All Fantasies?

[Kat1212]

Hey people!

 

I've had an interesting realization a few weeks ago: The first sign for me that I might be ace (or at least the first 'official' sign that had me 'well darn') was the thing about not imagining myself in my own sexual fantasies. For me it's mostly nameless, faceless people taking the place of the 'protagonist'.

 

But then I realized: I don't feature in ANY of my fantasies - even non-sexual ones. Like, you imagine sticking it to the rude barista next time you buy coffee, or finally finishing your degree and getting a kickass job ... For me it's always a nameless, faceless person doing that. And to take it a step further: that rude barista's face also doesn't seem to feature. 

Literally all my fantasies revolve around people with behaviors and backstories smilar to the real thing but never with the same names or faces.

 

This is the point where I wondered 'Am I weird or does that happen to others too?'

So, does any of that sound familiar?

 

This has been really bothering me.

[Scottthespy]

I have this happen, but for me I think part of it is that my brain doesn't process faces well, so unless its some one I've known super well for years, I cant really picture their face at all, let alone with any detail. So if I'm having any fantasies with people in them at all, the faces are almost always indistinct.

 

On the other hand, while I AM in most of my fantasies, its not my currently existing self. Its 'me' with skills I don't have, knowledge I haven't learned, experiences I haven't experienced. And now that I think about it, often with a different physical appearance...one I COULD easily attain, but never felt any desire to. My internal vision of myself does not match my external reality, but I only just realized that while typing this.  

[viennaguy94]

I often imagine having conversations with friends and I think about how those conversations would turn out. My imaginations never have great detail, maybe because brain capacity is small or maybe because detail is not important. Sometimes I don't even see faces or people, I just think about what is really important in that fantasy, for example the content of the conversation. I don't know about other people, but for me that's why answering your question is difficult – usually the fantasies don't have a lot of detail.

 

However, I answered often. My mind usually thinks about situations that include me.

[Kat1212]

@Scottthespy 

I heard that the brain is a bit weird about faces anyway. I just get a distinct feel about who this person is supposed to be; it just happens so incredibly rarely that it's almost not worth mentioning. Mostly is just a feeling of 'not somebody I know' in the same way it might be 'this is friend x/y'.

 

@viennaguy94

This is really interesting - I never thought about how fantasies differ in general between people. 

I remember my mother telling me something like 'If you can't fall asleep, try to think of a story to distract you', kind of like making my own bedtime story. From then on out all of my fantasies sort of took on storybook style with third person narrative and a lot of detail; sometimes they end up quite elaborat:D. I just assumed that it's similar with most people.

 

I guess it just stood out so clearly that the 'protagonist' isn't me because I keep thinking about them as 'she' and never 'I'.

 

[Laplace]

I kinda have a flair for the dramatic when I can (normally I'm pretty serious) like when playing games. I like thinking up some cool stories/concepts for fictional realms, and I really like swinging practice weapons around (I'm not a psycho I swear 😫😞). So I kinda like imagining stuff. I'm fine with being the protagonist but if I was ever in a story, I'd kinda like to be an important side character instead of the main character.