I need help distinguishing my sexuality

[Aceofspades123]

Okay, I have a very strange orientation that I cannot wrap my head around. Okay, so I know that I like both binary genders (Male and Female) but it's in different ways. For guys, I feel sexual attraction towards them. I still don't like the idea of actual sex but, I have a lot of kinks that I like to do with guys such as being a sub etc but I would never have a romantic relationship with a guy. I just don't see guys that way. I only find them attractive sexually. Whereas, with girls it's the opposite. I can be very romantically attracted to them, wanting to spend time with them and longing to be with them forever and hug and cuddle etc but nothing sexual. Doing anything sexual with a girl just seems weird to me, kinks included. I only find them attractive romantically. So, is there a specific label for this or am I just one weird ball of sexuality and romanticism? Help would be appreciated greatly

[Yep, me]

Something sexual and something romantic? Idk. But labels are just that, labels, they help communication sometimes and sometimes they fail to make a perfect term.

[roland.o]

Easy would have been too easy, I guess ;-) Two orientations, two labels. How do you like "androsexual and gynoromantic"?

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/?do=findComment&comment=1061345333

 

[Puck]

Hmmm, sounds to me like you are still figuring yourself out. Which is totally ok! There is no deadline for this, it's just you taking the time to figure out yourself and nothing more.

 

As Zenzencat said, labels are just ways to communicate with people. Just putting a name to a phenomenon. They can be broad or specific depending how people use them and which ones are used.

 

It's also interesting to me that in recent years, particularly amongst young people on the internet, it has become not just who one is attracted to but how they are attracted to them. Within those circles, it seems it's no longer "do you like boys, girls, or both?" it's now "do you like boys, girls, both, agender, all, neither and also do you like them after some time, do you like to get kinky, do you like them if they present this way or that....." Which is fine, a label is just a label after all. As long as people feel fulfilled and happy with who they are, who are we to judge.

 

Just relax, use the label you think works for now or no label at all. It's totally fine to find one that works best later.