AussieIsAce Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Ive been out as asexual since i was 11 years old. I'm currently 18 and i still feel like im fighting it. im a germophobia asexual. i dont like kissing, cuddling or hand holding and defiantly not sex. im very grossed out and repulsed by those things. Yet i really would love to have a girl/boy friend but how can i if i cant even do those things....i feel like if i date it would just be a friendship cause we wouldn't do romantic stuff. Ive been fighting myself for so long, forcing myself to kiss people and making myself vomit is my M.O. im really lost. should i keep trying to find someone who is going to give up all the stuff sexual people enjoy or just be alone? im not really sure what to do about it... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cloudy Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Do whatever feels comfortable with you never force yourself to do stuff you dont want to do just to conform to societal norms. You may find another asexual aromantic and maybe go into a queer/quasi-platonic partnership. I would say dont go into a relationship expecting a sexual person to drop all of their personal desires - find someone who really respects you and your wishes. Take your time there is no rush and dont feel like you have to have a bf/gf, sometimes social networks and friendships can be just as or even more fulfilling 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion 0 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Do you dislike the very concept of cuddling/kissing, or do you think it's more to do with your germphobia? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Doctor13 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Can relate quite a lot! I'm a germaphobic ace as well - not as bad as I used to be, but still wary of germs. My recommendation to you is just to wait until you meet someone who loves you so much that they just want to be around you even without all the ordinary relationship stuff like kissing, etc., and they'll just want you to be happy & healthy. In the meantime, just remember you're not alone Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Granted a persons body fluids are exactly the same as your own, as long as hygiene is fine and don't have any visible illness, kissing the boyfriend for me is usually fine> It is quit off putting kissing right after either of us have eaten, so i don't allow that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AussieIsAce Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 23 hours ago, Confusion 0 said: Do you dislike the very concept of cuddling/kissing, or do you think it's more to do with your germphobia? im not germphobic...its just what i call my kind of asexual. i hate all intimate things. kissing is worse than sex tbh. id rather suck a dick and cry over kiss and vomit. im just very very very asexual. i want to find someone who doesn't want to kiss and cuddle just act like friends yet live together and such, like a real partner Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I would recommend looking into the concept of queerplatonic relationships, since it sounds similar to what you might be looking for. I will say though that it's perfectly normal and okay to be repulsed by kissing or cuddling. I know I personally hate kisses and will probably never kiss anyone again because it just feels gross and wrong to me. It might be tough to form a relationship since most people don't feel that way, but it certainly isn't impossible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I wouldn't recommend giving up the idea. You're 18 years old after all. There's still a lot to come. You already learned that it's pointless to force yourself to do certain things, which is a good start. Forcing oneself to "like" things does not work. Personally, I can't relate to your longing for a relationship at all because I'm meh about the prospect. However I would quit trying to find someone. The best of things usually happen when you're NOT looking for it. I just happen to bump into people who then ended up staying in my life... The key is to be happy with yourself. You already found out a few things about yourself and there surely is someone out there who is just into that. Let go and it will find you. Best of luck 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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