Does it sound like i'm Asexual!? Please help

[LondonFashionQueen23]

I can visibly see certain people are good looking and i'd have no problem with kissing them but no urge to have sex with them atall. I suppose I could be demisexual as in certain situations where I've had feelings for someone I start "Fancying" them so to speak - In that case, I have no problem with becoming intimate with them (Kissing, touching, oral etc) and even enjoy it! If a good looking stranger was to start touching me like that i'd be disgusted. The big problem I have though is when i'm with somebody I like and trust, my head wants to have sex with them but my body doesn't. Fingering hurts me, I don't stretch or become lubricated - Even with lube it seems to dry up after about 2 minutes. It feels painful not pleasurable. Sex is almost impossible, I have tried several times and I just don't become lubricated and turned on enough even though my head wants to my body isn't responding. When I masturbate it is also painful unless I am watching porn and takes me a LONG time to even get turned on (Still fingering hurts apart from at the end) If I just went to finger myself randomly it would hurt a lot and also be extremely boring. A lot of the time I do feel horny but masturbation just hurts and does nothing so there is no way to relieve it. I do really want to start having sex and I've got no idea how to go about it - Or how to get more wet? Are there any pills I can take? Do I sound Asexual to you?

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

It's possible you could be demisexual.

But I think you should see a gynecologist about your issue, just to make sure nothing is hormonal here.

3 hours ago, LondonFashionQueen23 said:

The big problem I have though is when i'm with somebody I like and trust, my head wants to have sex with them but my body doesn't. Fingering hurts me, I don't stretch or become lubricated - Even with lube it seems to dry up after about 2 minutes. It feels painful not pleasurable. Sex is almost impossible, I have tried several times and I just don't become lubricated and turned on enough even though my head wants to my body isn't responding. When I masturbate it is also painful unless I am watching porn and takes me a LONG time to even get turned on (Still fingering hurts apart from at the end) If I just went to finger myself randomly it would hurt a lot and also be extremely boring. A lot of the time I do feel horny but masturbation just hurts and does nothing so there is no way to relieve it. I do really want to start having sex and I've got no idea how to go about it - Or how to get more wet? Are there any pills I can take? Do I sound Asexual to you?

This sent red flags to me. It is possible that maybe you just might not like sex or masturbation. And if it turns out that is okay, that is fine, remember that.

However, though I could be misinterpreting this wrong, it seems like you are suffering from this.  It sounds like something isn't right...down there. And as stated before, I think you should get checked out by a gynecologist and see what is going on here. Because when you are touching yourself and there isn't lubrication, something isn't working right.

3 hours ago, LondonFashionQueen23 said:

I can visibly see certain people are good looking and i'd have no problem with kissing them but no urge to have sex with them atall. I suppose I could be demisexual as in certain situations where I've had feelings for someone I start "Fancying" them so to speak - In that case, I have no problem with becoming intimate with them (Kissing, touching, oral etc) and even enjoy it! If a good looking stranger was to start touching me like that i'd be disgusted.

Hmmm....it is possible as I have stated before you could be demisexual, because with demisexuality from my understanding, you don't experience sexual attraction until you form an emotional bond with someone, and that emotional bond doesn't have to be romantic. The demisexual here could probably answer you better in this area than I can.

 

But in terms of your problems sexually, that, I believe, has nothing to do with being asexual. I am no doctor, but I think something is going on down there and I think you should seriously see a doc as I stated before if this is really bothering you.

 

Just remember, regardless of whether you're asexual or not, always know you are welcomed here.

 

[Eziio]

You could be demisexual since you get attracted after a connection but everything else sounds like a medical problem,best to go talk to a doctor about it.

[deltaX]

Sex and masturbation shouldn't be as painful as you describe them to be.  It's possible that you may be asexual or grey-asexual, but it's also possible that the pain you feel when having sex is the problem.  Especially since you say you want to have sex, my advice would be to go to a doctor and see if everything is okay.  Once any medical issues are sorted out, you can always re-evaluate how you feel with regards to sex once pain isn't an issue.

[Clumsy Fairy]

Pro tip: Don't say to a doctor "I am asexual". Because they will get all sorts of in a knot. Telling a doctor that your symptoms are as a result of a belief you will tie their hands and also indicate that you don't actually want to change, or seek help, and they would be very reluctant to do anything. You are saying "My disorder is my identity" (they will think about litigation), they may also think "they are happy with it", or they may send you in the direction of a shrink... With doctors, tell them what you are feeling, and what you want to achieve. ( I might try and explain this better when I am less tired ).. I might just bring this up in the "other" place.