trytoquessmyname

What sexuality am I?

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trytoquessmyname   
trytoquessmyname

first, i know the title is really basic, i wasn't sure what forum/gatecory to put this, sorry my grammar, i'm not a native english speaker. NOTICE: THIS IS GONNA GET COMPILCATED!!! :)

so, i was wondering if someone could open up my sexuality? until this day, i have always know only couple sexuality's. but a boy confessed me today, and i didn't know how to brake it down to him. so i googled stuff and founded so many different sexuality's it's kinda bothering me now. i'm having a sexuality crisis!!! can someone help me?

 

i'm 15 years old and i'm an female. i have had feelings for boy's couple times, but at the same time, i could imagine dating a female person. i haven't had a crush on girl yet, but i wouldn't be surprised if i had. i have noticed i feel often attraction to people who are slightly feminime (for example k-pop idols who use makeup or male vloggers who are feminemly fashionable??).

i read a lot of fanfiction's (smut and fluff) about idols, but i never imagine [Y/N] = (your name) being actually me. i imagine her to be someone like me, but still a different person.

i do masturbate, want to date and i do find things sexually attractive, but don't like these thing's in practise. sometimes i see a cute guy i think ''wow, i would'', but then actually being put in a situation, i'm like ''nah''(i'm really introverted). also, 'cos i'm unsure about my sexuality i'm avoiding relationships with people.

i am still kinda unsure if i wan't to have sex in the future, dating is kinda like 'i wanna kiss, hug and cuddle with u' but not like 'getting horny' and stuff (but if my partner want's to have sex, i could have sex with them sometimes). like i wanna us to go on dates, before considering starting a relationship. but i had this thing once before with a guy, and when i got to know he likes me back, my attraction disappeared. (i feel like i liked him a lot but like platonic-liking)

sometimes i'm also even unsure about my relationships with people i know. sometimes i cant decide do i like them sexually or not. also, i usually have crushes (super rarely and my crushes are usually really short timed) on people i know i have zero changes with. like people who are taken, too old (usually they are like 16-22), they don't know about my existence or they are fictional character's.

 

i know this is a really long text, but that is the reason i can't really tell my sexuality... any help?? also, if you have read till the bottom, thank you :) feel free to ask questions i you don't understand something!!

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cloudy   
cloudy

What you said about your attraction disappearing once your feelings are reciprocated  sounds like lithromantic/lithsexual?

When you say youve had feelings for boys and are attracted to girls, what type of attraction are you experiencing? The fact you havent had a crush on a girl (even though you dont mind the idea of dating them) suggests you dont feel romantically attracted to girls but only you can decide what you feel 

 

Look at the different types of attraction (aesthetic, romantic, sexual, sensory and platonic) and figure out which ones you feel towards who

 

Also liking the idea of sex/romance but not wanting to actually act on it is not unusual (i think its actually called autochorissexual/romantic but i wouldnt worry about complicated labels like that just yet)

 

Take your time discovering who you are and you dont always have to get it right first time and you can change your mind! 

 

I think you need to try and seperate your romantic, platonic and sexual feelings/attraction and look at them individually and decide your sexual and romantic orientation from there 

 

I hope you find yourself soon :D:cake:

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trytoquessmyname   
trytoquessmyname
58 minutes ago, cloudy said:

What you said about your attraction disappearing once your feelings are reciprocated  sounds like lithromantic/lithsexual?

When you say youve had feelings for boys and are attracted to girls, what type of attraction are you experiencing? The fact you havent had a crush on a girl (even though you dont mind the idea of dating them) suggests you dont feel romantically attracted to girls but only you can decide what you feel 

 

Look at the different types of attraction (aesthetic, romantic, sexual sensory and platonic) and figure out which ones you feel towards who

 

Also liking the idea of sex/romance but not wanting to actually act on it is not unusual (i think its actually called autochorissexual/romantic but i wouldnt worry about complicated labels like that just yet)

 

Take your time discovering who you are and you dont always have to get it right first time and you can change your mind! 

 

I think you need to try and seperate your romantic, platonic and sexual feelings/attraction and look at them individually and decide your sexual and romantic orientation from there 

 

I hope you find yourself soon :D:cake:

1. Lithromantic : it kinda does sound's like me. i often fantasize about being in a relationship, but usually  i fantasize being in a long term relationship. i don't like the idea of dating /while/ trying to figure out the relationship between me and them. also, i'm kinda young so 'not wanting to date' might also be because it? usually i imagine myself like 3 years older than i am in my fantasize's. but i really do like hug's and cuddle's. even if they are platonic.

2. i rarely do it, but i sometimes fantasize about cuddling or holding hands with a girl, but at the same time i fell odd about it??

3. Aesthetic : towards girls i think it describes it perfectly. now when i think about it, 'liking' girls is just came from tumblr, since it's kinda usual in there

4. Romantic : i think it describes my affection towards males pretty well

5. Sexual sensory : (didn't find an article in my native language, so didn't understand very well)

6. Platonic : is kinda also what i feel towards women. but honestly, to me Aesthetic and Platonic sound pretty much the same to me...

6. Autochorissexual sounds just like what i'm feeling!

7. Autochoromantic sounds little better than Lithromantic, but can't /really/ tell the difference. but i'm learning!!

8. Yes, i am trying to do so. i really didn't realise i could do that!

 

EDIT: I founded a sexuality called 'Queer' = 'This is sometimes used as an umbrella term for those who do not identify as heterosexual. It can also refer to someone who does not fit any specific sexuality.' - I was wondering if I could use that on daily basics, rather than using like 3 different labels..? :)

 

Thank you for your answer!! it helped a lot~ i'm still thinking about the labels, maybe i can find couple which are describing me well~!! <3 

Edited by trytoquessmyname
I wanted to add text i founded online. :)

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cloudy   
cloudy

Do whatever you feel comfortable with, you are the person that knows best what you are feeling and you can express that with the labels that feel most comfortable for you ^_^ By the sounds of what you are saying, if you do not feel sexual attraction (wanting to have sex with other people) you could simply use the umbrella term "asexual" and as you say you are only attracted to men romantically, you could say you were "heteroromantic". I dont want to force labels on you so do whatever feels most comfortable but take your time to understand yourself and your sexuality fully and dont worry if you dont get the labels right the first time ^_^:cake:

 

Also im really curious, what is your native language if you dont mind me asking? :D

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trytoquessmyname   
trytoquessmyname
20 hours ago, cloudy said:

Do whatever you feel comfortable with, you are the person that knows best what you are feeling and you can express that with the labels that feel most comfortable for you ^_^ By the sounds of what you are saying, if you do not feel sexual attraction (wanting to have sex with other people) you could simply use the umbrella term "asexual" and as you say you are only attracted to men romantically, you could say you were "heteroromantic". I dont want to force labels on you so do whatever feels most comfortable but take your time to understand yourself and your sexuality fully and dont worry if you dont get the labels right the first time ^_^:cake:

 

Also im really curious, what is your native language if you dont mind me asking? :D

Thank you for your help~  and my native language is Finish!! :)

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