the_shaamy Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 As I'm the only Ace in my friend group I am the only one without Tinder, I am also the only one that hasn't been in a relationship in over a year because I find it difficult to meet new people. I am starting college in a week and all of my friends are going off to different parts of the country so I thought the app would be a great opportunity for me to meet someone close by to where I study and I'm more than ready for a new relationship. Is Tinder a good idea for asexuals? if so should I say I'm asexual in my bio or wait and tell my possible matches down the line? or should I try a different dating site/app? Link to post Share on other sites
viennaguy94 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I heard that a lot of people use Tinder just for hookups. However, that also applies for most other dating sites/apps. If you meet new people randomly in a bar, there is also always a high chance that they are just looking for sex. I guess you can never know. It would certainly speed the filtering process up if you added "asexual" to your bio if you are comfortable coming out to everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
debaser Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 There's a new Tinder-esque app for asexuals called ACEapp, but I'm not sure how many people are on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I'm not even ace and I wouldn't touch Tinder with a ten foot pole *shudder* Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I have used it and I liked it weird as that sounds, first I like it unlike other dating apps you both have to like one another before you can even talk to them. So you can kind of filter through people if they say right out they want a hook up. Most people are pretty straight forward on there. Another thing I have seen in my experience is, you will have to do some digging around to find someone you actually connect with. I have met a very great person on there, and it kind of happened when I wasn't really expecting it. Link to post Share on other sites
FlaafyTaffy Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Tinder is just like any other dating app. If you want to use it, go for it. but it will be hard to meet people who just want to be friends and hang out casually. Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I personally think that dating apps should be banned, they're a terrible idea >.< I've had no success at all with them, it's 95% people offering prostitution services, 5% dick pics from guys pretending to be girls, and everyone's looking for sex no strings attached... It's a place where you can truly experience the filth in humanity. Do it if you want, but don't expect sunshine and flowers. Link to post Share on other sites
WaffleGrace Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 If you go into eyes wide open to what it is, then I say go for it. Most people on there ARE only looking for hookups, but I used it and have been pleasantly surprised. Everyone on there is pretty up front with what they want, so you can quickly weed out the ones that are obviously not going to fit. As as to whether you should say that you're ace in your bio is up to you. But if you state up front what you're looking for, to make friends in the area, then that should be enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Busrider Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 2 hours ago, NerotheReaper said: I have met a very great person on there, and it kind of happened when I wasn't really expecting it. Isn't that always the case anywhere? I don't use Tinder yet; since I am an unfinished product to sell. When I looked at it it seemed to charge whatever I am higher than other folks? Best advice to offer: As a student, try to look for a free dating / socializing app. Others' intentions shouldn't matter. Girls rule & no means no. So (ab)use what you have at hand and see what you'll get. - It seems worth trying. Link to post Share on other sites
JayDee1212 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Tinder is a good tool I think, especially for someone like myself who can be inept at flirting with someone new...but you have to be careful with it. Be picky. If you get a vibe from someone that they are only looking for a hookup then you need to run in the other direction. If you get a bad vibe from someone, cut it off right then and there. In my experience about 90% of people are just looking for hookups...but there is that 10% that is looking for a genuine, loving relationship and you could very well find a good match for you if you're smart about it and choose wisely. Pay attention to what the person chooses to put in their profile, their opening pickup lines, and how much effort they put in to getting to know you. All can be clear signs of what the person is like and what kind of relationship he is looking for. I used to use it and didn't have the greatest experience with it, but I know others who have met their significant others there and ended up with long term happy relationships! You never know! Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 1 hour ago, Busrider said: Isn't that always the case anywhere? I don't use Tinder yet; since I am an unfinished product to sell. When I looked at it it seemed to charge whatever I am higher than other folks? Best advice to offer: As a student, try to look for a free dating / socializing app. Others' intentions shouldn't matter. Girls rule & no means no. So (ab)use what you have at hand and see what you'll get. - It seems worth trying. It is the case anywhere, but I was about to rid of the app but then got a good match. Knowing someone's intentions is a good thing, because being on the same page with someone is important. It can save a lot of time, and it is only respectful of the other person to be honest about what you want. You dont want to be expecting a long term relationship, and the other person is only wanting a short term relationship or the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
danvers Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I don't have any experience with Tinder, but most people won't know what asexual means, and you might not want to constantly have to explain it, so maybe saying something about sex being off the table would work better than actually using the word asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Apathetic Echidna Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 On 22/08/2017 at 3:25 PM, Linh Cinder said: I don't have any experience with Tinder, but most people won't know what asexual means, and you might not want to constantly have to explain it, so maybe saying something about sex being off the table would work better than actually using the word asexual. I definitely agree with this. I have heard a few people complain that people ignored the asexual orientation written on their profile, but it might be ignorance rather than ignoring. Be as blunt as you want to be, and saying 'No sex ever!' is a fair alternative if you aren't comfortable coming out as ace. Link to post Share on other sites
EggplantWitch Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I've not used Tinder, but out of all the dating apps available I associate Tinder with casual dating and short-term hookups more than the others. I might be biased, since I have OKCupid and quite enjoy it for the fact you can set your orientation to 'Asexual' and something else, which is a very simple way of marking out your romantic and sexual orientations at once without having to give every person you speak to a vocabulary lesson. I believe you can also search for exclusively asexual people within a given area if you want, and there's a filter you can turn on that blocks all messages coming from people below a certain 'match percentage' with you, making it great for filtering out the types of people who just want a hookup (and probably some others who you might actually get along with, but that's the price you have to pay). I'm sure there are genuine, non-sex driven people on Tinder too but it sounds like it's harder to deliberately seek them out. Fortunately there's nothing stopping you from trying more than one website if you want to! If you decide that you don't get on with the crowd of a certain app you can just delete your profile and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
doggalogga Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 My impression of Tinder is that it's just a place to get sex. I'm single, and many people have told me to get on there. As I have no interest in that sort of thing, I've steered clear. I'd like to meet the right person eventually though. Link to post Share on other sites
Theheartyaerie Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Tinder is kind of awful, Most of the people on there are on there for one thing, even if they aren't looking for a hook up they are looking for sex as an end result. If you do choose to get on Tinder anyways you may want to put Asexual in the bio, just note that you're going to be doing a lot of explaining Ace to your matches. Link to post Share on other sites
lilgroundhog Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 If you're just looking to meet people, find out what groups are on campus. I know early fall semester, my undergrad had a organization fair. Starting college is also a big adjustment, especially if you're not living at home. Link to post Share on other sites
purush Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 You should try ACEapp you can find friends, partner or just a chat buddy from different countries there ACEapp on play store Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 Tinder sounds horrible to me, a bit like a meat market. At work , I hear people being described in the most atrocious way while being viewed on Tinder. Link to post Share on other sites
Mashumaroo Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 I've used tinder and my experience was a bit different but I did not use it in the USA so maybe it's a bit different. My experience was mostly negative but in a different way. I only had one person just wanting sex (openly) but then, I swiped left on anyone who hinted at that in their profile and that one didn't. Most people seemed, and this is my experience with all dating sites, to not be very serious about it and so most all messages are ignored or given halfhearted, one or two word replies, even after they've swiped right or liked you. So it's really confusing because you think they find something about you attractive and then don't reply to your messages even when I never even hint at sex (maybe that's my problem?). Even the ones I do have a connection with will -always- just abruptly stop responding to all contact within a couple of weeks and just leave me wondering what the hell I did or said to make them shut me out completely without warning. So overall I'd say bad idea, I just ended up having overall lower self confidence and greater anxiety. Link to post Share on other sites
neecee Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 I don't know a whole lot about tinder and dating, but if you're looking for possible friendships the app Bumble has a setting for finding friends! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Monteiro Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 To be honest, Tinder for asexuals might end up being a bad idea. There looks more like a meat/fish market, where you tend to buy what looks most beautiful, well, that's what most people do there. You may end up eventually finding someone who is cool, but if you are after a relationship, you being asexual, it will be more difficult. An application that I have found that is good is OKCupid, there you have the option to select what you are trying to find (friendship, relationship or just hookup) and talk about whether you are asexual or not (in the sexual orientation options). I had found three people or more in my area who were asexual through this app, so give a try, who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Lipbalm Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 for aces, I'd go for Grindr, they are more likely to be accepting of aces Link to post Share on other sites
Lipbalm Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 for ace guys I mean Link to post Share on other sites
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