Asexual Atheists?

[skycake]

Asexual Antitheist here. If I could choose one person to bring back from the dead, it'd be Hitch.

[Roy M.]

I'm not sure what's worse, being an asexual in a sexual society, or being an atheist in a religious society!

[IanH]

Asexual Aromantic Agender Agnostic Atheist

I guess I'm on the A Team...

Damn, I wouldn't be able to pull that off. :(

The best I could do is Asexual, Agnostic, Atheist. I'd add Apolitical, but that doesn't mean not belonging to a particular political party, it means not interested in politics altogether. I'm lame. Oh well.

[IanH]

Asexual Antitheist here. If I could choose one person to bring back from the dead, it'd be Hitch.

Holy crap, I didn't know I could add Antitheist and not be judged, I posted God Mocker as a sugar coated version, but now that you posted that, let me add, ANTITHEIST HERE TOO!!! :D

[IanH]

I'm not sure what's worse, being an asexual in a sexual society, or being an atheist in a religious society!

In my experience, being Atheist in a religious society is worse, but then again, almost everybody in my family is tolerant of people who aren't in the heterosexual category. My grandmother didn't freak out when I told her I was Asexual, but I have a feeling that if I tell her I'm an Atheist, she'll go bat sh*t crazy. She was hostile when I left the Catholic church for the Methodist church, so I can't imagine how she'll treat me when she finds out I'm an Atheist because at least as a Methodist, I was still Christian. :(

[Prisma]

Asexual and atheist here, too. I was raised in a very secular family, almost to the level of antitheism, but I did try to convince myself in a few religions in order to try and believe in afterlife. Needless to say, it didn't work- it all just sounds too stupid to me and doesn't make sense.

What's "humanist"?

[Rockblossom]

What's "humanist"?

The Affirmations of Humanism

[Prisma]

What's "humanist"?

The Affirmations of Humanism

Is there a TLDR version?

Like a christian is someone who believes in Jesus and an atheist is a person who doesn't believe in any religion?

[Prisma]

Now that I think about it, there's another great expression I heard that probably all of us can identify with:

Polyatheist. Because there are many gods I don't believe in!

[daveb]

What's "humanist"?

The Affirmations of Humanism

Is there a TLDR version?

Like a christian is someone who believes in Jesus and an atheist is a person who doesn't believe in any religion?

A humanist believes in humans :)

(tongue-in-cheek remark, but a kernel of truth)

[poindexter]

To me, Humanism seeks to uphold the importance of reason, empiricism and empathy for our fellow creatures when making ethical decisions, and that, in absence of a God(s), human beings create their own purposes in life.

[Zerο]

Sounds more like a philosophy than religion?

[poindexter]

Sounds more like a philosophy than religion?

Google search away!!!! It seems people who view it as a religion are religious humanists, those who see it more as a philosophy are secular humanists. It's a matter of some contention. I personally follow the latter path, I see it as a philosophy that a lot of atheists adhere to. I can't see how it's a religion, and if it is, how it would be any different to atheism... I guess perhaps like atheism only with some ethical guidelines thrown in.

[daveb]

Yes, I don't see it as a religion and humanists I have known didn't either, but I guess we would mostly come under the secular humanists umbrella.

I could see where a religion and/or some of its adherents could be religious humanists (similar to how some religions can be atheistic, in the sense that they don't believe in gods, but do believe in some sort of spirituality, for example).

[Autumn Sunrise]

I was raised Catholic, but I think now I lean more towards agnosticism, rather than atheism. I do think that believing in a god (or gods) - or the possibility of - can be quite separate from subscribing to any particular religion. It seems to me that religion is a human construct, whereas God - if he/she/it exists at all - could exist independently of any religion.

(It's a testimony to the "hold" that religions can exert over people that I still feel some kind of residual guilt in expressing these opinions - probably a good reason for objecting to "religion".)

One of the best explanations I've come across for believing in God (can't remember who said it) is that "I need someone to be grateful to" - but the question that torments me is, is that enough?

[marchpie]

I've never exactly identified as atheist, but I was raised by non-religious parents so you could probably say I am. I rarely meet atheists who aren't atheists as a result of pushing away from religion. For me atheism was just how I was brought up. I find the stories in this thread are really interesting.

Interesting! Come to think of it, that's true in my experience too. All of my atheist friends were raised in religious (or at least nominally religious) households. I have one friend who was not raised with any religion, and she doesn't identify as atheist. The one time I asked her about religion, it was as if she were considering it for the first time, only to say that she wasn't interested.

There seems to be a steady number of people in any time that believe atheists can only exist out of spite.

I like the idea of existing out of spite. :D

I'm not sure what's worse, being an asexual in a sexual society, or being an atheist in a religious society!

Luckily, most of my friends are either atheist, non-religious, or religious in name only, so I've never really had any bad experiences as a result of my atheism. But, yeah, this would definitely make for an intriguing poll: Which do you feel more negatively about, asexuals or atheists?

I heard that religious people, regardless of religion, had a worse opinion about atheists than about followers of any other religion. We are at the bottom of the religious barrel... which is not such a bad place to be, if you ask me. 8)

[HardToComeBy]

Greetings! Hello, all!

I'm an athiest and humanist. Humans are my people ^_^

I'm a former christian fundamentalist....going on maybe 12-15 years ago now. Wow! That's a long time! It always seems that I've come so far in my beliefs and trying to figure myself out. Seems like I've questioned everything.

I believe in gods the same way I believe in Bigfoot. Simple as that.

I was homeschooled. I minored in Philosophy and Religious History at university when I was a student. Studied koine greek to read the new testament. I soon discovered that doing the extra work to learn full classical greek enabled me to read Plato and Aristotle, to my delight.

After writing many philosophy papers, reading many thick books, attending many lectures, learning several languages, studying in Europe for a semester, painting many nudes as part of my art major (:lol:) and having met and interacted with many people from various religious backgrounds, I moved back home to where my family lives and was quite simply shocked at who I now was compared to how I used to be.

There was a time where I was going through therapy to help me cope. Being who I was at that time was quite opposed to what was acceptable in my deeply religious family's eyes (I've always been very close with them).

The topic of sexuality was always an uncomfortable one for me, particularly during my late teens and university years. So insular, underdeveloped and ineffective was my understanding of all things sexuality, that from about eleven years old up into my early twenties I believed wholeheartedly that I was a very sexual person, only that something was "very wrong with my head" :lol:

Looking back now, years later and after having discovered asexuality, it all seems quite silly. I probably could laugh over it if it hadn't been such a distressing source of trauma during those years.

Gender, sexuality and conservative religion relate to each other in both very direct and oftentimes hidden ways. The subtleties seem quite a bit easier to appreciate now that I find myself within a sexual minority - especially as an "outsider".

My asexuality created an odd sort of "block" for my religion. It created a particular area of which religion wanted to say much, but found that it could say very little. Religion, my religion, only could then speak out against all other forms of sexuality while endorsing only one, all the time insisting that it's own version of sexuality was the only valid one that existed.

My young life was filled with many of these odd moments where sexuality, gender and religion tied into very strangely shaped knots. ones which were very difficult for me to figure out at the time (indeed, they were often confusing, shaming, and troublesome!), but now have much more meaning given my status and worldview as an outsider looking in - as an asexual atheist and humanist.

Moments like:

- I was 12 years old at church camp. All seventy or so campers and staff are sitting around the big bonfire in a large circle. Everyone is sitting in a group with their cabin, each cabin composed of either boys or girls. It is between scheduled events, so everyone is joking and having fun. One of my friends sitting next to me starts a game, pointing to people of the oppositte sex on the opposite side of the campfire, one by one whispering a number, "rating" the members of the oppositte sex according to their attractiveness. It comes to be my turn. I freeze. I don't know what to do. Not only is it hard for me to determine who's attractive and who's not (aromantic factor at work), but these are people I know and I feel as if I'm judging them on something completely irrelevant that never even matters. "Why are we just 'picking on' the girls? How is Stephanie any hotter than Eric?" I think to myself. Personally, I found my best friends to be more attractive (whatever that meant...?) than anyone on the other side of the campfire.

- I was 13 years old. My parents were driving me to dinner. Just me. My younger sisters had a babysitter, and weren't coming. I knew what was up. No one said anything, but I knew. I was around that age, so they're taking me to make the purity vow. Yep, sure enough. Ugh. A half hour of embarassing conversation, then it's off to the christian bookstore to buy a ring. I chose one that I hoped was less obvious. I could spin it around, and no one would ever notice the little symbol on the opposite side.

"We'd like you to make this promise to us" my father said. It was the first time in my life that I felt pressured by my parents to do something that I felt was wrong. "Shouldn't that promise be between me and God?" I thought. I didn't cross my fingers because I was never that superstitious, but I made up my mind that I was promising God, and not them. It was insulting to think that they felt that I wasn't in control of my own faculties. Obviously, it wasn't even something that I was ever interested in. Somehow, they just assumed because "everybody is the same."

- I was 18 years old. My father bought two copies of an inspirational religious book about sexual purity, one for each of us. The plan was that we'd read it over the summer, and discuss what we'd read at the end, before I went off to university. "Sure, okay!" I said. Opening it up and beginning to read, and I was shocked at what I'd read, from cover to cover.

The book was titled Every Man's Battle. For me, and from my perspective, it was like reading about some secret underworld where everyone you know has some secret life that you never knew about until reading the book. Almost like some giant conspiracy theory fiction novel that you finish, put downand say "wow! That was a real trip!" except in this case, after we met at the end of the summer and seeing the sincere, sombre expressions on my dad's face, it was truly bizarre to think that that was supposedly how all men felt. There was talk of avoiding mastubation, averting eyes, avoiding certain "tempting" friends of the oppositte sex in social gatherings. The authors even recommended having a "buddy" to be accountable to - someone who would give you phone calls to ask how you were doing during the day, just in case you might masturbate again (?!?) and be unfaithful to your wife (????). The authors clearly viewed their own sexuality as a powerful addiction and recommended treating it in a similar fashion to a drug addiction, much like the way that AA treats alcoholism.

It was from this that I realized that not only did very conservative religious people like my father learn to fear and despise their own biological responses, but they also developed a way to re-frame them as harmful "disorders" that can require (and be responsive to) "treatment" only for the purpose of propping up their religion, and only because the religion claims that these things are harmful.

It alienated me, because I could not relate to anything that the authors described in the book. Not one. I felt "broken" because I didn't experience these strange urges and attractions that all seemed so arbitrary to me.

- I was 10 years old. Youth group. Sunday night. It was after all the planned events and the room grew quite loud, being full of young kids having fun. I was engaged in a serious conversation with one of my friends about an exciting book that I had just finished that afternoon, one that she had read also. It was too loud to hear one another in the room, so we stepped outside and talked while walking down the hallway. I heard my mother screech my name from behind me in the distance. Puzzled as to why she called in that tone, I followed the direction of her voice where she then pulled me aside into a doorway. She scolded, reprimanded me for being alone with a girl. "That's something that not even your grandfather does!" she boomed, her voice puffed up with a tone of discipline. I remember being terribly distressed and confused as to what harm was done. I wondered if she was making assumptions based strictly on my age and the fact that I was a male. I felt terribly red-faced guilty, but couldn't see how it could have been my fault to be a male who just happened to have a female friend. That didn't take away the guilt.

- I was 19 years old at university. My second relationship. There was constant tension, I was always self-conscious. At the end of it, she had to leave because she wanted affection - affection that I couldn't show and didnt know how to give. Going places with her was terribly awkward. I felt like it was up to me to sustain some sort of "image" of what a male in a relationship looks like. The social conventions confused me. After nightfall, assuming a stance in the doorway as if awaiting something (goodnight kiss...?) wasn't a cue that I could pick up on very well. It always seemed assumed that I was just strangely not interested if I didn't get them. I didn't know how to help it.

I had a hard time with physical touch. I always seemed nervous when we were together in public places. She was aware that I didn't really like PDA's, and would suggest that we go somewhere away from everything else in the busy university. When we were alone, the anxiety would increase ten-fold. I always felt that I had to look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. I didn't know what to do or how to respond when there was a hand on my leg. My brushing off all advances wasn't taken as a way of saying "I love you," and it hurt not being able to communicate "I love you, just not in that way."

When we parted ways, I was confused and hurt more than anything. While never explicitly stating that she thought I was gay, her tearful (religiously motivated) parting recommendations to "get it looked at" hurt and deeply confused me more than anything. My religion was overjoyed with the fact that I wasn't having premarital or extramarital sex, but offered nothing on the topics I needed. Religion offered fewer categories to fit people into, and it insisted that it's tiny sexuality and gender model fit every human and that every human was to conform to this model.

[HardToComeBy]

Sounds more like a philosophy than religion?

Yeah, i tend to think of it more as a life philosophy than a religion as well. Back in art history, I attended a lecture on the topic of the effect of "christian humanism" on rennaissance art and architecture in Italy. Yes indeed, I think it has more to do with a trust in humankind and a belief in the power of humans to better themselves through their own means. The ability of humankind to celebrate being human as such, and working together to solve human problems.

[Prisma]

I read the stories you guys post here about growing up in religious families, and I feel so lucky my family is secular OO

[Vioxe]

Agnostic Atheist here! =) Yes, some people have negative views of atheists due to a few of our more outspoken... But I've still never heard of anybody being killed in the name of atheism, or having a funeral picketed in the name of atheism, or any other form of violence/oppression in the name of atheism.

So I think we're in the lead on that count ;)

[HardToComeBy]

Agnostic Atheist here! =) Yes, some people have negative views of atheists due to a few of our more outspoken... But I've still never heard of anybody being killed in the name of atheism, or having a funeral picketed in the name of atheism, or any other form of violence/oppression in the name of atheism.

So I think we're in the lead on that count ;)

It's funny how people (religious people) often make the claim that our non-belief in something can lead us to commit crimes and such. I used to make that claim too back when I was a believer, and it's quite a strange thing looking back on it. Now it's something that I laugh at when I hear it because it sounds so silly. :lol:

I think it has more to do with the way that religions function so internally. That is, if you grow up in and are surrounded by people who are constantly telling you that there's only ONE way to be and ONE way to do things, it wouldn't take long to internallize it and eventually see "the others" as being the WRONG way to do things, simply by virtue of them being an "other."

[skycake]

Asexual Antitheist here. If I could choose one person to bring back from the dead, it'd be Hitch.

Holy crap, I didn't know I could add Antitheist and not be judged, I posted God Mocker as a sugar coated version, but now that you posted that, let me add, ANTITHEIST HERE TOO!!! :D

Glad I could help :D

[Ume_Chika]

I was raised Catholic, my parents are still very religious. But after I went to uni and discovered that I had a choice and didnt have to go to church I felt so free. I always questioned the way women were portrayed in the Bible and why they werent allowed to become priests or deacons, or even back then altar servers, why does my gender restrict my role in religion? After that I found so many flaws and contradictions that I thought what is the point, they obviously dont have it right. I looked at other religions and found them interesting but still didnt think anyone had it right. I loved that recent stephen fry video interview where he says he would respect the old greek gods more than the Christian god because at least they didnt pretend to be anything they werent.http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/stephen-fry-explains-what-he-would-say-if-he-was-confronted-by-god-10015360.html

so i relate more to Humanism than anything else.

I love the way Gods are presented in the Discworld. Gods exist because we believe in them, we created them not the other way around.

[IanH]

I was raised Catholic, my parents are still very religious. But after I went to uni and discovered that I had a choice and didnt have to go to church I felt so free. I always questioned the way women were portrayed in the Bible and why they werent allowed to become priests or deacons, or even back then altar servers, why does my gender restrict my role in religion? After that I found so many flaws and contradictions that I thought what is the point, they obviously dont have it right. I looked at other religions and found them interesting but still didnt think anyone had it right. I loved that recent stephen fry video interview where he says he would respect the old greek gods more than the Christian god because at least they didnt pretend to be anything they werent.http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/stephen-fry-explains-what-he-would-say-if-he-was-confronted-by-god-10015360.html

so i relate more to Humanism than anything else.

I love the way Gods are presented in the Discworld. Gods exist because we believe in them, we created them not the other way around.

I saw that video an I have to say he puts my anti-theism to shame.

[HardToComeBy]

Asexual Antitheist here. If I could choose one person to bring back from the dead, it'd be Hitch.

Holy crap, I didn't know I could add Antitheist and not be judged, I posted God Mocker as a sugar coated version, but now that you posted that, let me add, ANTITHEIST HERE TOO!!! :D

Glad I could help :D

I'm aware that I have a pretty big antitheist streak in me as well, even though I'm rarely all that outspoken about it. I was a very, very religious person once so I definately know what it's like, but let's face it. Sometimes people do stupid things because of their religion, and I can't help but either point and laugh merrily, or in some cases shout in anger at something which should not be.

[HardToComeBy]

I was raised Catholic, my parents are still very religious. But after I went to uni and discovered that I had a choice and didnt have to go to church I felt so free. I always questioned the way women were portrayed in the Bible and why they werent allowed to become priests or deacons, or even back then altar servers, why does my gender restrict my role in religion? After that I found so many flaws and contradictions that I thought what is the point, they obviously dont have it right. I looked at other religions and found them interesting but still didnt think anyone had it right. I loved that recent stephen fry video interview where he says he would respect the old greek gods more than the Christian god because at least they didnt pretend to be anything they werent.http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/stephen-fry-explains-what-he-would-say-if-he-was-confronted-by-god-10015360.html

so i relate more to Humanism than anything else.

I love the way Gods are presented in the Discworld. Gods exist because we believe in them, we created them not the other way around.

Did you ever read the book, Small Gods???? That was one of the things that I loved about that universe, too! :D

[Beowulf]

I am starting a secular club at my school, any ideas for things to do?

Our school also has a bible club and we really want to have a charity debate with them.

[poindexter]

I was raised Catholic, my parents are still very religious. But after I went to uni and discovered that I had a choice and didnt have to go to church I felt so free. I always questioned the way women were portrayed in the Bible and why they werent allowed to become priests or deacons, or even back then altar servers, why does my gender restrict my role in religion? After that I found so many flaws and contradictions that I thought what is the point, they obviously dont have it right. I looked at other religions and found them interesting but still didnt think anyone had it right. I loved that recent stephen fry video interview where he says he would respect the old greek gods more than the Christian god because at least they didnt pretend to be anything they werent.http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/stephen-fry-explains-what-he-would-say-if-he-was-confronted-by-god-10015360.html

so i relate more to Humanism than anything else.

I love the way Gods are presented in the Discworld. Gods exist because we believe in them, we created them not the other way around.

I love Stephen so much for that interview - he captured the way I feel about the (non)existence of God completely.

[Siggy]

Also, I didn't know there are things like asexual spectrum atheist conferences. Perhaps I'll take a look at it.

The conference was about atheism in general. "Asexual Spectrum Atheists" was the name of the panel. I organized the panel. :)

I'm gray-A and atheist. I've also been active in secular student groups and atheist blogs for many years. That makes me one of the "outspoken" ones.

[Siggy]

I am starting a secular club at my school, any ideas for things to do?

Our school also has a bible club and we really want to have a charity debate with them.

Neat! My three tips are: Talk to the Secular Student Alliance. Advertise. And most importantly, train new leaders for when you graduate.

Student debates are cool events, and I'm sorry that my local group never seems able to organize them.