Lovelykat

Aromantics...do you date? Or does dating feel unnatural?

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Lovelykat   
Lovelykat

Currently questing if I am aromantic. A few questions...

 

Aromantics...do you have any desire to date for non-romantic reasons? (To be seen as "normal", to not be lonely, curiosity, etc.) 

 

Do romantic acts like kissing or hand holding make you feel uncomfortable...or are you just indifferent? 

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Zenzencat104   
Zenzencat104

Only platonic dates, so essentially, same thing, different relationship type. Also, there is no such thing as a 'romantic' act, it only makes it romantic if that's the intent.

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Apathetic Echidna   
Apathetic Echidna

I have gone on 'dates' but they always end up friendly, plus I seem to miss most romantic overtures anyway. Spending time one on one with someone you don't know well is a very good way to see if you can become friends. Plus you can end up at interesting food places when you let them choose. 

I'm fairly indifferent to kissing and I don't see hand holding as romantic, little kids do it all the time, it is a friendship thing. Though I had a friend who refused to hold my hand in -10 winter weather because of what other people would think because hand holding is only a romantic thing (and he is kind of a complete heterophobe). I only offered because my hands get warm in cold weather, I didn't even need gloves. 

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Fishboy   
Fishboy

Many aromantics date, considering relationships can be fulfilling in many different ways that aren't romantic. I'm personally lithromantic, and the kind of partner that I'd be most comfortable with would be aromantic, and have met a few aromantics as a result (without necessarily dating all of them, because that'd be bloody ridiculous) and all of the people I've met vary in that what they seek from relationships. Comfort, sex, intimacy, all sorts of reasons. When it comes to handholding, kissing, things of that nature, then it diverges into the specifics of who they are individually. Bottom line, yes. Aromantics date for all number of reasons, and whatever's comfortable with you in a relationship is up to you as an individual.

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Liebelit   
Liebelit

Okay so I don't exactly use aromantic as a label for myself but for all intents and purposes I probably am aromantic.. And I actually like doing those typically romantic acts and date-like activities with my non-romantic girlfriend. So in my case, and hers too since she feels the same way, it's sort of like I use a lot of language and actions that are normally seen as romantic but I just don't feel "romance", whatever that is... I love her, but I'm not "in love" with her and at the end of the day she's my best friend first and my "girlfriend" second. 

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Fioryn   
Fioryn

I have gone on dates before, mostly because I felt like it was something I *had* to do. Now I'm indifferent to it. Maybe I'll date again, maybe I won't. It is honestly not something I really think about anymore.

 

Romantic touches do make me feel uncomfortable. 

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Jade Cross   
Jade Cross

I dont identify as an aromantic (havent really questioned that part) but just the same, I really wouldn't date, kiss, hold hands, etc, simply on account that it would make me extremely uncomfortable.

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FictoVore.   
FictoVore.

I am very romantic but can't stand the idea of 'dating'. I am almost 29 and have never been on a date, the idea of that is quite repulsive to me. I prefer to naturally make friends with people, then move into a fully monogamous committed relationship if I develop feelings for someone and they develop those feelings back. What I'm saying is that a repulsion to the idea of dating (as in, meeting people and going 'out' with them in the hopes a spark may develop) may not necessarily indicate aromantiscm. Even just typing about the idea of dating made me shudder, haha. 

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Poseidon   
Poseidon

The few relationships I've had in the past have all come about totally by chance / randomly - get chatting to people and then things sort of evolving from that natural connection - never once have I set out on a quest to find someone, and always I've been rather surprised when I have found myself with a partner.  I think I'm pretty oblivious most of the time!  I do like some 'romantic' things I quite like, holding hands for example, but I don't really think of that as romantic, but more just comforting.

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swirl_of_blue   
swirl_of_blue
2 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

I am very romantic but can't stand the idea of 'dating'. I am almost 29 and have never been on a date, the idea of that is quite repulsive to me. I prefer to naturally make friends with people, then move into a fully monogamous committed relationship if I develop feelings for someone and they develop those feelings back. What I'm saying is that a repulsion to the idea of dating (as in, meeting people and going 'out' with them in the hopes a spark may develop) may not necessarily indicate aromantiscm. Even just typing about the idea of dating made me shudder, haha. 

I identify as demiromantic, and feel pretty much the same way. I've gone on dates with people I met online a couple of times, but every time it has been so uncomfortable that I've cut all contact after. I want to do things either purely as friends with no pressure to develop feelings, or with someone I'm already in a relationship with.

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Gloomy   
Gloomy

I've never dated anyone in my life, and have little to no desire to. Physical contact with other people does make me feel uncomfortable.

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Just like Jughead   
Just like Jughead

No, I don't date. Why would I?

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Galactic Turtle   
Galactic Turtle

I have no interest in dating. The word itself makes me uncomfortable. As for kissing and holding hands - I'm averse to touch so I also greatly dislike the idea of doing those things too. From my point of view there's nothing to be gained from a romantic relationship that I don't already share with friends and family. Though my friends have told me that they like talking to me about their significant others because I don't get jealous. XD

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To Each Their Own   
To Each Their Own

Completely Aromantic. Nope, I don't date. I haven't actually met any Aromantics that would do romantic relationships. 

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Nidwin   
Nidwin

No dating but I've no issues spending some time with others doing whatever.

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Pramana   
Pramana

Dating strikes me as awkward and contrived. I'm unsure how people handle it, but each to their own.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet   
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

I'm gray aromantic, but I'll put my two cents in.

 

I desire, and prefer, to date platonically to find a Queerplatonic relationship.

When in comes to dating romantically, I am open to it. 

 

On 8/17/2017 at 11:19 PM, Zenzencat104 said:

Only platonic dates, so essentially, same thing, different relationship type. Also, there is no such thing as a 'romantic' act, it only makes it romantic if that's the intent.

^^I agree with this. Personally, I'm indifferent to kissing and hand holding.

 

 

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arekathevampyre   
arekathevampyre

No I don't . 

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Happy Halloween   
Happy Halloween

I'd like to. But it's not as important to me as it seems to be for everyone else. 

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deltaX   
deltaX

I'm aromantic, and I don't date anymore.  Before I knew about aromanticism, I feel into a romantic relationship with a friend who developed a crush on me.  Although I loved hanging out with him when we were friends, I immediately became repulsed and uncomfortable once we started hanging out in a romantic date context.  I also absolutely hated kissing, and cuddling made me uncomfortable because I although I do like cuddling when it's purely platonic, I was worried he would want to take it further.

 

I guess the pros of dating were that it lead me to find out about aromanticism and asexuality, and that I did get to feel  "normal" for a while.  But I definitely wouldn't consider it again.  Maybe other aromantics would want to date for whatever reason, but it's definitely not for me.

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Aeona   
Aeona

I think I am aromantic - not quite sure about that, but dating makes me uncomfortable. I am that kind of person that meets with people and just wants to have a good time and at some point it just feels weird because I realize that my friends would call it date xD
Dating for me is meeting new people who possibly could become good friends :D

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Aeona   
Aeona
4 hours ago, deltaX said:

Before I knew about aromanticism, I feel into a romantic relationship with a friend who developed a crush on me.  Although I loved hanging out with him when we were friends, I immediately became repulsed and uncomfortable once we started hanging out in a romantic date context

Oh, I know this so well. We were hanging out on a hill, watching the stars and suddenly I realized it was some kind of date. Well, I immediately felt uncomfortable and just tried to act normal, but it just didn't work. Most of the guys I hang out with think at some point that it's a date and develope a crush on me. Arrgh, I absolutely hate this situation ... I just want to make good friends, nothing more xD

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Charlie Weasley   
Charlie Weasley

I have no interest in dating. I think it is a situation that is uncomfortable and I have met all my partners via friendship

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Charlie Weasley   
Charlie Weasley
14 hours ago, arekathevampyre said:

No I don't . 

feels awsomme to see others too who dont date. or is that what u meant. ?

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apatrickwsu   
apatrickwsu

Being aromantic but pansexual there can be a lot of weirdness. I'm trying to talk myself into having friends (who know I'm aro) help me set up a tinder profile though.

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Blue Phoenix Ace   
Blue Phoenix Ace

I am almost aromantic, and gave up on dating about two years ago when I found out about asexuality, aromanticism, and being single at heart. Dates are actually quite fun, but it's the expectation that it should lead to something more that tends to put me off. In the future, I would be open to dating again if I found another aromantic person to develop a long friendship with.

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Deus Ex Infinity   
Deus Ex Infinity

At this point, going out for a date would feel quite unatural to me. It wouldn't make much sense since I'm not interested in starting a real physical romantic relationship with someone at all so it would only cause wrong expectations. Casual meet ups are ok.

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shirokumo   
shirokumo

Dating feels like a chore, and I find myself unable to develop even friendship with the other person if the intention to grow into something romantic/sexual is the premise of those meetings. 

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Achromatic Kitty   
Achromatic Kitty
On 8/18/2017 at 3:06 AM, Lovelykat said:

Aromantics...do you have any desire to date for non-romantic reasons? (To be seen as "normal", to not be lonely, curiosity, etc.) 

 

Do romantic acts like kissing or hand holding make you feel uncomfortable...or are you just indifferent? 

For the first part, I would "date" simply to find out if I can connect to someone as a friend, and if it comes to that, a QPR partner... I don't date for romance... Not my thing. Also, I would "date" to not be lonely, but at this point, I'm not into looking into one due to finacial reasons and not living in my own place... :mellow:

 

For the second part, kissing on the cheek is my way of showing I care for someone, and is my only extend of kissing I'm comfortable with... It's not romantic, it's showing platonic love to someone I care about.

 

I'm into holding hands simply because I like the touch of someone I may... :redface: .... want to cuddle with if it goes that far...  Sue me, I like cuddling.... I have a freaking teddy bear I sleep with for bloody crying out loud.... Man is that embarrassing to say...

 

On 8/29/2017 at 3:22 AM, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

I desire, and prefer, to date platonically to find a Queerplatonic relationship.

 

I would "date" to find someone who... Just gets me you know? Someone who respects me for me as much as I do them... Cutting out the romance part, but if they can help me with my sex adversion, I would probably have sex to make them feel happy if they are a sexually active person, but I won't be into it myself... But I want to make them happy... Am I making sense at all? But due to my family and religious beliefs, it would have to be a female...

 

If I need to clarify why, let me know...

 

Look, if my QPR partner  is a sexual person who only wants, "Sexy Times" as I heard it called, with me, it would have to be after me and her work out my sex adversion issue... And boy, is it going to be Hell for the both of us...

 

*Deep Breath* I have a reason as to why I'm sex adversed and I rather not state it for the time being... Unless I must.... Man. IDK at the moment... Yeah, IDK at the moment if I should state or not, because it's PRETTY personal....

 

Anyway, you got my answer...

 

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Blackthorn   
Blackthorn

I have dated in the past, because it felt like it was something I 'had' to do to try and be normal.  Very awkward.  No way would I do it again.

I steer clear of hand holding and cuddling - romantic or not!

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