Koalacraft

I need a friend

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Koalacraft   
Koalacraft

I need a friend who can help me feel confident about being ace I have a lot of people tell me its not a real thing or that I haven't met the right one yet I feel like I'm in a box. I legit just cried because I read a book about a girl who's ace and at the end the author said "you are not alone. You are just right, and you are part of the splendid in this splendifying world. Keep being you." Because I felt accepted by someone I dont even know....

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argar   
argar

Hmm, unfortunately feeling confident comes from you.

 

What I can tell you is that what you are feeling is something most of us on the site have felt at one time or another.

 

We have all had people tell us we will meet (insert here) and suddenly we will want to date and get married.

 

That one day we will want to have kids.

 

I've lived a good long while, and I have yet to feel these things.

 

That is not to say that my experience is anything like yours, but I have had people in my life try to push what they think is "normal" on me.

 

And although those people mean well, for the most part, I am responsible for living my life in a way that makes sense to me.

 

As long as I am being responsible for myself and my actions, no one can dictate how I should feel about things.

 

I am sorry that you have so little support in your present life, but life is a series of moments, and I hope one of those moments leads to you feeling accepted.

 

In case you haven't heard it yet, welcome to AVEN.

 

Share as little or as much as you like.

 

Some of the great people here will respond.

 

Have the best night you can.

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Donatsu   
Donatsu

Welp you're in the right place: welcome to AVEN - you'll never again be short of evidence that asexuality is a thing and that we're out here!

 

I can relate to what you've experienced with regards to invalidation - but for me its been gender. I've just finished season 5 of RuPaul's Drag Race and I almost cried when I discovered that Jinkx Monsoon identifies as non-binary.

 

True, the confidence has to come from you, but now you've also got a whole community of friends to encourage you ^_^

 

Have some cake my ace friend :cake::cake::cake:

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puddlewarts   
puddlewarts

Hey firstly welcome! 

 

As @argar said, being confident comes from yourself!

 

However, knowing you are not alone and your feelings are legitimate does go a long way to accepting a part of you that people will brush off as a "phase" or "fake" or even attention seeking etc etc. 

 

Honestly, it was in my case a fake it till I make it regarding confidence. It was knowing that I can live my life in a way that respected myself, but also respected others around me. I found that learning myself, and what that meant for the current was the best way of knowing how i wanted to navigate the world. Learning/wanting things like romance, intimacy, relationships, and future plans all are individual experiences that you may never want, or may in the future be intrigued by. Regardless, you have to be ok in living your life in the most authentic way you can without bending to the whims of people who will probably never understand completely.

 

You do you! 

 

Hope that helps :)

 

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Andiamo   
Andiamo

Hello and welcome to AVEN! I'm glad you decided to join, and you've definitely come to the right place.

 

What that author wrote is true. You are not alone, and you are just right. I know it doesn't always feel like that, but it's true. I went through a lot of similar struggles with being ace, and am finally starting to feel less lost and alone in my gender identity as well. If you're looking for someone to talk to, or even just someone to listen, feel free to PM me. I'm always happy to be a friend.

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iff   
iff

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN!  :cake: thanks for joining the forums and thanks for sharing your thoughts.  Hope you like the forums and make friends here :)

 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 


The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 

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 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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