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Do you care if ppl find you attractive?


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I wish we had a way to be aesthetically appealing but also emit a solid "no sex plz" vibe.

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Honestly if a person admits to finding me attractive, I neglect my personal appearance even more out of spite. Even in my normal outfit, there's nothing sexual. Its usually a hoodie, a t-shirt, and comfy shorts/jeans. I could care less if I look good to others.

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I find that if someone compliments me on my looks, I struggle to stammer out an acknowledgement or thanks for it. I've always been uncomfortable with people pointing out or commenting on my appearance. I also don't get complimented often, so maybe that's part of it, I don't know...

I'm definitely the comfy-casual type, too. Screw overabundant stereotypes of attractiveness, it just makes things more awkward for me in the long run.

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Crabby Nebula
On 12/31/2017 at 8:55 PM, Snao Cone said:

I wish we had a way to be aesthetically appealing but also emit a solid "no sex plz" vibe.

YES!!!

 

I'm usually flattered, but also yeah. That.

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AcornCarvings

I pay a bit of attention to how I dress mostly because of gender stuff, but whenever I am dressing more feminine I always get way more "you look nice/cute" comments. I have come to really dislike those, because it seems like it is just everyone affirming me when I am presenting more inline with my sex assigned at birth but not when I am not.

 

Because of that, when I am presenting especially androgynously, I like when people find me attractive, because it makes me feel like they are accepting and appreciating me outside of norms and conventions. I rather dislike when people say that I am very hot or cute or sexy, though (unless I am going for it as a gag), it just makes me feel uncomfortably boxed in.

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Most of the time, I react the same way to people finding me attractive as I do to people expressing (romantic, sexual, sensual, etc) affection toward me -- i.e., panic, flop sweats, and/or unattractive flailing. I rarely go out of my way to make myself seem more attractive and hover, as a rule, around 'not repulsive' in general. 

 

That said, one time my best friend's girlfriend (with whom there was no chance of or desire for any sort of relationship) told me I had "really great legs" and I was pretty stoked about that. Do not think it would be the same coming from a stranger. I guess the short answer is, "meh." 

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Strange But Not a Stranger

I like to look nice for myself, not so much for others. Looking nice means that my hair looks okay, and that I am wearing a nice pair of jeans and a shirt/sweater/something I like.

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Always looking for answers

I tend to wear baggy sweaters, no high heels and never skirts because I don't want people to find me sexually attractive. Oh and I hate make up (makes my face itch) so I don't wear that either.

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Tiny-Grey-Dinosaurs

I like the IDEA of people finding me attractive, and I like to look good for myself, but when someone actually tells me they like my face or something in a way that isn't platonic, it freaks me out. Having someone like you gives you a certain level of power over them, and the slytherin in me really likes that, but it's also pretty terrifying at the end of the day.

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It depends on wich way someone find me atractive. I don't care much what i wear in daily basis and I dress nicely or wear make up only for myself. In situations when someone find me atractive adn tell me about im flaterd and this is nice of course but thats it. Most importent to me is if someone like my character or intelect and this matters to me much more than aesthetic atraction. 

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Nope.

 

That is as long as they are not undressing me with their eyes, sharing their opinion with me, or being creepy perverts.

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I don't care either way. I like how I look and that's what matters, but if people say nice things I'm flattered. I just don't really need them to to be happy with my apprarance. It's just a nice plus unless they're creepy weird. Although it would be nice to dress however I want whenever I want without people getting the wrong idea. I like looking good for me but others can see it as me looking sexy for them. That kind of sucks.

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If anyone has ever really, honestly found me attractive, I have never heard about it. I like being told I look good (which doesn't even happen very often), but only if I feel good about how I'm presenting. Otherwise I have a very strong negative reaction to it. I imagine I would be deeply uncomfortable if someone found me sexually attractive, whether or not I was romantically attracted to them. 

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1 minute ago, Andiamo said:

If anyone has ever really, honestly found me attractive, I have never heard about it. I like being told I look good (which doesn't even happen very often), but only if I feel good about how I'm presenting. Otherwise I have a very strong negative reaction to it. I imagine I would be deeply uncomfortable if someone found me sexually attractive, whether or not I was romantically attracted to them. 

Agreed.

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If I’m on a night out I like to dress up. I’m pretty conventional and so like to dress conventionally nice. It’s mostly to fit in, I guess, and to feel good about myself as I have quite strong social anxiety. That said, I hate it when I get attention as a result and just want them to go away. I’m married now but it’s always been that way.

 

 

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I'm not at all attractive to begin with so that kind of situations haven't really happened to me a lot. I don't exactly put effort into how I look as that can help with keeping unwanted and uncomfortable contacts away.

Honestly, I do like some positive attention every now and then but it'd infuriate me if someone told me I'm "leading them on" by looking a certain way as I have zero interest in leading someone on, especially if I don't know that someone well enough.

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Ms. Carolynne
On 12/31/2017 at 6:55 PM, Snao Cone said:

I wish we had a way to be aesthetically appealing but also emit a solid "no sex plz" vibe.

Definitely, it can be a bit awkward.

 

As per the op, I don't mind too much, depending how far they go with it. If they're just sort of casually checking me out, it's fine.

 

What really bothers me is when somebody just stares down my package or otherwise gets really sexual about it. That's just really creepy. I don't usually like being called sexy either.

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YuriAmethyst

 I don’t like the idea of people in general finding me attractive  I never understand why people put make up on and dress nice things when they are just going shopping or doing free time activities 

 

 On the other hand when I like somebody and I want them to be flirting with me or in a romantic relationship I do dress nice because I know that aesthetics play a big role for other people even though they don’t for me actually  and I have been seen as unattractive due to disability and being fat            all my life so I try to do my best so people find me attractive but only when I go on a date or meet somebody I like 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Aroace...Artimus

Well, I never really care about how I look. I try to focus more on my personality and character. I believe my inside qualities should stand out more than my outside ones.

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On 15/08/2017 at 3:40 AM, FictoVore. said:

If I am attracted to someone, I definitely want them to find me attractive back. Other than that I couldn't care less :3

If that’s a picture of you, you are very attractive!

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4 minutes ago, James121 said:

If that’s a picture of you, you are very attractive!

Thanks! I was worried you might have found an old picture of me I had posted here (I went through a phase where my hair was bright electric red haha, bit embarrassing!) but I see now you meant my profile pic :)

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13 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Thanks! I was worried you might have found an old picture of me I had posted here (I went through a phase where my hair was bright electric red haha, bit embarrassing!) but I see now you meant my profile pic :)

Yes I did mean your profile pic and no I’m not flirting or trying to bed you. See, us sexuals are capable of compliments without an ulterior motive. But yes, very pretty.

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In general, I like when people show appreciation for things that I have chosen, like clothes or shoes. I like picking out clothes that make me feel nice. Sometimes getting compliments on a favourite dress can make my day. But when people compliment me on things I don't have control over, like my eye colour or the length of my legs or just the generic "You're so pretty", I find it very awkward. I don't put much effort into trying to look pretty, and I don't think that having genes that meet some conventional, western definitions of beauty is worth attention or praise.

 

But I've also found it nice sometimes to be told I was beautiful when it came from people that I knew well enough to know that it wasn't important to them, and that they didn't want anything in return.

 

As for leading people on, I've just accepted that people might think I do this all the time because I'm so oblivious to flirting and signs of attraction that I don't even realise it's going on right in front of me. I mostly just assume no one is into me that way until they spell it out for me. At which point I usually become uncomfortable, but every once in a while flattered.

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Hum...I usually like to look neat out of sheer respect for other people, even though I dislike compliments to be completely honest.

 

So, do I care???

Yes, in so much as showing respect is considered...anything beyond that I find quite uncomfortable.

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
Dedicated to Baking

I dislike the idea of people finding me sexually attractive. It weirds me out that that's a thing people do in regards to anyone at all, and I really don't like the idea that someone might think I'm trying to look nice in order to be sexually attractive. I'm mostly ok with the idea of sex being a thing, but not at all ok with the idea that it could be a thing that personally involves myself.

I do like to look nice when I go out in public. I'd feel uncomfortable if I was seen with greasy hair or dirty clothes. I do like to dress nicely, but that's mostly because I like nice things and also slightly because I want to look respectable. When I'm trying to look nice I'm thinking about my own feelings and comfort, and not whether other people think I look good or not.

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LittleLillie

Not really, kinda depends on how they view me. If they find me cute,nice looking or handsome that's ok but if they say that I look hot or other words that leads to that path of attractiveness then I start to get rather uncomfortable.

 

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I care about being "attractive" in an aesthetic sense. I do not want people to judge me superficially based on my physical state, so I would put effort into my weight and appearance and the like. Not to mention, you are more self confident when you do so, and people pick up on those social signals and it makes you more approachable. 

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