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Transitioning doubts again


Emery.

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*sigh* the thought about transitioning doesn't leave me alone. But I think I just don't like all the aspects of it. Like... I don't feel like using the men's bathroom for practical reasons. Or attending male P.E. classes. I don't feel like trying to pass for cis or like changing my name. I don't feel like transitioning physically either. I like doing guy things and dressing like a guy. I don't know how I'd handle other people's reactions. If I have the strength to fight for my identity. On the other hand, do I have the strength to fight myself? I think I still want to transition somehow, if that is possible at all. Do you imagine that sort of transition? It would comprise of just coming out then, wouldn't it?

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I really resonate with this. I'm one to just take an IUD if it's going to work for me to lessen my periods, maybe just have a therapist help me with coping with my social dysphoria and that's about it. (The other is using Heath as an informal nickname :) )  

I'm afraid of taking T- because my dad is extremely hairy and ugh...I don't want to imagine how uncomfortable that is.  

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I wouldn't want to interfere with my body, that's why I don't want to pursue anything medical.

 

edit: it's eating me, completely. I wish it could stop.

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I have my own too, but 'male' body to not 'female' body but a different type I have in mind. But unfortunately, the health compromises would be too much. Sigh....😣

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This might be an out-of-style thing to say, but maybe it's male gender expression that you feel an affinity with and not the male sex? Cross-dressing, genderf*cking, and gender fluidity might be more of your thing. Sometimes it can feel like there is pressure to transition just because it might seem en vogue in gender non-conforming communities. 

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I think a good step to take (if you haven't already) is to think of yourself as male in all things. In my mind it doesn't matter as much what happens externally; it's how you feel and identify that matters.

Coming out to people you are very close to could also be a good step if you feel that external validation would help you to feel better about your identity. There's no need to take big steps immediately (or even ever) if you don't want to/aren't comfortable doing so. Being comfortable with yourself is the main thing.

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you can transition to any extent you're comfortable to. if behavior and clothing/style is all the masculine you want to present by, then do it! no need to take hormones or surgery if those aren't what you want. in fact, if you don't want them, please don't get em D:

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Teagan1 said:

you can transition to any extent you're comfortable to. if behavior and clothing/style is all the masculine you want to present by, then do it! no need to take hormones or surgery if those aren't what you want. in fact, if you don't want them, please don't get em D:

 

 

 

(If someone got medical procedures they don't need for survival and don't want, that would seem very alarming to me)

But in all seriosness, I was thinking of top surgery max, and that only at some point in the future, in the perspective of years, decades. Birth control doesn't count, I guess. 

 

My biggest problem is with the name now, I think.

 

oh my, again people who don't know my story... I'm already out to close people. And by transitioning I mean a completely social transition.

7 hours ago, belovedless said:

This might be an out-of-style thing to say, but maybe it's male gender expression that you feel an affinity with and not the male sex? Cross-dressing, genderf*cking, and gender fluidity might be more of your thing. Sometimes it can feel like there is pressure to transition just because it might seem en vogue in gender non-conforming communities. 

I stopped examining it, and concentrate on what makes me comfortable, on the small things. I feel like a man. I don't want hormones and surgeries. I think this hits home. Up to your interpretation what it means in your world. I won't tiptoe around the subject to be more "correct". 

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I agree with you there, I'd rather socially transition then actually having to go on T 

Going from no body hair to a jungle doesn't really sound very attractive either 

 

Maybe birth control could be a thing to look into? And maybe you could just wear sportsbra's if your not completely sure about top surgery? It's just an idea!

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23 minutes ago, Jayce said:

I agree with you there, I'd rather socially transition then actually having to go on T 

Going from no body hair to a jungle doesn't really sound very attractive either 

 

Maybe birth control could be a thing to look into? And maybe you could just wear sportsbra's if your not completely sure about top surgery? It's just an idea!

I don't even know. I'd rather just not mess with my body. I think I shouldn't fix it if it ain't broke. Maybe I'd rather be born cis male... life would be easier. But taking testosterone? It doesn't appeal to me. I'll reconsider that when I'm already done with having children.  That and top surgery. Yeah, I'm not a fan of body hair either. I have the balding gene too (ugh), man, I'm even balding a bit as a woman, I can imagine I'd lose all my hair on T, just like some of my family members. Not a fun perspective. I just think that if I have the aim of reproduction as a female, I'd rather seem like one in the most basic sense and take the benefits of evolution of all the feminine bodily traits. Binding... I do wear sports bras... some of the time. But rather for comfort and sports bras look better than regular bras imo, and match my clothes better. It's more like... I just think I might not want to age with breasts. Right now I don't have an issue with them. I can bind if I want to. Completely flat.

 

I already looked into birth control... vaguely. I don't think I'm beyond norm with wanting it. Many women do to get rid of periods. In fact, I've read that for most of the time humanity exists, women didn't have many periods throughout their lifetimes, because they were pregnant or breastfeeding all the time. So it's not so natural and probably also not so healthy. My period stops every once in a while as well, because I'm a person and have a life, and life gets stressful or tiring sometimes. That's a healthy response to that on the part of my body. I might take a look into it in the longer perspective, I'm a bit bothered with the prospect of growing a larger chest or other feminising effects, so... That's a topic that is not so burning for me either, and a topic for longer research as well. 

 

I'd rather transition socially, but as I wrote already, I'm not so keen to use male toilets or changing rooms, or to change my name. I'd rather be called male pronouns and be out, and just open aboit wanting to be included as a guy, I think... with the name it's like... I'd rather have a masculine name, but my name is my name, it's quite original and I like it. I have no nickname or a surname that would make a good nickname. 

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13 hours ago, Emery. said:

. In fact, I've read that for most of the time humanity exists, women didn't have many periods throughout their lifetimes, because they were pregnant or breastfeeding all the time.

woah :o this is actually very interesting

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