three (occurs after hearing about asexuality): ohhhh but wait a minute)

 

I think this must be a common experience, as bisexuality is the closest well known thing that we kinda can identify to until we actually question whether we feel sexual attraction instead of just wondering towards which gender we feel it.

I felt the same way. I remember thinking well, I am not really like guys, but I also don't  really like girls either. So, tadah I must be bi.  Then, a few years ago I found this documentary on Asexuals, and I realized that is so me. 

[plasticapollos]

I'm so glad you wrote this! Totally thought I might be bisexual because I kept developing odd feelings for my friends that were girls, and they were equivalent to guys. 

 

But then I realized the sexual attraction wasn't there at all for either- which is why it seemed equivalent. *confused faces*

But.. then I realized that I only developed romantic feelings for close friends, which makes me demiromantic.

 

Which is even more ironic because my brother is demisexual aromantic... and I'm asexual demiromantic.... WHAT

 

Long story short, THANK GOD FOR AVEN. <3