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Does anyone else feel this way?


theredbubble

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theredbubble

About once a month I get really down about being asexual. I question and invalidate myself during this time. I'll catch myself thinking all the horrible things people have said when I've come out to them. I was just wondering if this is "normal" and something other Aces , greysexuals, and Demi's experience.

To further elaborate, it's more like I've been saying all month how I hate avocados and then one day I think we'll everyone else likes avocados, so you should too. Why don't you? Maybe there's something wrong with you because avocados are so important to mainstream media.

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I did before I knew what asexuality was but it doesn't really distress me now. I've just accepted it as another weird facet of myself. I've been called cold and cynical for all my life for it, but that's just who I am.

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Veryfairygirl14

Every now and then I do feel that way. I try not to but I can't help it. I try not to let it get me down though, despite the fact I sometimes desperately wish to be "Normal". Ultimately though I am for the most part happy with who and what I am.

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theredbubble
2 minutes ago, Veryfairygirl14 said:

Every now and then I do feel that way. I try not to but I can't help it. I try not to let it get me down though, despite the fact I sometimes desperately wish to be "Normal". Ultimately though I am for the most part happy with who and what I am.

It's so nice to know that other people feel this way. My best friend is pansexual and doesn't understand when I'm like this. So it's just nice to not be alone.

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Veryfairygirl14

I agree. I feel like a lot of people feel alone a lot more that they want to. Especially those of us on the ace spectrum.

Edited by Veryfairygirl14
Grammar
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theredbubble
3 minutes ago, Veryfairygirl14 said:

I agree. I feel like a lot of people feel alone a lot more that they want to. Especially those of us on the ace spectrum.

I agree with that, but I wish it wasn't that way. 

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Veryfairygirl14

I do too. It doesn't have to be sad though. I spent a lot of time in my own company which has led me to be pretty comfortable in my own skin. If you don't get along with yourself then you've got bigger problems than lack of company.

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
2 hours ago, arekathevampyre said:

yeah used to . But now I don't care what other people think about my gender identity and romantic/sexual orientation anymore

Exactly. Finding your true self isn't easy but always worth trying. It's hard at first but getting better over time, even more when you're starting to find others like you. Also, I really dislike avocados btw ;D

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theredbubble
1 minute ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

Exactly. Finding your true self isn't easy but always worth trying. It's hard at first but getting better over time, even more when you start to find others like you.

 A support group filled with people similar to you is amazing, but where do I find them? Or how do I find them? I know plenty of Aces online but can't find any where I live. 

Im not complaining about who I have, but it would be nicer to have friendly faces in my life instead of friendly profile pics ^_^

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
19 minutes ago, BubleMnky said:

 A support group filled with people similar to you is amazing, but where do I find them? Or how do I find them? I know plenty of Aces online but can't find any where I live. 

Im not complaining about who I have, but it would be nicer to have friendly faces in my life instead of friendly profile pics ^_^

As for RL I can't offer you any advise since I'm actually feeling pretty deserted over here too. Sorry. I don't really know why. It's so strange. I'm living in the capital city of a rather large country but there doesn't seem to be even one active regular ace meetup around here :( Ok, there might be one small group eventually but it's pretty closed-up against "strangers and newcomers", especially when you're starting to use words like demigray etc so I'd rather stay by myself than trying to push into this bunch of people.

 

However, I hope you'll find something in your local area. There's also a thread for RL meet ups here ----> Meetup Market. Check it out :)

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theredbubble
1 minute ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

As for RL I can't offer you any advise since I'm actually feeling pretty deserted over here too. Sorry. I don't really know why. It's so strange. I'm living in the capital city of a rather large country but there doesn't seem to be even one active regular ace meetup around here :( Ok, there might be one small group eventually but it's pretty closed-up against "strangers and newcomers", especially when you're starting to use words like demigray etc so I'd rather stay by myself than trying to push into this bunch of people.

 

However, I hope you'll find something in your local area. There's also a thread for RL meet-ups here ----> Meetup Market. Check it out :)

Okay, thank you!

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17 minutes ago, Veryfairygirl14 said:

I do too. It doesn't have to be sad though. I spent a lot of time in my own company which has led me to be pretty comfortable in my own skin. If you don't get along with yourself then you've got bigger problems than lack of company.

I have to get along with my dogs, too, but they tolerate me.

Honestly, though, I live in the middle of nowhere and, other than at work, I'll spend days not talking to anyone but the dogs. It's lonely, but I'm getting comfortable in my own skin...it doesn't bode well for my old age, though, and aside from dying alone, I do occasionally have visions of the dogs eating me.... I wish I could say I was kidding.:huh:

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The thing about finding who you are is that it's a lifelong journey. Used to feel a little bad and "left out?" Like with the avocados, but now I've begun to accept the fact that I'm ace. 

My advice is spend more time with people who do accept you, if you can find them.

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theredbubble
11 minutes ago, StormySky said:

The thing about finding who you are is that it's a lifelong journey. Used to feel a little bad and "left out?" Like with the avocados, but now I've begun to accept the fact that I'm ace. 

My advice is spend more time with people who do accept you, if you can find them.

I've found all sorts of people that accept me, however there is a lack of empathy in our friendship. All of my friends are very sexual, so they don't understand on a personal level how I'm feeling in various situations. Luckily, they love me and are willing to work with to improve our friendship.

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  • 6 months later...

I'm going through a lot of this now, especially since I'm just starting to use the term asexual. I get really in my head about "never finding a partner," and it gets me in a depressive pit that really sucks. Luckily, I have some good support here as well as this community to start helping me be okay with myself more. 

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