does anybody else feel this way?

[Musicallyinclined]

Hi, I'm pretty much new to the forum so I'll just give u a brief history of my sexuality really quickly. I've identified as ace/gray for about 3-4 years. Maybe gray because I can only think of maybe 1 time that I *may* have experienced sexual attraction, but I currently identify as ace. I used to be pretty sex-repulsed for the most part, but now I find myself liking the idea of having sex when I get married; but not with just anyone. The problem is that even though I'm not *sex* repulsed, I still hate the faintest idea of male genitalia (no offense to anyone, it's just how I feel, though I am heteroromantic)...I can't explain why it seriously grosses me out to even think that my guy friends have guy parts, I mostly just banish the thought from my mind all together. It's started to cause me some problems with my guy friends because I wish that I could not get so grossed out when they crack jokes about stuff, but it genuinely disturbs me for some reason. I don't want to be so "sensitive" about this issue, like they've told me I am, but I can't help it! No matter what I do, I just freak out when I think about male genitalia..... is this maybe an ace thing or am I just immature? I'm really upset about this, so if anyone could help me understand myself i would feel so much better. Thanks.

[-Lex-]

I feel you there.  I'm pretty sex-repulsed, and guy parts, or any parts, really gross me out.  That being said, I've been with my husband for almost four years and we're very happily married.  He is sexual but 100% supportive of my asexuality.  When you love someone and they love you, you find ways to manage.

[Laplace]

I don't think maturity has anything to do with it. It's seems more like a trigger for anxiety. It'd be immature if say you thought guy's had cooties. I'm pretty desensitized to genitalia mainly cause I grew up as a kid who knew exactly what they did and their biological purpose cause I read about them in science books. Even as a guy, I still occasionally think, "WTF kind of f'd up appendage is this and who was high when designing it?" when I go to the bathroom. It just looks weird and stupid sometimes like someone grafted an elephant trunk to my abdomen 😅. It's definitely a lot weirder than what women have 😖. My only advice to get over the anxiety that it brings is just to desensitize yourself to it by thinking about it from a detached scientific perspective. When your brain finally just accepts it as normal and commonplace, it's not such a bother anymore. Course, it's easier to accept when you've actually lived with it your whole life 😓.