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Recommended Posts

amiadancer?

What do you guys think about ace/ aro people and kissing? I am asexual and aromantic, but I've kissed a couple people. It never felt like anything special, but I didn't dislike it. It's sort of hard for me to tell if I like kissing or just the idea of it. Lately I've been wondering a lot what it's like for allo people. I don't really have a specific question, just curious about other people's experience with it. 

 

Also, I have a really close friend who has kissed me and a couple of other people for stage, and I'm wondering if it would be ok to ask him what the difference is between that and kissing the person he's dating. 

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Red_purple_sugardaddy

Aromantic Asexual here. I like the idea of kissing and all that. Perhaps I love it but I haven't kissed anyone. I mean there are people who have kissed me but I didn't have the urge to initiate it or kiss them back.

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podsnap

Just feels like slobber in my mouth. I too have often wondered what if would be like for it to be special.

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viennaguy94

It like the feeling of kissing somebody that I like, but I don't think it's connected to romantic attraction.

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Grinchmer
5 hours ago, amiadancer? said:

What do you guys think about ace/ aro people and kissing?

I'm fine with them doing it.

 

Personally, I'm not repulsed by it or anything. It can be a nice, bonding experience. Still, I've found it to lose its appeal pretty quickly. (Not talking about pecks here, which I like to give without any sexual and/or romantic intentions behind it)

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swirl_of_blue

I like kissing. I actually think that kissing is to me a lot like sex is for sexuals: I think most people have heard "When it's good, it's really good, and when it's bad, it's still pretty good" said about sex. That's how kissing feels to me. And though I've never kissed someone I was not in a relationship with, I wasn't attracted to and certainly didn't love any of my partners. I hope I some day get the opportunity to kiss someone I actually am attracted to and love, because it will probably be even better then!

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cloudy

Im ace/aro too and personally i find the idea of me kissing people pretty disgusting but that's probably because i hate saliva in any context (sharing water bottles makes me wanna puke lol)

In general though i think its makes sense that if it feels nice, youd want to do it whether or not youre romantically attracted to someone. 

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Samby

I've only ever kissed one person and I found it pretty gross tbh and I had no desire at all to do it again/-practice until I (or we) got better at it (which is kind of why I stopped seeing the guy - that and I was just generally confused about my sexuality at the time).  I'd kind of like to try again though however I think i'd need to know them better than I did that guy.  

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remanyssa

each his own. Kissing is just a cute thing for me. ^_^

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ArcticFoxes

To me, kissing is a sign of affection. Sometimes an affectionate urge will arise and I'll kiss a friend or a special person. The only time I dislike kissing is if I'm lacking that affectionate feeling but someone is trying to kiss me (even just platonically), or very recently, when my romantic feelings about someone changed and I suddenly found myself severely unwilling to kiss them, because I didn't want the kiss to be seen as romantic by them.

 

(In another life, I'd be able to just push through that easily and be numb to it, but now I can acutely feel what I want and don't want to do, which is both amazing and alien to me.)

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Lovelykat

It definitely has to be with someone I care for...but I recently realized I love kissing. I haven't much cared for it in the past, but in my current relationship I quite enjoy it. It makes you feel very close to the person, plus it's just fun! 

 

I think it's completely possible for an aro-ace to enjoy kissing...I'm probably on the aro spectrum myself and I enjoy it. I think it's definitely possible for an aro-ace to enjoy the sensation or the sense of closeness that kissing brings, without necessarily feeling romantic love for their partners. Hell, I can think of two friends that I would kiss right now if given the chance, not because I'm romantically attracted to them but because they're kind of cute and kissing is fun so why not? 

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dissolved

It's one of my most favourite things in this world. I get withdrawal when I haven't been in a relationship for a while, or been in a relationship with someone I'm not bothered about.

 

I've kissed somewhere between 20 and 30 people, most of which were when I was younger and it was the only thing I actually enjoyed about being with another human. It's fine with a random person or someone I don't care about, but it's incomparable to kissing someone I actually care about. No comparison whatsoever.

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Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit

For me, before I had ever kissed anyone I was really nervous and put alot more weight into kissing, but once I had my first, it became less and less of a big deal. Actually this is probably when I first started to realize I was ace. I was never ever nervous about anything sexual after this, because I was realizing that I wasn't all that into it.

 

Right now, the idea of kissing makes me a little uncomfortable. I don't mind doing it, but they are other forms of contact that I enjoy a lot more. 

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ChillaKilla

I'm WTF/aromantic and bisexual and I enjoy it. I'm just an affectionate person by nature, so that probably accounts for it. But I do only kiss people (on the lips) that I have sexual feelings for. Cheek and forehead (and maybe a light peck) is platonic IMO, but I get pretty into it :lol:

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FictoVore.

I'm sexual but could only ever kiss someone I'm in love with and desire sexually. The idea of kissing anyone else literally repulses me, and it would feel really gross and unnatural to me if I did it (which I won't). However the idea of kissing someone i desire fills me with butterflies and can even get me aroused sometimes. Not just kissing their mouth either, I want to kiss every part of their body then gobble them up and keep them inside me forever! >:3

 

..that got away from me a little bit haha.

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amiadancer?

Update-

Thanks for all the replies. It's nice to hear so many different perspectives. I ended up asking my friend about it and he told me that stage kissing and actual kissing feels the same physically but not emotionally, which I thought was interesting. 

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LadyFie

I personally like giving and receiving cute little kisses (just to show platonic or romantic affection for someone), but I find those really wet kisses (using your tongue) kind of disgusting.

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Fifi123

I've only ever kissed one person, my ex boyfriend. The first time we kissed (I was 35 at the moment, btw) it didn't do much for me, if nothing at all. It didn't feel the way other ("normal"?) people say it feels.

I did find out that I can handle kissing without the whole using your tongue thing. The use of tongue made me want to run away. It felt disgusting.
But like I said, I have only ever kissed one person and I am in no rush to find out if a different man might change my views on kissing. lol. Probably not. ^_^ 

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shirokumo

I am only comfortable to smooch my cat on his cat...

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aballofthoughts

I'm not sure. It doesn't feel special, just like neutral, but sometimes I find it not pleasing. But with one person, it actually felt pretty good (again, not everytime). It just makes me confused. 

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OwlEyed

I never liked the idea of kissing on the mouth. In theory it always seemed gross to me. Then, the first time someone tried to make out with me, I literally gagged. Second person it happened with, didn't gag but still felt really gross. Big red X!! I'd rather give a kiss on the cheek, neck, or shoulder to show affection.

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Lichley

Warning TMI and opinions.

Tongue kissing, imo, is really gross. I tried it once (never again) and it felt like their tounge was just forcing its way into my mouth, all slimey and grossly warm. Mouth on mouth kissing, can just be another place to kiss, like the cheek, or nose. It's part of the face, sure, and may be seen to have connotations, but in the end it's just a kiss like any other.

Just my opinions. :)

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Misaki

Kissing is okay. It depends, of course, you just don't kiss anyone anywhere. I personally like tender kisses and not rough ones. When they force their way into your mouth is just gross in my opinion :unsure:

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roland.o

It certainly shouldn't be forced. I like the moment when the tips of the tongues touch, and then your partner opens their mouth to welcome you. If that doesn't happen, forcing is gross indeed.

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F1shCake

I find the idea of lip kissing gross but a peck on the cheek would be nice if it was in a non-romantic way.

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Pramana

Kissing strikes me as awkward and complicated. I don't see the appeal.

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Ajc0607

Yeah I've done it for many years now because all of my partners liked it but it never did anything for me. It's just a weird concept to me and I never get any feeling or "special connections" from it. Honestly? I could live without it. It feels about the same as giving someone a handshake to me honestly. 

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Happy Halloween
On 8/31/2017 at 0:02 AM, amiadancer? said:

What do you guys think about ace/ aro people and kissing? I am asexual and aromantic, but I've kissed a couple people. It never felt like anything special, but I didn't dislike it. It's sort of hard for me to tell if I like kissing or just the idea of it. Lately I've been wondering a lot what it's like for allo people. I don't really have a specific question, just curious about other people's experience with it. 

 

Also, I have a really close friend who has kissed me and a couple of other people for stage, and I'm wondering if it would be ok to ask him what the difference is between that and kissing the person he's dating. 

Kissing someone I like triggers a lot of really good, romantic feelings.

Kissing someone I don't like is like what you described when you kiss people.

Kissing someone I really don't like like kissing a slobbering dog. This has only happened once, when I kissed my best friend on a dare. He's like a brother to me, so it was super awkward.

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Xarixian

I really dislike kissing. It's awkward and kind of gross, even with someone I really like. In the past I've just gone with it because it seemed like a weird thing to dislike, and because I didn't really get myself then, but I'd always be pretty bored if it went on for a while, or I'd have to deflect. There are plenty of other ways to show affection, so I really don't get why everyone's so hung up on that one. It's nice to see that other people feel the same. I feel with most people it's kind of like saying you don't like chocolate.

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ramii1307

I'm currently dating a girl and we have made out plenty of times. I'm heteroromantic and for a while it was really frustrating because my grilfriend would always talk about how great it felt to kiss. She experiences sexual attraction, but for her kissing is an expression of romantic attraction as well. I don't mind kissing, but I always feel like I'm not doing it right. We could be in the middle of making out and she'll be really into it. Meanwhile I'm just there like " this is fun I guess. Maybe I'll pick up some food later". In short, I've learned by now how to perform the actions, but I definitely don't experience emotional connection through kissing nor do I have an inherent desire to do it.

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