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float on

What are you thinking: Gender Edition :)

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float on

OK I know technically this is a chatterbox-style thread. but, well. it belongs here. I know there is the transwhatevers of aven, but that's got some more serious chatting, stuff geared more towards "richer" conversation and notsomuch lighter thoughts.

 

this thread is for lighthearted/light thoughts thoughts, and confessions. what are you thinking? confess your worries? but just something you'd otehrwise not post - so you keep it in 'cause there's no place to just randomly say it?

 

this is the thread for those! :) say 'em here :D

 

warning: I might "spam" this thread if no one else is daring enough to post too ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Right now, this is what I'm thinking:

 

"like, if I can put it on. look at it. appreciate it. not feel too much dysphoria wearing it. and then take it off 'cause I don't want to wear it. fuck, it's time to just brave up to my fears and dress feminine. these masculine shirts aren't good enough no more for my desires of attire."

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malacat

"What are my pronouns today? <_< I appear to have entered the void of vagueness and who knows how long I will be there"

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rivkael

I am once again having name doubts! Yay!

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float on

I was thinking just now, how awkward it was that I used to think my admiration of other women and wanting to friends with them, or to be more like them, was sexual attraction xD made for some uncomfortable moments for sure :unsure:

 

Just now, rivkael said:

I am once again having name doubts! Yay!

haha me too xD I reall yneed to make my name change legal - but. I'm not so sure of my middle name.

 

if it helps, it took me a year or two to find "Teagan" and another year or two to really have no doubts about it

 

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Santa's Little Elf

"You're a guy"

"You're a girl!"

"No i'm not a guy"

"YOU ARE A GIRL!

"NO STUPID YOU ARE A GUY!"

"Okay i'm something inbetween then, now happy??"

"I AM NEITHER!!!"

"Sigh"

 

Welcome to my brain.

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Kimmie.

Why is that bulge down there for?

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rivkael
5 minutes ago, Teagan1 said:

I was thinking just now, how awkward it was that I used to think my admiration of other women and wanting to friends with them, or to be more like them, was sexual attraction xD made for some uncomfortable moments for sure :unsure:

 

haha me too xD I reall yneed to make my name change legal - but. I'm not so sure of my middle name.

 

if it helps, it took me a year or two to find "Teagan" and another year or two to really have no doubts about it

 

Woah, are you me?? XD 

 

I'm actually like 99% sure of the middle name, it's my first name I'm having trouble with. I've been going by 'Rio' for a while but I've been liking it less and less... Probably because when I first chose it, I thought I was nonbinary. I chose it to bridge the gap and so I could be called it by people who didn't know me without having to explain, because it's unisex. 

 

Unfortunately, it's just not holding up against life. My family are skeptical of the name cause it's very 'out there' and the males in my family always have traditional English names, like Charles and Robert. 

 

Its annoying... It's gonna take me a while to sift through them. (Maybe I should just default to John. Haha nope)

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Toothlesss

Heath or Heather... either way I won't be able to stop the innocent store employees from "ma'am'ing" and "lady'ing" me.. *sigh*  

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float on

I'm starting to dream myself as a transgirl/transwoman at least. but, I wish I'd dream myself as a girl/woman more often xD it's dumb to think towards myself and find a male person there, 'cause it's a male-person who feels like an alien to me. some kind of golem,  a detaining vessel to contain my feminine spirit...

 

kinda a romantic description lol :lol: would make for a good sci-fi episode, or a comic book storyline.

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Dan99

That there are so many gender labels I relate to, I decided "F**k it, if I could ever transition, I'm just going with NB guy or demiguy or something." I feel like I'm technically genderfluid, but I could be confusing feeling feminine for gender identity, so idk.

 

I'm also thinking,"I don't know why I'm thinking these things since I'll never call myself anything but a girl and I'll never get surgery (optional TW part)

Spoiler

because it won't do what I want exactly, yes I'm stubborn.

and I don't know if I'd rather stay one sex or switch between things because I'm so indecisive I can't even understand my own identity"

 

EDIT: maybe I'm just attaching myself to how I think my parents see me (or I'm afraid of being different, or i think I'm supposed to be a certain way) ; a shy, pretty, innocent girl who's insecure af, smart, and is too cute to swear. And apparently not enough of a girl, because apparently not caring about my hair being all pretty = a slob who doesn't care about how she looks at all.

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body thoughts

 

I've got schroedinger's tits - happy that I got them comin in and they look so good. but scared AF that they'll stop growing and this'll be all I ever get :unsure:

 

chances are that they'll grow more than this.. but those are chances that slowly diminish ...

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ThinkNotVanilla
2 hours ago, Jayce said:

"You're a guy"

"You're a girl!"

"No i'm not a guy"

"YOU ARE A GIRL!

"NO STUPID YOU ARE A GUY!"

"Okay i'm something inbetween then, now happy??"

"I AM NEITHER!!!"

"Sigh"

 

Welcome to my brain.

 

Sounds like an Old Spice advert... :lol:

 

 

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Santa's Little Elf
8 minutes ago, ThinkNotVanilla said:

 

Sounds like an Old Spice advert... :lol:

 

 

Not really. 

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Dan99

this might be more serious this is supposed to be more light hearted but i'l say it anyway i guess.

 

I hate how people think it's a trend for kids to be trans suddenly. It makes me feel like I look fake even though I realised I have legitimate discomfort with at least my lower area.

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float on

last night in my dream I was a girl :o

 

I didn't realize until two hours after waking LOL it just felt so natural.

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Staley

I am nothing. 

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The-world-is-quiet-here

I had this one specific journal where I kept all my gender rantings, and I somehow lost it. Anyways, I'm going back through all my old journals now and rereading my younger-me's gender stuff. It's kinda nice, to look back at it, remember what it felt like, and know that I've grown since then. 

I'm also rewriting all my gender stuff in a new journal, so it's all in one place. I think it'll be helpful to look back at it in the future, as I have done in the past.

I want to give younger The-world-is-quiet-here a hug. You can practically hear the anxiety in their writing.

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float on

body thoughts

 

what do feminine legs look like? are my legs womanly enough ?

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float on

more body thoughts (good :D )

 

 

Slowly each week my boobs grow in just a little bit more.

Slowly each week my facial hair is more slow to return.

Slowly each week my nipple hair diminishes :redface:

a lot less soreness of them these past few days since my last shave (trust me having coarse hair protruding from your areola is NOT comfy D: )

 

 

also, the skin on my chest is SO smooth now :wub: my hand just glides across and affirms my gender by the delicate touch of it LOL :P awk to confess but IDGAF.

 

and honestly the fact that I can FEEL this is amazing :wub: for as longs as I can remember, my chest was Numb to touch. no sensation of it. only the sensing of pressure if you pushed down (aka the pain response to pinching) - does not count. but now, it's almost like I actually have a chest for once in my life, like there actually exists body there that is mine to feel and know it's real. :D:D

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Charlie Weasley

all my clothes are from my mum. I only have women's clothing

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Any

I rotate on a roundabout just like above... yes no girl boy none both inbetween neither whatever nothing heeeeelp, I am getting seasick... ;) At the moment thinking and feeling neutral and unattracted to anything but chilling ;) just fatigued and no more power. some dysphoria about parts...

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float on

yeah sometimes it's good to rest.

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999papercranes

I love my voice? Which is a little strange to say, but it's just so deep and guy-sounding and rough. It makes me feel like a badass even if I'm not. I kind of suspect I may have higher testosterone levels than the average AFAB, but I don't know. I might get it checked one day out of curiosity. 

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I Am Mel

Brain therapist: What do you feel like?

Me:  ....I feel like me.... Just me

Brain therapist:  Let's try again, do you feel like a man?

Me:  no.... but I got mistaken for a one yesterday :D

Brain therapist:  Well do you feel like a woman

Me:  ....Oh I Give Up!!!! what does feeling like a "woman" actually feel like?!?!?!?!?! :@

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Dan99

"Don't be silly, you're a girl, you just don't like what you have down there and you're not very girly, and that's okay. Maybe you're sex repulsed and trying to force yourself not to be. "NSFW continuation of this thought:

Spoiler

Proceeded by getting aroused by fantasies and angry that I have a clit instead of a penis

 

"Stop repressing being trans, you totally are."

 

TW?:

Spoiler

"SDFGHJHGFDS, Neuralink, Future Timeline, google news, something update and say that everyone can live in VR already, I'm sick of this body and want to get out of it right now *cue crying and whining like a 5 year old*"

 

 

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Santa's Little Elf

Body thoughts TMI

 

 

Is it wrong not wanting surgery but still wanting to pass as a guy? I also confess i secretly wish i had an STP and a packer

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[noize:injekktion]

I hate my voice. ._. I sound like 12 years old. 

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Emery.

Jayce, of course it's not. High five by the way.

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Emery.
On 29.08.2017 at 5:16 PM, (D)anny said:

EDIT: maybe I'm just attaching myself to how I think my parents see me (or I'm afraid of being different, or i think I'm supposed to be a certain way) ; a shy, pretty, innocent girl who's insecure af, smart, and is too cute to swear. And apparently not enough of a girl, because apparently not caring about my hair being all pretty = a slob who doesn't care about how she looks at all.

Yeah, you do. 

You are your own person. You're allowed to your own outlook at things, and on yourself. 

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Santa's Little Elf
14 minutes ago, Emery. said:

Jayce, of course it's not. High five by the way.

High five! Yay! I'm not the only one :D 

 

1 hour ago, alpha decay said:

I hate my voice. ._. I sound like 12 years old. 

Awwww *hugs* but you'll always be special to me :wub: 

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