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Hi ya'll~

 

So I've been considering myself as ace/gray-ace for a good while. But I've also been wondering about a thing:

 

I do fantasize, and most usually...well, always, actually, the fantasies are about fictional people(they vary, but there in my case there are always two), in romantic/sexual situations. Sometimes in these fantasies, I even imagine myself as one of the characters, as in, I imagine myself being that character, and imagine what that character could possibly be feeling at the moment.

 

Kinda like a play; sometimes you're in the audience watching the play, sometimes you're an actor playing a character in that play, but you never play as yourself, because you're not a part of the play and you don't feel like you're a part of the play or want to be a part of it. More like you're putting on a mask.

 

It's like, when I'm fantasizing, I feel aroused not only by the situation, but especially by the two characters having romantic/sexual feelings towards _each other_, their actions and feelings towards each other are the key here (...or wait, is the aforementioned just a specific type of a "situation"?). As I said, I sometimes imagine myself as being one of the two, and then imagine the feelings that come with the situation of being that character. But it's always just the fictional people. There's a certain sort of disconnect, even though I sometimes play the characters I never imagine me as myself in these. As myself, I don't feel sexual attraction towards these characters. Not in fantasies or in real life. (IRL I don't feel sexual attraction towards any gender)

 

I'm not necessarily looking for a name/term for this sorta disconnection thing or anything, but I was wondering if others also experience this kinda stuff, where they might sometimes imagine themselves playing a part in their fantasies, but as someone else/fictional, never as themselves?

 

I dunno, this might be toeing the borders a little, but even so I do think of myself as an asexual, or at least gray-ace, since in real life I just don't think (or feel) about people in a sexual way.

Thoughts? Other people doing the same?

 

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This is extremely common! You can still be very much asexual. You yourself do not feel like partaking in sexual activities... you're just shipping. Ts'allright pal, and it doesn't take away from your identity at all.

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everywhere and nowhere

It's very similar for me. I have third-person fantasies, but at the same time I know that I'm 0% open to the idea of personally having sex.

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Yup, I do exactly the same and I still identify as asexual. It's completely normal, don't worry :) 

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