Can I identify as one thing now and change my mind?

[Hurricane_KFF]

 

Could I say I'm Demisexual for now even though I'm not positive? Is it ok to change my mind? Or call myself something else if I find a better term?

 

I know enough to know I'm not normal.

 

I am fairly sure I identify as Demisexual but Its hard to be sure what I am because I'm only a high schooler and don't have a lot of experience with relationships. But I've looked at several definitions of Demisexual and i check off most boxes. I know there's also a pretty broad definition of Demi and it can be a bit different for everyone. 

 

[Puck]

Welcome to AVEN @Hurricane_KFF!! I hope it can be a good resource for you

 

First, of course! You can totally change your label as you grow and understand yourself more. You can even go without a label for a while if you feel that's best. It's about you communicating yourself and your feelings to others, nothing more. It's not a rigid box you have to stick to, it's just a tool for you to use to express yourself.

 

Secondly, your sexuality does NOT mean that you are not normal. You are, you are a person like any other person. You'd be surprised how much more nuanced sexuality is then society says. You are excellent as is

 

Hope that helps and I hope you enjoy our little community!

[Jackninja5]

It is alright to change your preference. It depends entirely on what you feel right now.

[quietcrayon]

If demi seems like a remotely fitting label you can identify with it. Its 100% okay to change it later. Sexuality can be fluid, sometimes its a phase, sometimes it might not have been the right label after all. All thats okay. Demi is fitting now? Regardless of your age and if it might change later, you can identify as it.

[ConfusedButHere]

I say when it comes down to what you identify, go with what you feel now. It's perfectly fine and normal for you to change your label as you grow and learn more about yourself.

[roland.o]

1 hour ago, Hurricane_KFF said:

I am fairly sure I identify as Demisexual but Its hard to be sure what I am because I'm only a high schooler and don't have a lot of experience with relationships.

I'm 47 and it's still hard to be sure. Always use the best words you have available to express what you feel. And never be afraid to learn more, about yourself or about available words. Good luck and all the best along the way!

[R3dTr1ckz]

I was Demi for awhile until I realized I was actually Aro-Ace... Long story short, even I'm discovering myself still, so don't give up.. You go for thee gold.

[dragon_nerd]

Welcome to AVEN Hurricane_KFF. Here is some cake 

And yes, you can change your labels and it's perfectly normal. I'm still confused about my romantic orientation so my labels are going all over the place 

[AshenPhoenix]

Absolutely! Sexuality is an adventure, an experience, something we've got to discover. For some, like myself, you change labels as you go and discover more about yourself. For others, they know from day one, and it stays that way till the day they die. But it doesn't have to be like that. Choose the label you think best describes you now. If you  find that, somewhere along the way in this journey of life, you change you mind, go ahead and do that! I'm still figuring myself out, and it's been years! There's no shame in not being sure.

 

(Also, welcome to AVEN! Hope you have a great time here)

[TRexPhilbo]

You definitely can! You are not the labels you use to describe yourself; the labels are just an easy shorthand to describe your experiences, and if your experiences change then so should the labels. Some people use labels with -fluid or -flux suffixes so that they can cover a wide range of experiences (such as genderfluid or aceflux), and others prefer to choose different labels at different times. It's completely up to you.

 

Also: Consider that labels aren't perfect, which is why you can find lists of 100+ identifiers, where people try and find a place for themselves on an infinite continuum. Alternatively, your label(s) can cover your majority experience. What I mean by this is (as someone who doesn't subscribe to the "dictionary is all" idea for language) that if you find some small change that doesn't really make much of a difference to you, then you're free to keep identifying as demi if that's what you prefer. Take Hank Green. He identifies as straight, but admits that he's "a little bit bi", but he continues to identify as straight because he's "not bi enough to care", in his own words.

Quote

I think I'm a little bit bi, but like, it's just a bag of worms to open up that' I'm just like "meh"... I'm not bi enough to care.

 

To draw from my own experiences: While my sexual/romantic orientations were easy to pin down, my gender was a little different. When I first realised I wasn't necessary completely/at all cis male, I decided on a number of gender labels in turn (in no particular order: agender, nonbinary, demiguy, genderfluid), before settling on a "meh" attitude to it with the help of this video.

 

My point here is that going through (or even "trying on") labels isn't a bad thing, and can actually be a vital part of your journey of self-discovery (and rediscovery if you need to do that).

 

Finally, "normal" is inherently subjective and people tend to use it to put people they don't understand in some "other" place that isn't theirs. As in "I'm normal; you're abnormal and wrong". That's just completely incorrect. Generally speaking, people are more complex than just one thing, and painting them as wrong based on that singular metric is astoundingly closeminded. Granted, within the context of sexuality you're not typical of the heteronormative narrative our society has, but that doesn't mean you're not normal, just different and just as amazing and important as anyone else.

 

Good luck!  

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

4 hours ago, Hurricane_KFF said:

 

Could I say I'm Demisexual for now even though I'm not positive? Is it ok to change my mind? Or call myself something else if I find a better term?

 

I know enough to know I'm not normal.

 

I am fairly sure I identify as Demisexual but Its hard to be sure what I am because I'm only a high schooler and don't have a lot of experience with relationships. But I've looked at several definitions of Demisexual and i check off most boxes. I know there's also a pretty broad definition of Demi and it can be a bit different for everyone. 

 

Of course. It's totally ok to change if it doesn't feel right to you anymore. Only you can decide which lable may fit you. Sexual orientation/identity is a pretty flexible thing. 

[Scott1989]

5 hours ago, Hurricane_KFF said:

 

Could I say I'm Demisexual for now even though I'm not positive? Is it ok to change my mind? Or call myself something else if I find a better term?

 

I know enough to know I'm not normal.

 

I am fairly sure I identify as Demisexual but Its hard to be sure what I am because I'm only a high schooler and don't have a lot of experience with relationships. But I've looked at several definitions of Demisexual and i check off most boxes. I know there's also a pretty broad definition of Demi and it can be a bit different for everyone. 

 

Think everyone has answered this now, and I agree with the opinion that you can change when you realise the label doesn't fit.

 

For the bold bit, I always like to tell people that it's normal to be weird, but weird to be normal.

[Grumpy Alien]

Of course. That's completely normal.  

[Patronus_Cat]

Your sexuality can change or you may discover later you are something else. Everything is valid and is your own experience. Everything you go through is also normal. Asexuality spectrum isn't abnormal. Suit yourself to any term you want. Just go through life as it happens