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Why do you or have you found it so hard to explain asexuality to someone you know?


Malek4life

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Personally the hardest part about trying to explain asexuality to someone, is because the type of asexual I am leaves so much room for questions, confusions and doubt. Not for me, but for others. Couple that with the way the human brain works and you got yourself a relatively chaotic shit-show.

 

--> I am asexual

--> I do not and never have ever felt sexual attraction to anyone. Literally ever.

--> I have no interest in having sex with someone else.

--> I don't find people sexually attractive, but can find them aesthetically pleasing.

 

--> I have had sex and plan to in the future.

--> I do watch and very much enjoy watching porn (specifically, hentai).

--> I do get horny.

--> I do masterbate.

--> I have a very healthy respect for the human body.

 

Which usually results in questions and understandings such as:

 

'You think that girl has a nice butt, that's sexual attraction'

'how can you date someone if you're not attracted to them'

'You've had sex, you're not asexual'

'You watch porn so you're interested in sex'

'You get horny, so you want to have sex'

 

In my experience with it, it seems nearly impossible to get your average sexual person to be able to open their minds up for just one second. It's hard to get them to separate attraction, from sexual attraction. To separate your bodies natural response with sexual interest, a sexual organs natural ability to function with wanting to have sex. The desire to masterbate, from wanting to have intercourse. More times then not, all of these are locked in peoples brains and their understanding center as the same thing. They can not understand one without the other. I mean I've given my boyfriend a headache trying to get him to understand, and I've given myself a migraine trying to get my own father to understand. It's like I offer the concept and I can practically see the box saying "DOES NOT COMPUTE" or "DATA UNAVAILABLE" in their eyes.

 

Why do you guys find it so hard to explain, or get others to understand asexuality?? Or, when you've tried in the past what was the main mental roadblock???

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You have enumerated most of the responses I would get.

 

I stay in the closet for the simple reason that sexuals just don't get it. Sex to them is everything.

 

It's a lot like trying to sell roses in a fish market.

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10 minutes ago, asexjoe said:

"It's a lot like trying to sell roses in a fish market."

That, is a perfect and very amusing example XD

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It's an old expression.

 

If you want to know what I'm up against as an asexual, married man, just google sexless marriage.

 

I admitted to my best friend once that I haven't had sex with anyone in years, and he looked at me like I was a pedophile.

 

We haven't talked about it, since.

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Lucas Monteiro
58 minutes ago, asexjoe said:

Sex to them is everything.

I can confirm that this is totally true, especially for people my age (I'm 19 years old), they only know to talk about sex, and worse still I end up going through sexual situations when I do not even want to go through them.

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