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Can I be asexual just because I don't care for sex?


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(Warning this topic may be TMI)


Since the beginning of my teenage years, while all my friends were after girls and only thought about sex, I wasn't and never really got into those thoughts, I could find some girls physically attractive but just that and I never had a crush or something like that. Only when I was nineteen years old that I forced myself to go on a date and kiss a girl, I can say that I enjoyed but even so, when I think of sex, I do not care about it. I masturbate almost daily but after the act I do not care about sexual thoughts anymore and I just don't think about them.

 

Can I be asexual just because I really don't care for sex ? Or because I feel some sexual attraction/physical attraction I can't be?

 

PS : Sorry for my bad English, I am not native speaker.

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Hey, your experience is pretty similar to mine actually. Sexuality is on a spectrum, just like gender and romantic attraction. None of these things are simply black and white, so while you may be heteroromantic, you could be somewhere closer to the asexual end of the sexual spectrum!

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MightyProphet

No, I would say I identify pretty closely to you (although I do get crushes, just not of a sexual kind), and wouldn't identify as wholly 'asexual.' I think most of us have probably masturbated as it's not necessarily a sexual thing and can be more of a biological release, I can't say I'm much of an expert but there's a big difference between your head and your genitals (I know I've got everything working down there but it just doesn't connect to how I feel in my head). I don't think you need to rule anything out though- if you identify as asexual now and then start to have a sexual relationship later in life, no one's going to condemn you for it! I'm a little older than you and always thought that the sexual attraction would develop as I got older, but I now see that's probably not the case.

Welcome to AVEN, I wouldn't worry about your English, it seems pretty damn good to me!

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When you say physical attraction, do you mean you just liked the way they looked, or that you wanted to have sex with them?

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On 14/08/2017 at 11:59 AM, TheAP said:

When you say physical attraction, do you mean you just liked the way they looked, or that you wanted to have sex with them?

I just like the way they looked but I don't think in doing sex with them. I like to look and just appreciate them. 

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3 hours ago, Jaimes said:

I just like the way they looked but I don't think in doing sex with them. I like to look and just appreciate them. 

That's aesthetic attraction. You can have that and still be asexual.

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Janus the Fox

Sometimes yes, sometimes no, interest/dis-interest in sex isn't the lack of sexual attraction.  Some may have strong interests for sex or feel sexual attraction for another but don't feel the need to act upon it for any reason.

 

Had a similar teenage experiences, came late and pretty much had next to nothing compared to other guys, the best I've had back then was some attraction for a girl or two or a weak crush, and that's before knowing kids still my age where furiously masturbating, having regular sex with multiple girls or considering marriage and kids despite being only still 17-18, if of course such playground banter could be believed.  Nothing for other guy, not a shred of anything for guys.

 

Fast forward 12 years since then and only now having  a romantic relationship for another guy, first time dating for real, first time it felt just right to do so plus sex for a bonus if the mood and romance swings for it.  So coming up to 30 only one date, only one relationship and only just right to feel to do so.  Never force things or allow others to it it isn't right for you.

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As a 23 y.o. guy who hasn't dated or had sex simply cause I don't really care too much about them, I identify as aromantic and asexual. Could I do it? Yeah; I'm not sexually impotent and it doesn't seem too difficult. Would I do it to save the human race? Sure. Am I all that eager to do it? Not really. 😐 There's other things I could be doing.

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