unsure of my sexuality/romantic orientation. please send help

[kittyblomu]

i'm 99.5% sure i'm demi-biromantic asexual.

 

when i first realized it, it was after finding myself crushing on a really extremely close friend and doing a bit of research, i was like, wow i really relate to this. i've even taking more than a few sexuality/romantic orientation tests, just for a second opinion, and every time i got the same result: 'You got: demiromantic.' 'There is a good chance that you're asexual!' that was just recently too. and just for good measure, i need a third opinion.

 

EDIT: I JUST REMEMBERED I WAS CRUSHING ON ANOTHER CLOSE FRIEND (SHES BI) BEFORE I BEGAN CRUSHING ON MY FRIEND WHO IS LESBIAN

 

thing is, if i really am demi-biromantic asexual, i'm afraid of coming out to my friends and family (ofc i'm not doing it anytime soon - i'm still getting used to the idea). recently i've loved reading coming out stories and there were only stories about gay or lesbian people coming out. i only found one demiromantic asexual coming out story and their family reacted horribly. i don't think any of my family members are homophobic but i don't think they know what it means to be demi-biromantic asexual. and i'm afraid that their reactions will disappoint me. my family and friends have a horrible tendency to belittle my feelings (i took a depression test during a yearly physical and i lied actually, i wasn't honest and made it seem like i felt better than i actually did, and my parents said 'this is because your cousins left, isn't it?') and i'm afraid that if i tell them, they'll say, 'no, you're definitely straight. you're just confused and don't know what you want' or, 'you're too young to know stuff like that'. and i definitely don't want things to change just because my sexuality/romantic orientation did. i just want them to accept me, i guess, and i want them to make an effort to understand what i identify as. 

 

plus, my cousins (who just left, they live in California and visit every year during the summer) have this thing where they don't like it when people 'copy' them. my eldest cousin is demiromantic, and i'm afraid that they won't accept me because they'll think i copied her. like why would i copy her? why would i even think of copying something like that? what could i possibly gain from copying her orientation? i'm just afraid in general and i know without a doubt that i am definitely not ready to come out yet.

 

heck, i'm STILL UNSURE as to whether or not i'm actually demi-biromantic asexual. like what if i come out, and they accept me, and then it turns out that this whole time i was actually just confused and i'm actually straight?? that is my WORST FEAR.

 

please help. aghhhhhhHHhHHH

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

Hi there. Welcome to Aven! 🍰

First and foremost, don't take online quizzes too seriously.

If thinking about coming out to your family members is causing you this much stress I advise you not to come out to anyone, especially if you aren't sure what your romantic/sexual orientation is.  If you you aren't ready to come out yet as you have stated, then it's best as I stated before, not to come out.

Aven wiki may help:http://wiki.asexuality.org/Main_Page

The book "The invisible Orientation: an introduction to asexuality" by Julie Sondra Decker is also a good book to look into.

 

I advise you that you tell your parents about your depression. Depression is serious.  We don't want your depression to get any worse.

I'm sorry your family and friends belittle your feelings. That is why it may be best not to tell any of your family and friends about your possible sexual/romantic orientation. And also, if your friends belittle your feelings, perhaps you need new friends. Let those friends go if they don't care about your feelings.

And even if you aren't asexual, you are welcomed here!

[kittyblomu]

thank you so much :') this really helped me.

 

i should probably tell them, shouldn't i... it's already been three years. but i dont think they'll take me seriously, which is why i haven't told them. the next time i'm asked to take a depression test i'll be honest, i promise.

 

thank you again for your help! definitely gonna check out that book.

[kittyblomu]

1 hour ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

also thank you so much for reading all of that haha ^

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

9 hours ago, tryingtokeepmyheadup said:

thank you so much :') this really helped me.

 

i should probably tell them, shouldn't i... it's already been three years. but i dont think they'll take me seriously, which is why i haven't told them. the next time i'm asked to take a depression test i'll be honest, i promise.

 

thank you again for your help! definitely gonna check out that book.

You are welcome! I hope things get better for you! *Hugs*!

8 hours ago, tryingtokeepmyheadup said:

10 hours ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

also thank you so much for reading all of that haha ^

No problem lol *Hugs*