Maybe Asexual? Just confused

[DatGirl]

Hey, this is actually my first post. I've been reading some stuff here for a while, but just decided to create an account today... I am actually kinda confused, so I thought "why not give it a try?" The fact is that I've been questioning if I am or am not asexual (maybe even aromantic, but I don't really think so). 

 

Just to give some background I'm 15 y/o, a girl, and not actually English speaker... so sorry if i commit any mistake.

 

I don't really remember feeling attracted to anyone in my whole life, but as I also have this constant thought of "but what if I feel the sexual attraction and just don't know it is attraction?" I don't think I ever felt it, but my head still buzzing "how can you be sure, if you don't know how it feels?" 

 

I also don't think I have ever had a crush, I remember one (maybe two) guys who maybe could be called as crushes, but it was a long time ago and I was really young (like 5th grade young) and there was (obviously) nothing sexual, and I think neither really romantic about it. Probably the closest thing from a crush I had was for fictional characters (lol).

 

I really like reading, and I remember sometimes when I was reading kissing scenes and some stuff around that, I would feel some stuff that could be described as arousal (maybe), but I'm also not sure.

 

Some weeks ago, my younger cousin was discovered watching porn, and I was talking with another of my cousins (which has my age) about it. She was like "omg... how did it happen?" And I answer "right? I mean, I don't really watch porn but everyone knows that you have to erase the browser history after all" and she laughed and said she might have done it in the past.

I am mentioning this 'coz I never really watched that kind of stuff, I never wanted or felt the need to (like I know a lot, if not most, of people at my age do), and I thought that this might tell something...

 

But I'm just confused, not sure of anything...

 

I think I just wanted to say that to someone, and if one of you could help me it'd be awesome!

[embracetheace]

Hi there! Welcome to AVEN  

 

It's hard for me to help you with recognizing sexual attraction because I've never really felt it either... haha. But from what I've gathered the general idea seems to be that feeling sexual attraction is wanting to be sexually intimate with someone. About reading and experiencing arousal- some aces do become aroused by images or writing, but this still doesn't mean that they are sexually attracted to anyone (they're still 100% ace). There's a difference between being aroused by the idea of something and wanting to physically act it out with another person. If you've never felt the need to look at porn or masturbate, you could just have a low libido. All people, asexual or not, have a wide range of libido from really low to super high. So this doesn't necessarily relate to you being asexual, but it's certainly more common among asexual people. There's still aces that have really high libido though.

 

Overall, it definitely sounds like you could be asexual!  Possibly aro too, but that's way more complicated (I'm still figuring it out for myself lol). Keep in mind that you can decide to identify as asexual, but it's ok if your orientation changes, too! Nothing is set in stone, so don't ever feel pressured to fit in to a concrete label. Aces are also super diverse, so if anything you're definitely on the asexual spectrum. Anyway, I hope this helps~

[roland.o]

Hello N3arell, and welcome to these forums :-)

 

19 hours ago, N3arell said:

The fact is that I've been questioning if I am or am not asexual

I'm 47, and also currently questioning a bit :-) Do you need an answer to your question now? Because if you don't, I'd suggest that you let it rest for a year or three, and come back to it then. But if you'd rather have a label now, it's perfectly OK if you want to identify as ace. And you're also free to change labels at any time, for example if you experience something that makes you question again in the future.