Was I always a hidden Asexual?

[asexualannie1993]

Every relationship I've been in I've been distant romantically and sexually. But because I was always told I should have a boyfriend/girlfriend I felt I needed to be in a relationship. I was talking to someone about this and they suggested I was a closeted asexual lol. Has anyone else felt this way? Like you needed to be in a relationship and hated it? (Note: I'm also Aromantic and this is my first post so I hope that is okay to talk about

[theredbubble]

(It is totally okay to talk about this) I completely understand what you are mean. When I was younger, especially in middle school, I would "date" guys because it's what everyone else was doing and I hated that I felt different. But in all reality I hated faking liking all those guys more, so I stopped and starting live my own majestic life 

[vega57]

I liked the idea of having a boyfriend. 

I hated the idea of having to have sex with a boyfriend. 

 

As I got older, I also hated the idea of having "regular" sex.  That is, sex on a "regular" basis, and that if I wasn't interested for whatever reason, I was still obligated to do so. 

 

I didn't really understand that I always had the option to say 'no' to sex.  If I can't have an intimate relationship without sex, then the "relationship" isn't worth it. 

[valerguida]

Adolescence makes us change. It helps us to find what it wants, and it clarifies our ideas and our desires.

[JDP]

I'm starting to think that I was always a hidden asexual, either that or emotionally crippled, or both.

 

I just can't connect on a sexual level, no matter who I'm with or how much sex I have. It's almost like the more sex I have the more distant I get from that person, and the more fraudulent I feel.

 

It's more than I can bear, now.