What the heck am I? (other than weird)

[dazednconfused]

Hey guys, this site is great, I had no idea so many people hated sex as much as I do.

 

I constantly find myself in relationships or situations where the girl wants to have sex and I simply don't,  Then they take offense, or tell me I am useless, and I never see them again.  I am attracted to women, I just do not like the act of sex.  I enjoy receiving oral sex, but I find vaginas to be disgusting and it is tough for me to keep it hard long enough to have sex because of that.  I even blacked out during sex ed in 6th grade at the mention of a bleeding vagina, and I still find them disgusting 20 years later.  

 

I am not attracted to guys in any way.  I am capable of love although I am not sure if I have ever felt it.   What the heck would you label me as?  I don't know anyone with this combination of preferences lol and its been extremely tough to find a mate.  Its also extremely crippling that I can never even attempt to date friends of friends for fear that they will all find out about my preferences which are slightly embarassing in the modern world

[ArcticFoxes]

I enjoy certain sex acts a bit, but I don't feel the need or drive to do them, I'd rather play video games. If I do, it's kind of tolerating doing something with someone I care about because it's a way for them to connect.

 

You sound like a heteroromantic asexual with some sex-repulsion, anyway.  (I am also sex-repulsed in certain contexts, though not in all). I would try and get comfortable in that and make friends etc in the community, read up a lot, etc, and then think about how you'd like to proceed with dating. Either way, it's something that has to come upfront in any potential relationship. You'll need to decide whether you want to exclusively date asexuals or whether you can reach compromises with sexual people. All options are thoroughly discussed on this forum. You're not useless, but people will take offence as they will automatically assume you are sexual unless you tell them otherwise.

[dazednconfused]

Thanks for the reply Arctic!   I will look into heteroromantic asexuals.  Never heard that one before.  I see that I posted something similar in 2012 (i totally do not remember doing this)  and everyone seemed to think I was Gray-A.  What is the difference?  Also Gray-Romantic sounds alot like me too.  Tough to know which one I am

 

 I have been trying to reach compromises with sexual people my entire life, and it always ends in failure.  Just recently got dumped by my gf who originally was cool with the idea but it lost its appeal after 2 months for her lol.  I suppose I should try something new.

 

I have successfully had sex maybe 20-30 times in my life, but I have failed to have sex at least 100 times due to ED or just not being attracted enough to the person.  Usually if they are EXTREMELY hot i can manage to have sex.  I have not tried in years though as, like you said, I would rather play video games or smoke weed 8-)

[Ilerneo Fricai]

1 hour ago, dazednconfused said:

Gray-A.  What is the difference?

 

Gray-asexual - A person whose sexuality is somewhere in between sexual and asexual, can have many different definitions

 

(taken from here -> 

)

 

As far as I understand it, a gray-a is someone that fluctuates between ace and allo (making no comment on romantic attraction), while a hetero ace makes a distinction between romantic attraction (heteroromantic) and sexual attraction (asexual)

[ArcticFoxes]

I identify as gray-ace, because I have felt sexual attraction twice in my life, and also because under specific circumstances in kink I can experience something akin to sexual desire, though it's a little different.

 

On the whole I am a hell of a lot closer to ace than allo, though. Especially as the times I've experienced sexual attraction, I can't say I thought much of it. I'm not particularly fond of the whole thing. lol.

 

Perhaps you can relate to any of this?

[The_Reluctant_Dragon]

You say you're attracted to women, but romantically or sexually, if it is sexually, you can be straight, but, just not like sex. If it is romantically, you can be asexual. Keep doing research.