lux aeterna

Sex in music and movies - uncomfortable or neutral?

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna

Hello everyone,

 

I hope you all have a nice weekend. One thing popped into my head this week. I am a big fan of Oscar and the Wolf (Belgian band, genre mostly electronic) and Two Feet (producers of electronic music from New York), both uploaded live sessions/concerts on Youtube, which I happily watched. I realized than that they actually both make very sexual music, with sensual sounds and emotional, flirty lyrics. That is a part of my fascination for those bands I have to admit, but actually I do not think it is something weird, like I do not imagine myself with smeone when I listen to it, but it makes me feel good and not uncomfortable and I actually find it really interesting to watch people where you can almost be sure they are very sexual people.

 

I read a lot of threads about where people find sex secenes on TV and in movies unnecessary and it makes them feel uneasy. I studied social work with the thematic priority in behavioral psychology and I mostly feel interest for relationships and sex on TV and in movies. Like, what made you both feel: "man, we should pull our genitals into each other?" and: "why do people just never understand that there is no one night stand without feelings because your hormones are making you feel like you belong to that person?"

 

What are your thoughts on sexual influences in music and films? Does it make you feel uneasy and why? Or are you completly neutral? Do you have the same behavioral interest as I do? To be honest, it makes me feel kinda relieved that at least in one point I act like the sexual 90% population of our world, helps me to act easier around friends and friends of friends.

 

I hope my thread is not too confusing :D If there are any questions - ask away! I am looking forward to answers. Cheerio xx

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Doctor13   
Doctor13

Uncomfortable, definitely uncomfortable. That's just me - interested to see what others say!

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Polygon   
Polygon

Neutral. Borderline angry because it's a waste of screentime. 

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna

Where does that feeling come from, what do you think?

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SecretCows   
SecretCows

There are plenty of times when I don't realize that it is sexual. I listen to something and then put my own meaning behind it and don't consider another meaning. That's what I love about music and art in general. Art is open to everyone's own interpretation. 

 

In general I'm not sex repulsed. I dislike most nudity in film because it's so at the front of what's happening. I'm totally cool with nudity, but I feel like media uses it for a shock value. When it's done well, I actually like nudity. Sex and nudity can be a great tool for character and world building. 

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Findus   
Findus

Depends. Neutral most of the time, especially in music. If it gets too graphic, it can make me feel uncomfortable, but that's rather rare. If it just takes up most of the meaning of a song / movie / book, then I find it boring.

 

In fanfiction, I'm rather neutral too, as long as it doesn't come before the plot, it's fine. If the plot is very important, I just skip the smut, if not, I skim read it. When it's not graphic at all, rather about romance, I find it beautiful (which is funny, as I'm as aro as I am ace).

 

The one exception to my neutrality I have to point out is the 'sex scene' in The Fault in Our Stars, which I think is extremely beautiful. That being said, what is shown is rather romantic than sexual, but their look of admiration, the slight clumsiness, their joy... that is a thing I find totally adorable.

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SecretCows   
SecretCows
1 minute ago, Findus said:

In fanfiction, I'm rather neutral too, as long as it doesn't come before the plot, it's fine. If the plot is very important, I just skip the smut, if not, I skim read it. When it's not graphic at all, rather about romance, I find it beautiful (which is funny, as I'm as aro as I am ace).

That's actually the reason that I like "adult" fiction. A lot of character relationships are really developed in them. It usually makes for a good romance story if  you skip the sex scenes.

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna

Truer words never spoken, SecretCows and Findus (and btw, I loooove Petterson & Findus).

I think as well that the media uses sex and nudity way too much to make a plot interesting or because of "sex sells". Most of all I think I really just find it interesting how two people act together, for example the scene you mentioned Findus, that is really one of the scenes I just find pure innocent as well as the scene in Cruel Intentions between Annette and Sebastian or (if someone knows it) when they made a movie out of love in times of cholera from Gabriel García Márquez, the whole movie is all about sex, but in a romantic way.

 

Sometimes I just ask myself how it feels to be sexual because I seriously have no fucking clue. :D

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Carson:)   
Carson:)

Don't like it.

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Liebelit   
Liebelit

Sexual elements in music can be really cool imo at least if it's done tastefully and creatively. Sex in movies and tv can be uncomfortable if it's too explicit and also depending on the kind of sex the characters have, and what the relationship between is like in general, and what characters are doing it. So under some circumstances it could make me uncomfortable but in others I could be totally neutral about it. 

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna
2 minutes ago, Carson:) said:

Don't like it.

how come?

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embracetheace   
embracetheace

with music i find it more funny than uncomfortable. with movies it really depends on the context. if the sex is there just to give sex to the audience and it serves no purpose and the sounds and everything are over exaggerated, it makes me really uncomfortable. On the other hand, if it's more of a meaningful scene then I'm either pretty neutral or maybe even happy to see it happen.

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna

RANT: Who watched Riverdale and was also pissed that they didn't let Jughead be asexual?! That would have been completly awesome. But nooooo...

Or Sheldon. I saw no reason at all why he had to be sexual at some point.

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embracetheace   
embracetheace
Just now, lux aeterna said:

RANT: Who watched Riverdale and was also pissed that they didn't let Jughead be asexual?! That would have been completly awesome. But nooooo...

Or Sheldon. I saw no reason at all why he had to be sexual at some point.

ME! I was really upset. #1 because he is canonically aroace in the comics. #2 Especially because i have a lot of friends who watch Riverdale that don't understand my asexuality and think I just haven't met the right person, so that representation might have directly helped them be more understanding of me. He might still be asexual and romantic, which might be interesting. But honestly i don't have much hope at this point. I was pretty upset with the Sheldon thing too. He is probably still a-spec, but to me, what the show did was just erasure and reinforcing the idea that sex makes someone more.. fulfilled and "normal". 

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna

 

2 minutes ago, embracetheace said:

ME! I was really upset. #1 because he is canonically aroace in the comics. #2 Especially because i have a lot of friends who watch Riverdale that don't understand my asexuality and think I just haven't met the right person, so that representation might have directly helped them be more understanding of me. He might still be asexual and romantic, which might be interesting. But honestly i don't have much hope at this point. I was pretty upset with the Sheldon thing too. He is probably still a-spec, but to me, what the show did was just erasure and reinforcing the idea that sex makes someone more.. fulfilled and "normal". 

Exactly, now they "finally" have "normal and fullfilled relationship." Stop watched the new episodes than. And with Jughead I was really a bit depressed, because I was soooo lucky to identify with a character on TV. I was fine with them becoming a couple and kissing and everything and than it was like "oh it's the final and we need a cliffhanger and oh, let's make him sexual as well" and I said "noooooo". It's really like media wants to try to hide asexuality, because it's "boring." Except for Billions, I just heard that it was something completly new to have a gender neutral character (Asia was the name?), but unfortunately we can no watch it in Germany.

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Findus   
Findus
15 minutes ago, SecretCows said:

That's actually the reason that I like "adult" fiction. A lot of character relationships are really developed in them. It usually makes for a good romance story if  you skip the sex scenes.

Yes, and I'm very lucky to have become a shipper of a ship only shipped by adults and with quite a large choice, as it is within the Harry Potter fandom (even if it is a minor ship, it gets attention). So I really get to pick the best, and children don't write anything for that ship. Most times, it's written by young women of 20-30 years, emotionally mature and not (not only at least!) sex-obsessed. Handy ;)

 

18 minutes ago, lux aeterna said:

(and btw, I loooove Petterson & Findus)

me tooo! I even have a poster in my room xD

Yes, Innocent is a word I would also use for that scene. I don't perceive it as sexual at all, but that's probably a mistake on my part. I need to watch those you mentioned :)

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna
4 minutes ago, Findus said:

Yes, and I'm very lucky to have become a shipper of a ship only shipped by adults and with quite a large choice, as it is within the Harry Potter fandom (even if it is a minor ship, it gets attention). So I really get to pick the best, and children don't write anything for that ship. Most times, it's written by young women of 20-30 years, emotionally mature and not (not only at least!) sex-obsessed. Handy ;)

 

me tooo! I even have a poster in my room xD

Yes, Innocent is a word I would also use for that scene. I don't perceive it as sexual at all, but that's probably a mistake on my part. I need to watch those you mentioned :)

Cruel intentions is very dramatic, sad and - as it says - cruel, so pack some kleenex, your comfort food and your favorite blanket. The sex scene is the only happy scene in the whole movie... and the last scene from my point of view. Also the OST is one of my favorites. Love in the times of cholera is just a very good adaption of the book and I cried. A lot.

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Amnesiac   
Amnesiac

Neutral unless it's pointless. 

 

Also feel I'm the only person who never saw Sheldon as Asexual from the start, seeing as it was mentioned.

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Antihero.   
Antihero.

Neutral for the most part and often even bored but sometimes, when the scenes are well made, are fitting the music/the plot and fulfil certain criteria (one of which would be both people who are displayed have to be male and aesthetic in my eyes) I like them, might even find them hot for the lack of a better term.
But I am not fully asexual anyway, that might explain my different view on that matter.

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna
2 minutes ago, Amnesiac said:

Neutral unless it's pointless. 

 

Also feel I'm the only person who never saw Sheldon as Asexual from the start, seeing as it was mentioned.

Can you try to explain, like what made you feel he a general sexual interest?

 

And is that your real profile picture? Because it looks so familiar to me. I go to a lot of underground concerts.

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna
6 minutes ago, Antihero. said:

Neutral for the most part and often even bored but sometimes, when the scenes are well made, are fitting the music/the plot and fulfil certain criteria (one of which would be both people who are displayed have to be male and aesthetic in my eyes) I like them, might even find them hot for the lack of a better term.
But I am not fully asexual anyway, that might explain my different view on that matter.

Second person I see her from Germany! Yay!

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Amnesiac   
Amnesiac
20 minutes ago, lux aeterna said:

Can you try to explain, like what made you feel he a general sexual interest?

 

And is that your real profile picture? Because it looks so familiar to me. I go to a lot of underground concerts.

 

It wasn't his lack of sexual interest, but more his deep rooted narcissism meaning no one was ever good enough, until Amy. You could argue that whilst someone like Leslie mentally challenged him in the same way as Amy, her overall personality was never compatible and biologically, she would never fit his requirements for procreation (Something I'm fairly sure he's said Amy does, it has been a while, mind). As for his other general traits, his character has always been to the extreme of everything, that doesn't always mean asexual, like it doesn't mean he has Aspergers/Autism like a lot of people also thought. As always though, open to interpretation!

 

That's Tom Searle formally of Architects (RIP).

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna
Just now, Amnesiac said:

 

It wasn't his lack of sexual interest, but more his deep rooted narcissism meaning no one was ever good enough, until Amy. You could argue that whilst Leslie mentally challenged him in the same way as Amy, her overall personality was never compatible and biologically, she would never fit his requirements for procreation (Something I'm fairly sure he's said Amy does, it has been a while, mind). As for his other general traits, his character has always been to the extreme of everything, that doesn't always mean asexual, like it doesn't mean he has Aspergers/Autism like a lot of people also thought. As always though, open to interpretation!

 

That's Tom Searle formally of Architects (RIP).

That is an interesting point of view you have. I think he is definitely on the a-spec, but managed to build his own comfort zone where people respect his personal traits. I agree with the deep rooted narcissm theory, that can also be true or what the writers thought of instead of pure asexuality.

 

I knew that face was familiar!

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Saesha   
Saesha

I'm perfectly ok with sex in music and movies. Coming up on social media talking about how you imagine yourself riding this male character and how you fked this celeb is what annoys me.

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna
9 minutes ago, Saesha said:

I'm perfectly ok with sex in music and movies. Coming up on social media talking about how you imagine yourself riding this male character and how you fked this celeb is what annoys me.

Especially for the music part. Music makes me feel accepted. I will see the first band I mentioned twice in concert this year and I look so forward, because I know even if they would know they would not care at all and just be happy I'm their fan or even blush, because their music made me interested with the concept of being sexual.

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guava   
guava

It makes me kind of uncomfortable. Either that, or confused.

 

It especially irritates me when they halt the plot for it.

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mbiggs934   
mbiggs934

I guess neutral most of the time... maybe positive if it helps with character development but aside from that I feel like it's pointless.

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Gloomy   
Gloomy

I don't like seeing sex in movies. I think songs about sex are funny for some reason though.

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AncientAmateur   
AncientAmateur

I have no issue with the music side of things. As long as the music part of the song good, then I quite like those songs. For example I love Prince's music & quite a lot of his songs are sexual.

 

As for movies I'm fairly neutral, though I can get a bit uncomfortable when watching with someone else.

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lux aeterna   
lux aeterna

Thank you for your interesting insights!

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