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Wolf27

How do you meet partners?

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Wolf27

I am 27 and finally happy with who I am and my sexuality. However I really struggle to date. To be honest it's because I don't know where to look. I've tried online dating and my friends suggested clubs but I can never guys who have similar expectations of relationships as me. I was just wondering how you lucky people who have found a partner found them. Any suggestions will be helpful.

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Deus Ex Infinity

I've got no clue tbh.  Wish I could answer to that myself. I'm curious on further replies though.

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ABryonJ.maybe

I think you are asking a very difficult question! I wish I had advice but this is a question I ask myself all the time! I may just hang out and see what other people say. 

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Deus Ex Infinity
1 minute ago, ABryonJ.maybe? said:

I think you are asking a very difficult question! I wish I had advice but this is a question I ask myself all the time! I may just hang out and see what other people say. 

Welcome to the club :D

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ABryonJ.maybe

Oh man, yes! I've always wanted to he in a club! 😹😹😹

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Serran

I generally find people by making friends from mutual interests and things developing from there. Five relationships have formed that way. 

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roland.o

So far, I was relying on pure chance - and didn't have much luck. I'm currently in a phase of sorting out my feelings. When I'm stable again, I'm thinking of using local online sites to find people for explicitly non-dating activities, such as ballroom dancing or seeing a movie. I'm living in a big city, so there should be some singles around. I'd like to keep it noncommittal until I click with somebody. Don't think I could handle the pressure of actual dating well enough.

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Graceful

No idea. I've only had one and we originally met on AVEN.

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Santa's Little Elf

I dunno..i'm just not that interested in THE ONE™ to even try to find them.

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Deus Ex Infinity
8 minutes ago, roland.o said:

So far, I was relying on pure chance - and didn't have much luck. I'm currently in a phase of sorting out my feelings. When I'm stable again, I'm thinking of using local online sites to find people for explicitly non-dating activities, such as ballroom dancing or seeing a movie. I'm living in a big city, so there should be some singles around. I'd like to keep it noncommittal until I click with somebody. Don't think I could handle the pressure of actual dating well enough.

You're not talking about Berlin as for "living in a big city" by any chance, do you? If so, I would asked you out for a coffee or something but yeah... without any further intention of course.

 

Pressure's always worse. Especially for dating. Anyway, I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed for you buddy.

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NerotheReaper

Mutual interests are a great thing, people find work a good place to meet someone, and meeting through mutual friends is a good way to go too. 

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Lovelykat

Well I've met most of my boyfriends in school or at work, and my current boyfriend is someone I met through a popular club at my college. So yeah, mostly friends of friends and coworkers for me. I have tried online dating too but I don't really like it. 

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Pramana

I'm going to join the chorus of people saying "no idea". It is hard to find other asexuals in real life; your best chances are probably online with asexual-specific sites (easier if you're open to a long-distance relationship). I would think that nightclubs must be terrible for asexual dating, as those establishments market to people looking for sexual encounters.

If you're hoping to find friendships, I think you would have an easier time, especially if you have a hobby that provides an opportunity to connect with people who have similar interests.

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Steve M

I wish I knew.  I have dated several sexuals, but it always fizzled out when I wouldn't have sex.  I did have a three year relationship with a former work colleague.  Now, I am resigned to only dating asexuals, it just seems to be hard to find one who's interested.  I've tried online dating but get nowhere.

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lux aeterna
26 minutes ago, Serran said:

I generally find people by making friends from mutual interests and things developing from there. Five relationships have formed that way. 

Five? Really? Wow. Tell us your secret. You have an awesome cake receipe? :D

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lux aeterna
23 minutes ago, roland.o said:

So far, I was relying on pure chance - and didn't have much luck. I'm currently in a phase of sorting out my feelings. When I'm stable again, I'm thinking of using local online sites to find people for explicitly non-dating activities, such as ballroom dancing or seeing a movie. I'm living in a big city, so there should be some singles around. I'd like to keep it noncommittal until I click with somebody. Don't think I could handle the pressure of actual dating well enough.

I am always happy to see other germans. Always felt like I am the only one, haha. :D You live in the south, west, east, north?

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AnotherMember
On 11/8/2017 at 3:21 PM, Deus Ex Infinity said:

Welcome to the club :D

 

Anyway, good luck. :) 

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lux aeterna

I think there is really no other option as online dating. Or you begin to talk with someone in private here :D

 

I am not a fan of online dating at all and I have a small group of good friends and like to meet their other friends occassionally and therefore unfortunately know that I could not get to know someone who thinks the same way as I do. Just today I waited for the train and next to me sat a good looking guy and I am not too shy to begin talking, but I just thought like: "what's the point, anyway?"

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AnotherMember
3 minutes ago, lux aeterna said:

I think there is really no other option as online dating. Or you begin to talk with someone in private here :D

 

I am not a fan of online dating at all and I have a small group of good friends and like to meet their other friends occassionally and therefore unfortunately know that I could not get to know someone who thinks the same way as I do. Just today I waited for the train and next to me sat a good looking guy and I am not too shy to begin talking, but I just thought like: "what's the point, anyway?"

I don't know, I don't think it's a good idea to message people from this site unless  1. you already know the other part is seeking for a romantic something and you could fit in that romantic something 2. both have interacted enough in a friendly way. I mean, I would message anyone to comment on something about a thread or for strict friendship, but been straight about seeking a romantic relationship could be problematic, maybe? Specially because it could possible be so unwanted for the other part? 

 

Also I find terrible the idea of dating people at work, I wouldn't do it. I was once weak enough to sort of fall for someone at work, but finally, before we even had something, that person lost the interest on me, lucky me!! hahaha!! Gladly this said person works in the same place but a different city, so I would encounter him very rarely, I would be feeling so shi...y if I had to see him often. 

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lux aeterna
1 minute ago, Iam-me said:

I don't know, I don't think it's a good idea to message people from this site unless  1. you already know the other part is seeking for a romantic something and you could fit in that romantic something 2. both have interacted enough in a friendly way. I mean, I would message anyone to comment on something about a thread or for strict friendship, but been straight about seeking a romantic relationship could be problematic, maybe? Specially because it could possible be so unwanted for the other part? 

 

Also I find terrible the idea of dating people at work, I wouldn't do it. I was once weak enough to sort of fall for someone at work, but finally, before we even had something, that person lost the interest on me, lucky me!! hahaha!! Gladly this said person works in the same place but a different city, so I would encounter him very rarely, I would be feeling so shi...y if I had to see him often. 

I didn't mean straight forward, I just meant, when you find someone interesting, why not engage in a private talk.

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AnotherMember
3 minutes ago, lux aeterna said:

I didn't mean straight forward, I just meant, when you find someone interesting, why not engage in a private talk.

I'm not against people messaging each other, just in case :P anyone can message others as much as desired!  I was just saying that I wouldn't do it, because it's a scary zone, for me, at least,  I would be scared of wanting to make friends but that people would be thinking  I'm message them because I seeking something romantic and not a friendship, that would be awful! :blush: Am I being too silly with this ideas? lol 

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lux aeterna
4 minutes ago, Iam-me said:

I'm not against people messaging each other, just in case :P anyone can message others as much as desired!  I was just saying that I wouldn't do it, because it's a scary zone, for me, at least,  I would be scared of wanting to make friends but that people would be thinking  I'm message them because I seeking something romantic and not a friendship, that would be awful! :blush: Am I being too silly with this ideas? lol 

No, I always overthink as well.

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podsnap

You could set up an account on Acebook although I haven't had any luck with it myself. They tell me I'm too asexual. :blink:

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lux aeterna
3 minutes ago, podsnap said:

You could set up an account on Acebook although I haven't had any luck with it myself. They tell me I'm too asexual. :blink:

How can you be TOO asexual?

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podsnap
1 minute ago, lux aeterna said:

How can you be TOO asexual?

Some people just HAVE to have the experience of me liking having their tongue in my mouth. I tell them that if I wanted *any* tongue, of course, it would be their tongue. I'm sure they have a magnificent tongue. It's just that unfortunately, I don't do tongue stuff.

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lux aeterna
1 minute ago, podsnap said:

Some people just HAVE to have the experience of me liking having their tongue in my mouth. I tell them that if I wanted *any* tongue, of course, it would be their tongue. I'm sure they have a magnificent tongue. It's just that unfortunately, I don't do tongue stuff.

you are my hero.

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grayRabbit
11 minutes ago, lux aeterna said:

No, I always overthink as well.

Me too, except for [rare] moments when I don't... and then overthink that forever after. :P :blink:

 

I attempted to start a profile on a couple sites; okcupid, where I couldn't even answer the initial questions which ultimately led me here, and acebook, which still felt weird. Doesn't help that I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for and so attempting to answer that question in any way feels misleading. I've decided I'm okay not answering it for the time being. I've never dated and have very limited experience with friends [and people in general], but my best friend and I met online because of similar career paths/interests [we posted artwork to the same sites/forums]. Unfortunately he lives 10 hours away so I still have no one to go hiking, etc. with.

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lux aeterna
1 minute ago, grayRabbit said:

Me too, except for [rare] moments when I don't... and then overthink that forever after. :P :blink:

 

I attempted to start a profile on a couple sites; okcupid, where I couldn't even answer the initial questions which ultimately led me here, and acebook, which still felt weird. Doesn't help that I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for and so attempting to answer that question in any way feels misleading. I've decided I'm okay not answering it for the time being. I've never dated and have very limited experience with friends [and people in general], but my best friend and I met online because of similar career paths/interests [we posted artwork to the same sites/forums]. Unfortunately he lives 10 hours away so I still have no one to go hiking, etc. with.

Too bad, I always read how idyllic Maine is.

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Serran
1 hour ago, lux aeterna said:

Five? Really? Wow. Tell us your secret. You have an awesome cake receipe? :D

Haha no secret. I just talk to people while playing games, or in mutual friend groups, or cause we're both regulars at some website (my fiancee is from AVEN, for example). :)

 

Personally, I tried the online dating thing through OKCupid and .... I dated one guy for three dates and it was kind of fun, but meh. Not my thing. I prefer going friends with no pressure to be romantic, to romantic relationship, not just casual dating til you like each other enough to be a thing. 

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